Filed under: Crates,Features,Not Your Average,Old Moufs,The Unkut Opinion
Written by: Robbie Ettelson
Back when you actually had to pay for new music, a trip to your local record spot was fraught with danger. Not so much in the sense of getting your new Nikes snatched off of your feet, but something much more serious – wasting you’re dough on a bullshit tape! Before the internets allowed us to download, listen and delete every two-bit rap release, you were flying blind for the most part, with only a handful of record reviews and the production credits on the back to guide you as to what to cop. And as a result, I ended-up with a fair few albums that can only be described as hot garbage. Allow me to open the shame file:
Fu-Schnickens - This seemed like some next shit when it dropped. Pre-Wu Tang kung-fu movie samples, some Tribe Called Quest/Black Sheep beats and guest spots and super-fast rapping? Then Das-EFX dropped and did the cartoon rap style a billion times more effectively, leaving the Fu’s with no other option than to make a song with Shaq-Fu. Fuck you, 1991!
Lords of the Underground - I heard a couple of tracks from Here Come The Lords on the radio with some knockin’ beats from K-Def and Marley Marl, so I was all over this like white on rice. Once i popped into the Sony, I was assaulted by some of the most irritating, high-pitched yelping to ever pass for rapping, as dope track after dope track was ruined by the vocals. Mr. Funkee? Really? The most shameful thing about the whole incident is the fact that I forgot all about it and bought the second album the next year….SMH.
Monie Love - I only paid a dollar for this tape on the strength of some early Beatnuts work but that doesn’t make it right.
Cappadonna - Buzzed off ’97 Mentality’, I got home with an album of RZA weed carrier productions and rambling verses from Cappa, and sold-off The Pillage immediately.
Jungle Brothers - J Beez Wit the Remedy was the beginning of the end. It had a couple of joints, but it was a warning that in a couple of years these one-time rap stalwarts would be making euro-dance crossover music and ‘experimenting’ in a whole bunch of other ways.
Blackstarr - This is a classic to some, but trash to my ears. Talib was trying to fit too many words into one breath, and Shawn J. Period‘s ‘sample-free’ beats weren’t shit compared to his work on Mos Def‘s first single.
Arabian Prince - Brother Arab The fact that NWA kicked him out of the group should have tipped me off, but I got fooled by the classic Hendrix sample he used on ‘Let The Good Times Roll’. My bad.
OK, I have to stop now before I go and punch a hole in the wall. A quick survey around the place also saw these mentioned by other folk in the Hall of Shame:
Da Youngsta’s Illy Funkstaz - I’ll Make U Famous
Das Efx - Generation Efx
OC - Bon Apetit
Ma$e - Welcome Back
Kool Moe Dee - Interlude
Nas - Nastradaumus
Rah Digga - Dirty Harriet
Whats’ the worst album you ever paid for?
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