Six Reasons Why Rap Is Gonna Suck In 2010…
Tuesday December 29th 2009,
Filed under: Not Your Average,Sizzle-chest,The Unkut Opinion
Written by:

1. Rappers With Feelings – Who told all these Leaders Of The N00b School rappers that rhyming about being depressed, lonely and emotionally vulnerable is the what’s hot out on the mean streets of the rap game? Stick to the script, for fucks sake. The only time it’s acceptable to show any sign of emotion is when you’re:

a) Making a song dedicated to your deceased mother/buddy/pet.

b) See above.

2. Rap Fans With Feelings – If you’ve ever declared that you rock a song because it’s ‘uplifting’ or ‘inspirational’ then you may be exhibiting the early signs of being an overly-emotional rap fan. As far as the CRC is concerned, the only valid emotional states that should be displayed on a rap song are aggression, arrogance and cold-as-ice belligerence.

3. Bitch-Ass Cry Babies – The more access I have to the inner-workings of the sick minds behind the microphone, the less respect I have for some of these douchebags. Having to endure every little bitch-made outburst that some of these losers make is painful at the best of times. Here’s a perfect example for all you slow-flow types – Joe Buddens decided to publicly air yet more of his dirty laundry by rehashing some bullshit butt-hurt incident where Jay-Z wanted a boat full of money to rap on the ‘Pump It Up’ remix, but then went and rapped on it on his mixtape. *tears*

4. Gossip Folks – I don’t mind the Wrestlemania Rap antics employed by 50 Cent and ’em – that shit is usually pretty funny – but when I have to wade through an inbox of shit about what rapper has broken-up with which broad (sent by someone called Madame Beef/Mrs. Drama/Mistress Mischief) or some other stupid fuckery, I sometimes throw-up in my mouth a little bit.

5. Corny Voices – Cadence has always played an important part in hip-hop vocals, but its’ tough to choose which is more retarded country-drawl technique that Kanye reps, the Gremlin voice of Lil’ Wayne of that dumb inflection that Eminem employed on Relapse. Come back Fu-Schnickens…all is forgiven!

6. Punk Smoove Rap – With the exception of Cuban Linx 2, how many hardcore hip-hop albums actually sold? Stuff like the Killa Sha & Large Pro album and the Roc Marcy project have been completed for some time according to my sources, but are waiting for the ‘right situation’ before they drop. We could be waiting a long effing time because the Fat Beats/KOCH model doesn’t seem to work anymore. If you don’t have a 75% female fan-base you might as give away your music for free, ‘cos dude’s sure as hell aren’t buying it.

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33 Comments so far
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Comment by Ctrlaltmalik 12.29.09 @

it’s the estrogen in the water these days, i tell ya.

Comment by spotrusherz 12.29.09 @

applaud this man

Comment by Legend 12.29.09 @

2010 might be a good year though. there’s still some folks to check for.

Comment by Legend 12.29.09 @

Dope article buhohoho at the voices…

Comment by Praverb 12.29.09 @

I miss my girl

Comment by Hassle 12.29.09 @

Until rap is featured on a Twilight soundtrack I think we’re going to be fairly safe in 2010.

Comment by Crisis 12.29.09 @

@crisis, pretty sure Lupe had a song on the New Moon soundtrack. Or was that a joke you were making?

Comment by quan 12.29.09 @

HAHAHA thats the trash heap from Fraggle Rock

Comment by keatso 12.29.09 @

@keatso I thought I was the only one that would remember that. It’s a shame but, that Kid Cudi/ Kanye West I need a hug, nobody likes me crap is what’s hot.

Comment by Brooklyn_Lo 12.29.09 @

1. Reason why it won`t suck, MARCBERG the NEW album from Roc Marciano on FatBeats records.. EARLY 2010!!!

Comment by Jazz U.N GANG 12.29.09 @

On point.

Comment by Soltan 12.30.09 @

@Quan. I was intending it to be a serious but also amusing comment.

I can’t say I’ve heard the album, watched the films or even have the slightest interest in Lupe. I suppose it doesn’t really bother me if Lupe if featured on New Moon, being that his target audience would be Twilight fans.

