Who Killed Fat Rap?
Friday January 04th 2008,
Filed under: Print Work,The Unkut Opinion,Uptown Kicking It,Video Clips
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You may not have noticed, but there seems to be some kind of conspiracy to eliminate the “big-boned” rap star. It’s bad enough that the fast food spots are slinging salad in an attempt to halt the Subway juggernaut, but now fat rappers seem to have gone the way of the laser disc. Was it so long ago that cholesterol-charged lardo’s such as Heavy D were proudly making songs like “Overweight Lover” and “Chunky But Funky”? From the Fat Boys to Chubb Rock, B-Fats and the 2 Bigg MC, the 80’s were a celebration of all things deep-fried. The trend got so big that Arsenio Hall recorded an entire parody album under the alias of Chunky A! Even the ladies got involved, as KRS-One’s super-sized ex-wife Ms. Melodie and The Overweight Pooch attempted to be large and in charge.

Could it be that the untimely deaths of two of the most notorious fatties in hip-hop was seen as something of a wake-up call to future donut-scoffing MC’s? Sure, Biggie Smalls was a proud fat man with no intention of curbing his cake intake as he blazed up the charts during his reign at the top, and his murder had no obvious connection to his obesity, but you can’t help but think that a slimmer man might have made for a harder target for those LA hitmen. No such grey area exists in the case of Big “Moon Dog” Punisher, who was blessed with a gift for amazing multi-syllable verses and a hunger for all things filled with custard. In between pistol-whipping his wife and eating three whole BBQ chickens for a breakfast, the big fella weighed 700 pounds at one stage!

Whether a direct result of these big units croaking or pressure from their publicists, a number of flab factories have traded love handles for athletic sandals in an attempt to slim down. Timbaland and Missy Elliot have both shed major pounds in recent times (although it could be argued that this is more of a result of massive pill popping rather than fitness regimes), and just recently KRS-One announced that will be following Biz Markie by appearing on Celebrity Fit Club! This madness is clearly the work of notorious light-weight Snoop Dogg and the Scientologists. We as the record buying public need bring back fat rap before valuable institutions such as KFC are lost forever.

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29 Comments so far
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Pharoahe Monch got skinny. Don’t he look hungry though? Too bad his rhymes are no longer the same. When was his “Last Piece of Chicken?” His style was nicer when he was on stage hittin the asthma inhaler inbetween verses: “with a craaaazy straw!” It’s not that we want rappers to suffer, maybe it’s just that raps sound better spit with the raw terror of bad health. I always loved the phlegm-filled gasps Pun used to make at the end, and frequently sneak into the middle, of bars. He sounded like a Cerebus drowning in hell confessing his mere existence– some producers would edit them out for the more polished songs like Crush A Lot but some dudes like Showbiz would leave ‘em in a keep it raw.

Comment by Murgatroid 01.04.08 @

I meant Cerberus– ya know the three-headed dog thing, last labor of Heracles and all that, “the ancient greeks were fuckin freaks”

Comment by Murgatroid 01.04.08 @

Hmmm. Joell Ortiz still looks like a pie magnet. See http://www.three21media.com/content/?page_id=293.

Comment by Bunta Sugawara 01.04.08 @

word!
but the battle ain’t lost.
i vote for beanie.
he’s gettin real fat.
hope joell’s gain weight.
we need more supersized mc’s.

Comment by swordfish 01.04.08 @

..Who said Lord Finesse ate all the dumplings(??).

Comment by P.M.ES 01.04.08 @

There are still pudgy MC’s out there

Comment by Jaz 01.04.08 @

^ Not nearly enough in my opinion. Joell still has a way to go before he needs to get removed from his house with a crane though.

Comment by Robbie 01.04.08 @

I always noticed the irony in how Overweight Pooch’s name kinda translated to “Fat Bitch”. Har!

Comment by fosterakahunter 01.04.08 @

beanie segal is stepping up the fat man qouta. Only he seems to be getting worse.

And Raekwon, while always fat, now just sounds fat.

Comment by bbatson 01.05.08 @

RIP FAT PAT, BIG MOE, BIG HAWK, & PIMP C

Comment by BR 01.05.08 @

It doesn’t matter how much weight KRS drops, he’ll never slim down that ego

…or his gigantic fuckin’ nose

Comment by Drew Huge 01.07.08 @

ha ha…some people hate being black. my favorite quote from krs aimed at nelly who had just sed sumthing similar to him while they were battling on the radio….
“My nose comes from a long line of kings
While your acne comes eating the wrong things”

ha ha…let that marinate…KRS still goat…

Comment by MERCILESZ 01.07.08 @

“…or his gigantic fuckin’ nose” lol..
Head the size of London Bus, brain the size of a pine nut, or something smaller.

Black is Black is..u know the rest….

Comment by P.M.ES 01.07.08 @

“Head the size of London Bus, brain the size of a pine nut, or something smaller.”

…and im not talkin about KRS..hmm

Comment by P.M.ES 01.07.08 @

I LIKE THE TOPIC…IM A BIG MAN MYSELF SO I FELT I HAD TO CHIME IN!

