The Return of Rapsloitation
Tuesday July 01st 2008,
Filed under: Not Your Average,Print Work,Run-DMC kinda sucked,The Unkut Opinion
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If you’ve ever had the misfortune of having to sit through Breakdance 2: Electric Boogaloo, Rappin’ or even Posse, then get ready for more cinematic horrors in the not-too-distant future. Yeah, you guessed it – they started shooting the effin’ Biggie Smalls movie. After holding a nation-wide audition for the lead, the producers (I’m assuming Lil’ Cease is on as “creative consultant”) decided on Gravy, who – as luck would have it – just happens to be a fat rapper from Brooklyn. Actually, he was pretty much a shoe-in for the role months ago, but I’m guessing the auditions were some type of pointless publicity stunt. The point being – does anybody actually think this movie will be any good? Previous Rapsloitation flicks like Krush Groove at least had some live performances to distract us from the cheesy acting, and Beat Street had that dude who bit a can in half. Do you really need to see a young B.I.G. discovering that life as a shorty shouldn’t be so rough on the mean streets of Bed-Stuy before finding rap stardom, ugly Italian jumpers and finally getting his end in a dame with a blonde weave?

For all you ’80s fanatics, there have also been some reports that fruits like Cuba Gooding Jr. had been cast in the role of Engineer-All Star Marley Marl, and David Banner was to play Biz Markie in the Juice Crew flick! I doubt we’ll see this movie for another five years, but I’m sure that when The Vapors is finally made I’ll be first in line to see how badly it tells the story of how Big Daddy Kane, MC Shan and Roxanne Shante got their start. As long as Mario Van Peebles isn’t involved, I’m good. Admittedly, Paid In Full was pretty awesome despite not being an actual movie about rap, but if you ever peeped the back cover of Eric B. & Rakim‘s first album you know the deal (plus it good to see Cam’Ron making himself useful for a change). As for 8 Mile and Get Rich Or Die Trying? Blame them for this new wave of hip-hop themed films. OK, maybe not much Curtis’ caper. It’s only a matter of time before Kanye gives us his autobiographical magnum opus, although I suspect it will be closer to Tougher Than Leather or Cool As Ice than Style Wars. Here’s hoping the Black Eyed Peas get signed on for a remake of the Fat Boy‘s comedy vehicle Disorderlies.

Video: A tribute to the greatest rap movie evah:

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6 Comments so far
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i spoke to azie last week, he’s working on a Mob Style flick.

Comment by richdirection 07.01.08 @

“A rebel outcast . . searching for true love”

I can remember my sister watching this cheez on a Saturday morning. But I can’t remember why.

The Juice Crew flick looks like it’ll suck big time, noo matter which rappers are gonna portray which rappers.

Comment by Jonny Roxwell 07.01.08 @

there’s a difference between Rapsploitation and a biopic – unless of course you categorize any film that is about rap as Rapsploitation.

If that’s the case then we’re still working through Blacksploitation…

Comment by Nathan Smart 07.01.08 @

Any Seeborn & Puma movies coming up.
As for the legend T La Rock, he’s been banging on about that movie of his life for the last 10 years. It’s like the Chinese Democracy of straight to TV movies

Comment by Drew Huge 07.01.08 @

Paid In Full = g.o.a.t. Cam’Ron should do a whole life of Alpo/Rico franchise.

Let’s not forget it also includes DJ Brucie B, Doug E. Fresh, a mock-up of The Rooftop and a Noreaga cameo.

Not to mention a soundtrack which included both Gangster Shit by Mobstyle and In The Air Tonight by Phill Most Chill Collins.

Like i said, the g.o.a.t.

Comment by brian beck from wisconsin 07.01.08 @

Tougher Than Leather still has my vote for smashing performances:
Junkyard Band (their only movie performance besides DC Cab)
Run-DMC- beats to the rhyme and Mary,mary (coked the fuckout)
Beastie Boys (Desperado)
Slick Rick-Treat Her Like A Prostitute
and the Mike D. quote: “Did he tell you about his rash?”
and Jam Master Jay explaining to Runny Ray how he wants the fried fish patty laced up in his Big Mac or something.

Recent exploitive rap cameo that I wasn’t aware of until I watched the movie and then was pleasantly surprised: Ghostface at the end of Walk Hard, Pretty Tony saved an otherwise pretty shitty movie. Better than Chali Tuna in Never Been Kissed.Ha!

Comment by ScubaHoodedFuneral 07.02.08 @

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