The Ten Twitter Commandments

I been in this game for months, now I’m an A.D.D. animal
It’s rules to this shit, I wrote me a manual
A step by step booklet for you to get
your Twitter game on track, don’t Wale yourself Jack
Rule nombre uno: let everyone know
every efin’ thing you do, cause you know
Hundreds of followers breed jealousy ‘specially
if that update fucked up, suck your teeth up
Number two: never let em know your next move
Twitterati hate silence but heart text violence
Eat a dick hipster rappers (uh-huh)
I done typed mad updates while driving state to state
Number three: never trust no-bo-dy
Your moms’ll follow ya Tweets, that’s type corny
PR’s spam ya shit, for that fast buck
try to game a dame to tear that ass up
Number four: know you heard this before
Name-dropping is frontin’, shit’s a straight bore
Number five: never Tweet about biz in the street
I don’t care if it sounds tough, someone’ll call ya bluff
Number six: that god damn phone credit, dead it
If you’re not on unlimited browsing then forget it,
Seven: this rule is so underrated
Keep your blog and Twitter account completely seperated
Updates and posts don’t mix like two dicks and no bitch
Find yourself in serious shit
Number eight: never reveal your plans to you-know-who
Them cats that follow your feed can start blogs too
Number nine shoulda been number one to me
If you’re drunk out your mind stay off the updates homey (uh-huh)
If Twitters think you lyin’, they ain’t buyin’
They be sittin on your RSS, waitin to text more mess
Number ten: a strong word called obsession
Twitter will get you hit by a bus at the intersection
Tap out the Crackberry while you crossing the street
Facebook lost, that dame shit can’t even compete, uhh

Unkut @ Twitter

Doo-Wop – ‘Ten Tape Commandments’

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18 Comments so far
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That was SOOOO funny. This is my first time on your site. That pulled me in. Peace and Love.

Comment by BibatheDiva 01.23.09 @


Comment by VEe 01.23.09 @

That was aight. but the TEN SLUT COMMANDMENTS is much more choice….

Comment by josh college 01.23.09 @


Comment by B-Double 01.23.09 @

you may have violated rule #7 with this post

Comment by eric 01.24.09 @

^ I struggle with #9 too.

Comment by Robbie 01.24.09 @

You are totally on point! Good tip for the blog twitter linkage! That gets pretty annoying.

Word up on the drunken twits..twitpic + girls + tits = tons of follows though!

Comment by Dj RaYz 01.25.09 @

UnKut is just on a higher level than the rest of you mark ass blogs

Comment by DP 01.25.09 @


Comment by Enigmatik 01.25.09 @

F*cking classic!

Comment by 911 01.25.09 @


Comment by Mookie 01.25.09 @

Uh oh…
You actually did it…


Comment by Trem One 01.25.09 @

Agree with the Willie D record. Put the Fuckin’ Gun Away is my shit !

Comment by hxc 01.26.09 @

Hahahaa! Hilarious!

Comment by PBG aka The Notorious C.A.T. 02.03.09 @

Hilarious! Number 4 is the truth for real, it is one of my biggest pet peeves….

Comment by Naturally Alise 02.03.09 @

I was sent here by PBG, unfortunately I can’t understand what you are saying. This is a hard read, maybe you can post background music for ebonically-challenged folks like myself…………..A beat may help me to get it

Comment by jsherylle 02.03.09 @

Relevant Rap shit

Comment by Ness 02.18.09 @

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