Introducing The Conservative Rap Coalition
Wednesday December 02nd 2009,
Filed under: Announcements,Conservative Rap Coalition,Not Your Average
Written by:


Logo designed by Tony Bones / The Home Office.

Tired of being labeled as ‘stuck in the 90’s’? Do you find a lot of new rap too emo? Do you have no idea what a Kid Cudi or a Drake is? Then the Conservative Rap Coalition may be for you! Here at the CRC, we strive to find the best in non-progressive, raw rap shit – preferably free of sing-song hooks, keyboards and tight jeans. Far from being stuck in the past, the CRC appreciates that there is always dope rap music being made somewhere, and is dedicated to tracking down the kind of stuff that makes you want to punch your mom in the ovaries. The CRC believe that the term ‘boom-bap’ is almost as played-out as ‘swagger’. We follow hard drums and tight flows, but don’t fux with Jurrassic 5. Lyrical content doesn’t have to based around ignorant and anti-social themes, but it just so happens that most of the good shit happens to be along those lines. We enjoy the simple pleasures of vinyl, but accept that the compact disc is also an essential format. Digital only? Not so much. We stopped listening to rap from LA after The Chronic, and the only hip-hop from the South that we rep post-1994 is Devin The Dude and Scarface.

The Platinum CRC membership pack (RRP $1,200.00) comes with following:

– A personalized voice-mail message from DJ Premier.
– A bronze plaque with the complete lyrics of the 6 minute version of ‘Rock The Bells’ inscribed on it.
– 1 signed photo of the original Flavor Unit.
– An OG Purple Tape, complete with a Sony Megabass walkman.
– A packet of White Owls, Phillie Blunts or Dutch Masters.
– A case of Olde English malt liquor.
– Two copies of ‘Peter Piper’ on vinyl.
– An original pressing of Main Source‘s Breaking Atoms on CD.
– A can of Rustoleum spray paint.
– 1 Carhartt jacket.
– 2 Champion hooded tops.
– 1 pair of army pants.
– Your choice of a pair of OG LE white leather Air Max 90‘s with black swoosh or classic construction-style Timberland‘s.
– A miniature SP-1200 keyring.
– A full-size replica of the Biz puppet from the ‘Me & The Biz’ video, last seen at the ego trip offices.

The Conservative Rap Coalition isn’t scared of change – we just don’t like too much of it. We understand that rap is forever a young man’s game, but don’t accept that some of these kid’s just don’t know any better. We believe that personalized ring-tones are unacceptable for any man over the age of 16, don’t trust people who don’t drink and consider anybody who owns more than two belts to be a fruit. Rap hasn’t been perfected yet. Keep trying.

Who’s with us?

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50 Comments so far
Leave a comment

I’m in, just so I can get a Biz puppet.

Comment by Gotty™ 12.02.09 @

Let us rise to the call of rap-loving blood that is in us and send our answer to the tyranny that clanks its chains from the South. In the name of the greatest form of music that has ever originated from this earth, I draw the line in the dust and toss the gauntlet before the feet of tyranny . . . and I say timberlands today, timberlands tomorrow, timberlands in the summer and timberlands forever

Comment by thrillhouse 12.02.09 @

Making the members’ cards today.

Comment by Tony 'Bones' Harrison 12.02.09 @

haha, ingenious! i’m in it for that case of old E.. timboots & army gear baby!

Comment by hanDJob 12.02.09 @

Short of the Primo voice mail and the “Rock The Bells” plaque, it is almost as if the CRC membership pack was taken straight out my bedroom closet.

Where do I send my check?

Comment by skinnyjoe 12.02.09 @

Add in a Starter Giants cap and I’m signing up.

Comment by End Level Boss 12.02.09 @

word im in, ill send you the money next giro date.

Comment by tareq 12.02.09 @

only 12 hunnit for all of that?

Comment by ENIG MUE 12.02.09 @

Im in, where do I send my check?

Comment by chima 12.02.09 @

I’ll wait until you throw in some Das EFX Halloween costumes, and then I’ll sign up.

Comment by CENZI 12.02.09 @

Can we get a replica Slick Rick dookie rope w/ Jesus piece? That’s the only missing piece and then I’m in.

Comment by J Smalls 12.02.09 @

No St. Ides?!? Throw it in, i’m in.

Comment by dj blendz 12.02.09 @

Throw in one of the clocks that Flavor Flav wore in the “Night of the Living Bassheads” video, one of EPMD’s fisherman hats, the pen Nas used to write his “words past the margin” and the actual Tom Scott record Pete Rock used to make “T.R.O.Y.” and I’m in, word is bond (yeah it’s almost 2010 and I STILL say word is bond. And what?!!!!!)

Comment by oskamadison 12.02.09 @

I listened to my tape of Mega’s The True Meaning in a Sony Megabass Walkman on my walk to work this morning. Can I get a discount?

Comment by sean g 12.02.09 @

i was gonna add a starter raiders jacket [parka style] needless to say i got taxed for mine in rochester when i was 16…

Comment by er4se 12.02.09 @

i want in. and a pair of poppa large glasses.

Comment by swordfish 12.02.09 @

Fuck yeah!!! Finally something useful to spend my savings on!!! I want, I want, I want!!!!

Comment by Crisis 12.02.09 @

A Walker Wear or Helly Hansen jacket would’ve made this complete.

-D!

Comment by DANJ! 12.02.09 @

I want a mini-me version of Sticky Fingaz complete with permanent screw face and I am in. I could buy a lot of St Ides 2 for $3 40s with that money…

Comment by BIGSPICE 12.03.09 @

The CRC is gonna keep Hip-Hop alive. Not like that Kid Cudi song ‘Alive’ which only fruits listen to.

