Filed under: Forgotten Beefs,Not Your Average,Old Moufs,Sizzle-chest,Steady Bootleggin',The Unkut Opinion,Ya Moms
Written by: Robbie Ettelson
Predictably, my comment the other day that LL ‘never lost a battle’ ruffled a few feathers among Canibus fans. LL vs. Kool Moe Dee was already covered a while back, but I guess there’s no other way to settle this than to dig out all the garbage songs recorded in this drawn-out and unsatisfying war of words.
LL Cool J feat. Redman, Method Man, Canibus & DMX – ‘4,3,2,1’
You think LL was shady because he got ‘Bis to change his rhyme and then kept his attack on there? How dumb was Canibus to think it was gonna end any other way? It was LL’s album, he can do the fuck he wants.
Canibus – ‘2nd Round K.O.’
This song is incredibly overrated by the intehnets. Canibus comes off like a butt-hurt fan despite throwing a couple of amusing lines out there. Tyson on this is jokes.
LL Cool J – ‘The Ripper Strikes Back’
Starts off all over the place, but the second verse starts addressing the jabs from ‘2nd Round’ pretty effectively. The shit about rapping at proms and looking like a gargoyle is pretty funny, but the wack music (‘Tunnel banger’? Really?) and Scream Rap delivery lets down the team.
Wyclef – ‘Retaliation (What’s ‘Clef Got To Do With It?)’
Wyclef must’ve been really bored, or really high…or really border and really high when he made this bullshit. Weak sauce like that ‘super-model’ cameo at the end.
LL Cool J – ‘Rasta Impasta’
Uncle L and gun-talk is not a good combination. Didn’t we learn anything from 14 Shots To The Dome? This is only marginally less shitty than ‘Clef’s song…just. The ad-libs at the end are just retarded…’I like reggae’?
Canibus – ‘Rip The Jacker’
A few years later, Canibus gets DJ Battlecat to remake ‘I’m Bad’ so he can say the same shit again, and admit he’s a Stan? Fuckouttahere.
LL Cool J feat. Ja Rule – ‘Back Where I Belong’
Why did LL bother making another answer? Just to tell us that ‘Bis is Canadian? Stop it.
Redman, Method Man & Canibus – ‘4,3,2,1’ [original take]
With the ‘Let me borrow it’ line that started this whole fuckery.
Dr. Dre & LL Cool J- ‘Zoom’
Third verse gets at the gargoyle, if you can last that long.
Verdict: If nothing else, I’ve been reminded of just how weak this whole feud was. Canibus didn’t really do any major damage, but I guess everyone was amazed that someone would bother making an LL diss in the late 90’s. LL should have stopped after ‘The Ripper Strikes Back’…or maybe would have been better-off just ignoring the whole thing since he it was all downhill after the ‘4,3,2,1’ attack. And as for Wyclef’s attack? Shit was so ineffective that it’s hardly worth including. Regardless, nobody can be declared a clear winner in this embarrassing cluster-fuck…so therefore it’s another battle that LL didn’t lose.
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