Filed under: Announcements,Conservative Rap Coalition,Not Your Average
Written by: Robbie Ettelson
Logo designed by Tony Bones / The Home Office.
Tired of being labeled as ‘stuck in the 90’s’? Do you find a lot of new rap too emo? Do you have no idea what a Kid Cudi or a Drake is? Then the Conservative Rap Coalition may be for you! Here at the CRC, we strive to find the best in non-progressive, raw rap shit – preferably free of sing-song hooks, keyboards and tight jeans. Far from being stuck in the past, the CRC appreciates that there is always dope rap music being made somewhere, and is dedicated to tracking down the kind of stuff that makes you want to punch your mom in the ovaries. The CRC believe that the term ‘boom-bap’ is almost as played-out as ‘swagger’. We follow hard drums and tight flows, but don’t fux with Jurrassic 5. Lyrical content doesn’t have to based around ignorant and anti-social themes, but it just so happens that most of the good shit happens to be along those lines. We enjoy the simple pleasures of vinyl, but accept that the compact disc is also an essential format. Digital only? Not so much. We stopped listening to rap from LA after The Chronic, and the only hip-hop from the South that we rep post-1994 is Devin The Dude and Scarface.
The Platinum CRC membership pack (RRP $1,200.00) comes with following:
– A personalized voice-mail message from DJ Premier.
– A bronze plaque with the complete lyrics of the 6 minute version of ‘Rock The Bells’ inscribed on it.
– 1 signed photo of the original Flavor Unit.
– An OG Purple Tape, complete with a Sony Megabass walkman.
– A packet of White Owls, Phillie Blunts or Dutch Masters.
– A case of Olde English malt liquor.
– Two copies of ‘Peter Piper’ on vinyl.
– An original pressing of Main Source‘s Breaking Atoms on CD.
– A can of Rustoleum spray paint.
– 1 Carhartt jacket.
– 2 Champion hooded tops.
– 1 pair of army pants.
– Your choice of a pair of OG LE white leather Air Max 90‘s with black swoosh or classic construction-style Timberland‘s.
– A miniature SP-1200 keyring.
– A full-size replica of the Biz puppet from the ‘Me & The Biz’ video, last seen at the ego trip offices.
The Conservative Rap Coalition isn’t scared of change – we just don’t like too much of it. We understand that rap is forever a young man’s game, but don’t accept that some of these kid’s just don’t know any better. We believe that personalized ring-tones are unacceptable for any man over the age of 16, don’t trust people who don’t drink and consider anybody who owns more than two belts to be a fruit. Rap hasn’t been perfected yet. Keep trying.
Who’s with us?
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