@Jazz U.N. GANG. Can’t wait for that Roc Marcy joint either.

Comment by Crisis 12.30.09 @

sooo glad im a old motherfucker… ahhh memories…

Comment by er4se 12.30.09 @

remember while you obsess about ignorance from your safe distance, if you had to live a ghetto life you might feel different. It ain’t no joke. Hip hop is all about the uplifting. peace, unity, love and having fun. stick to the interviews and putting people onto the good music. Save your wack polls and trying to lay down new law. Real hardrocks are about the balance right now.

Comment by zulugestapo 12.30.09 @

if the rugged man joint and mic tyson will drop in 10 everythings aight for me.

Comment by swordfish 12.30.09 @


Comment by ben profane 12.30.09 @

Another winning post, but let’s not get carried away here. I”m thirty-six and I admit that a lot of the “new” c-rap makes me wanna go M.O.P. on some of these kids, but Bonita Applebum ain’t the hardest hip-hop song ever and trust me when I say that when that song or the remix is played, people go effin crazy.

Comment by Bug 12.30.09 @

you’s an endangered species, son. sounds like your feelings for simple-minded rappers really got offended in 09.

great post!

Comment by Chulee ManSun 12.30.09 @

Ha, I think you made zulugestapo cry.

Comment by End Level Boss 12.30.09 @

i think it always sucks

Comment by dsfsd 12.30.09 @

nothin really to say but I like this record so ima post it……

Comment by money mercilesz 12.30.09 @

Comment by money mercilesz 12.30.09 @

Great post! Last time I spoke to Roc he told me the albums been done, they were just tweaking the mastering. Big Jazz been had it. Marcberg is the golden grail right now. Eyes open for the Timeless Truth x Roc Marcy projects…I gave you fair warning…BEWARE

Comment by SuperBADSolace 12.30.09 @

Ha! his sh!t is 100% ture! Tired of all this emo rap sh!t. We need dudes like M.O.P. Sean P, Ghostface to drop more sh!t. Even when Ghost dropped Wixard of Poetry (An R&B-influenced Album) he still had some hardcore sh!t sprinkled in there.

Comment by BlackDroog 12.31.09 @

Good looking out SuperBADSolace.

Comment by Crisis 12.31.09 @

Marcy will be ill.
I hope the Jay Elec actually drops, too.
I don’t know how people around here feel about that, but dude is nice.

Comment by verge 12.31.09 @

Happy New Year, people! Happy New Year, Robbie! Hopes that rap will NOT suck that much in 2010!!! lol. Peace. Salut frum Rusha!!!

Comment by andrewfromrussia 12.31.09 @

i’d like to see more puppet rap in 2010 a la fraggle rock, i mean lets be real, oscar the grouch is the gulliest

Comment by gstatty 12.31.09 @

you dont know shit about rap. get your knowledge up

Comment by e$ 12.31.09 @

Happy New Year, people! Happy New Year and I am sure it will suck in 2010

Comment by dsfsdgh 12.31.09 @

I’d like to add if I may, that another reason Rap will continue to suck is because NOBODY HAS BALLS ANYMORE IN HIP-HOP!!!!
I know I’m not the only cat that wants somebody to come out and say “FUCK THE SOUTHERN COUNTRY BACK WARDS STYLE OF RAP!!! THAT SHIT IS NOT EVEN HIP-HOP MUSIC!!!
We need a Tim Dog type cat(perhaps more lyrical than Tim was) WHO NEEDS TO DO A “FUCK THE SOUTH” Type of song.
That’s no disrespect to Dudes from the south making Hip-Hop music who aren’t on that bullshit.
I’m putting together a free download lp with an ill story line that’s gonna address that.I have the illest mcs from the east coast and west coast and south on there(no name dropping .I’ve been working on this Lp for way over a yr now.

Comment by DJ DAVITO 01.01.10 @

“The more access I have to the inner-workings of the sick minds behind the microphone, the less respect I have for some of these douchebags.” Cosign. This shit made me crack up. Hilarious, Robbie.

Comment by esto 01.15.10 @

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