IF U WANNA TALK ABOUT SUPER-OBESE CATS WHO’S STILL RAPPIN–FAT JOE COMES TO MIND, GUERILLA BLACK FADED AWAY AFTER 1 SEMI-HIT, AND GORILLA ZOE IS A DECENTLY SIZED BIG MAN–NO HOMO…

BUT UNLIKE IN THE PAST,WHEN PUN WAS SNATCHIN THE MOON OUT THE SKY AND BLOWIN THE SUN AWAY, AND BIG WAS IN THE HOT TUB WIT A TOWEL OVER HIS TITTIES MACKIN IT ‘SO RIDICULUZZ, THESE FAT GUYS NOWADAYS AINT BRINGIN SHIT TO THE TABLE.

FAT JOE, AINT SPITTIN NUTTIN NEW–ALTHOUGH HE’S A BX NATIVE, AND I LOVE WHAT HE’S DOIN FOR BORICUAS-HE’S STILL MAKIN THE REFERENCES TO KRILLZ AND DRUGS JUS LIKE HE’S BEEN DOIN FOR 10 YEARS–LIKE—MY NIGGA,DIDNT YOU MAKE MONEY?? WHY R U STILL SELLIN DRUGS??? GROW UP

WE COULDA DEFINITELY MADE A CASE FOR STYLES P BEFORE HE STARTED LOSIN WEIGHT, AND ESPECIALLY FOR BEENIE SIGZ, THATS A BIG DUDE–BUT, NONE OF THEM WOULD BE CONSIDERED “FAT RAPPERS” BY ANY STRETCH OF THE IMAGINATION.

BUT NONE OF BIG DUDES RAPPIN AINT HOLDIN IT DOWN LIKE THE BIG DUDES OF THE PAST WERE..
AND JOEL ORTIZ IS DEFINITELY A PIE MAGNET LOL

Comment by BIG HEC 01.07.08 @

Fat rap may be dead but rap about Fat girls is just beginning. My crew The Chubby Chasers are the Kings of Big Girl rap. Check us out at http://www.myspace.com/thechubbychasers

PEace

Comment by D-Form 01.07.08 @

i’d have to say that emcees sound better rapping while fat because it gives them more bass in their voices, i think one dude still rockin it in a big way is vinny paz, guy is pretty large with fists that look like thick cut steaks, i think we need to bring the trans fat rapper back

Comment by gstatty 01.07.08 @

When it comes to plus-sized emcees, look no further than Little Brother.

Them dudes right thurr got a stage show that’ll give you your money’s worth…plus some. Trust.

and their big-bonededness ain’t goin’ nowhere; them’s North Carolina boys! You KNOW they love to eat!

And “Getback”? One of 2007′s best.

Comment by Nonchalant Misfit 01.07.08 @

fat folk just look dumb, obsessive and lacking in self control to me. i judge ‘em this way until they prove otherwise. which they often do, but i’m typically bigoted and opinionated. i’m sure they care what i think.. f’eh.

rap is about the sound anyways, bitches caught up in the look are usually a complete waste of time and should stick to vogue and fashion week runway action.

who said rap couldn’t be dumb?

Comment by Tiny Tyrant 01.09.08 @

Rick Ross!! Not that I like the shit he makes but he seems to be making BIG moves in the states… Anyone seen that Guru Slum Village clip? When did Guru start smoking crack?….

Comment by Bane the carny 01.09.08 @

probably when he found alcohol didn’t do the trick no more…

Comment by the average man 01.12.08 @

mf doom is pretty chunky monkey

Comment by gstatty 01.15.08 @

Killer Mike!! Bizarre!! um…Eminem.. ahh ME Yo!!

Comment by Bane the carny 01.23.08 @

Heatha B was fat when I laid pipe, not to mention Rage’s colossal ass, yo Bane the Fairy lick balls with your references! When did you start listening to rap??? after Detroit first learned about a Birch reduction? I’m drunk but those bitches in HWA had some ass too.. what about super southern fat asses like Project Pat, remember how 45 king wouldn’t let himself be photographed in the Source???, diamond d is juicy to the limit… I love peepin the diff between Lord Finesse early patterson proj vs. the latest joint addin’ weightage… Hurricane from Davy D’s afrolistic posse was thick yo.. Russel Simmons told him the classic, “You are growing a tombstone over your dick…” as told by Mike D.. not to mention, while we on honks and tonks the mighty HAYSTACK from (is it?) Mississippi? Fat muhfuckers abound yo

Comment by Dunkyfuckemface 01.26.08 @

So dial 1-900-55-eat-shit
I pack a twelve shot nine mil and yes I still kick
(What) ass like a jockey (height) 6’3″ and stocky
(Rap name) not Balboa, so motherfuck Rocky

He wasn’t even the fat guy still reppin stocky!!!

Comment by Jus Stupid 01.26.08 @

It’s called ‘cocaine,’ people… sheesh.

Comment by it's Kwest, son 01.28.08 @

It appears fat rap has died with Bone Crushers career (thank you thank you I’m here all week)

Comment by Haze3 01.28.08 @

GRASSO E’ BELLO!

http://www.myspace.com/ibcc

Comment by Proff 02.21.08 @

Fat Rap isn’t dead, it’s just underground. I know best since I am a part of it. Not only am I fat, I am also white. Check out my music to be amazed. You wouldn’t expect this level of lyricism. But I have it.

Comment by HurrIcanE 07.18.10 @



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