Comment by Dallas 12.03.09 @

haha I’d like a ‘How to box like Big Daddy Kane’ promo DVD. The work he puts on that speedball in the ‘Aint No Halfstepping’ video had the heavywieght division shook!

Comment by Hooligan 12.03.09 @

Where do I sign in?
A discount for a Pete Nice haircut for a white boy like me would be good as well.

Comment by Antonio 12.03.09 @

In posession of personally signed artifacts by RUN DMC, Masta Ace & Cypress Hill.

Awaiting membership card ASAP.

Comment by Question Marc 12.03.09 @

I’m defo in.

Comment by jussihie 12.03.09 @

too good to be true

Comment by deskreet 12.03.09 @

IN

Comment by COOLRAOUL 12.03.09 @

I’m in. Lemme pay you when the new
Dr. Dre album finally appears.

Comment by brutalLee 12.03.09 @

damn, i gotta champion hoodie on right now, oh and strawberry swishers and peach optimos please, oh and what about ugk, them cats (r.i.p. pimp c) can rap, and i love me some geto boys, forget the rest, otherwise, i’m not only a client i’m the crc president

Comment by gstatty 12.03.09 @

I always wanted to be able to say I’m conservative about something! I’m in.

/tucks jeans into socks

Comment by digglahhh 12.03.09 @

Perfect for aging east coast elitists!!
just throw in a 91′ Acura Legend with 220000 miles with a radio that plays tapes of course lol

Comment by setrule 12.03.09 @

I’m in, but I’m gonna need a Raider’s hat circa 1989.

Comment by Bug 12.03.09 @

setrule i gotta 90 coupe wit 140 on it….maybe i can make a donation…ha ha

Comment by money mercilesz 12.03.09 @

can we replace the Olde English with Jameson?

Comment by Legend 12.03.09 @

Seeing these comments almost brings a tear to my eyes. Hip-Hop really isn’t dead…

Comment by oskamadison 12.03.09 @

prepares to write check out immediately….

Comment by BIG D O 12.03.09 @

son, throw in an official set of BK gold fronts, not that grill bullshit and I’m in….

Comment by esteeminatti 12.03.09 @

@ Tony Bones. Memberships cards. Hit us up when they”re done. I want to rock one at work. Nothing like representing whilst waiting tables at a semi-posh hotel!!!!!!

Comment by Crisis 12.04.09 @

I’ll throw in an extra $100 for a bottle of St. Ides and a pair of 40 below Timbs.

Comment by BrooklynShoeBabe 12.04.09 @

This is the funky freshest post of the year. And oh, of course I am down.

Comment by ceedub 12.04.09 @

Throw in a Phillie and nickel bag of dirtweed and Im in

Comment by keatso 12.04.09 @

ya’ll got some funny shit in this thread!
Throw in a 3XDope Halfro wig
-Big Daddy Kanes robe from Prince of Darkness cover
-Assortment of 20th year Anniversary Le coq Sportif Jazzy Jeff and Fresh Prince gear
-Willie Dee ringtones
-an African medallion
-blow up doll of Ice-T’s old lady Darlene

*Replica Roxanne Shante door knockers available for the skeezers

Jay Electronica is the future

Comment by Ol Otis 12.05.09 @

I hate to break it to ya’ll, but hip hop is dead. You can get however many new dudes trying to kick an old sound, or old dudes trying to keep the old sound on new records, but the music and culture will never work the way it once did. Its time to enjoy your old records for what they are or just get into some different music.

Comment by son... 12.09.09 @

YES, hallelujah! How do I get the Diamond membership package!

Comment by YouAreSleeping 12.15.09 @

I hate to break it to ya’ll, but hip hop is dead.
^ Awwww! Damn.. *starts sobbing uncontollably*

Comment by chronwell 12.20.09 @

lol@the sticky fingaz figure

i already got a Primo shout on my phone when duke came down to spin.

throw in a pair of Cella Dwellaz hockey jerseys
OG copy of Ultimate Force – Im Not Playing LP
BENZEETO plates for the ride.

anotha summa

Comment by TonyStarks83 12.21.09 @

Sign me up…You need to include Show & Ag’s first album, and a train pass…lol, This is why, even though im no DJ, I make my own damn mixtapes, with my kind (our kind) of music.

Chek out my latest one here http://usershare.net/jhvce36n5yd6

Its called Free(the)Dumb, DJ Shawamar..Let me know what y’all think.

Comment by shawamar 12.22.09 @

Man, I’m from Brazil, but i breath USA’s RAP..I agree with you…Drake and Kid Cudi is enough emo for me…LOL…..

Check this shit out…2 MC’S of your country that keep it fucking real….DOPE!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVdhSFn-f_U

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUBxS5yxGTA

No skinny jeans and no auto tune!

Comment by TRIPS 08.14.10 @

funny…but there is a danger with this sort of satire that the past becomes trivialised as a joke…or do I just not have a sense of humour

Comment by Tom Dice 08.15.10 @

As an addendum to the CRC Constitution, I propose a mandatory moratorium on both the 808 clap and snare and the pitched 808 snare rolls in all of rap music. Are we not men?

Comment by Flashius 12.26.12 @

[…] A concept album about BBW (Big Beautiful Women) porn stars released on Robbie from Unkut’s Conservative Rap Coalition Records. Cole’s story is a bit of a rags to…well maybe not riches tale, but he has certainly turned […]

Pingback by Cole James Cash Interview » Bonafide Magazine 11.19.14 @



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