Filed under: Not Your Average,Shots Fired,Steady Bootleggin',The Unkut Guide
Written by: Robbie Ettelson
Forget the misty-eyed talk of hip-hop’s ‘Golden Age’ – the 80’s were responsible for more than their fair share of horrible trends in rap music. Here are just some of them….
1. Rap Ballads – Nothing would fuck-up your enjoyment of the latest LP from your favorite MC than the inclusion of a sappy love song. It’s almost as if there was a clause in record contracts back then that stated ‘No Ballad, No Deal!’. What were people thinking? That they might get some spins on the ‘Quiet Storm’ late-night radio shows?
Stetsasonic – ‘Float On’
2. Token Hip-House/New-Jack Swing Songs – Brand Nubian’s One For All managed to perfectly capture the vibe of New York hip-hop at the time, combining Zulu Nation-approved beats with 5% knowledge and cutting-edge rhyme techniques. And then ‘Try To Do Me’ comes on….1
Brand Nubian – ‘Try To Do Me’
Craig G – Turn This House Into A Home
3. Rock-Rap – If you weren’t Run-DMC, then there’s a good chance that your attempt to ‘bring the noise’ with some axe-work on your tracks was more headache-inducing than block-rocking.
Skinny Boys- ‘Cries of the City’
4. Jerri Curls…
5. Endless Answer Records – Do you know how many Roxanne records there are? Eight billion.
7. TV Show Theme Hooks – If I hear one more record from 1985 using Gilligan’s Island, I don’t know what I might do…
MC Chill – ‘Bust This Rhyme’
8. Videos with people pretending to play musical instruments…
9. The Polka-dot Fad – See Above.
10. Fake Raggamuffin – Lick-a-shot at Babylon one time selectah! Blame KRS-One.
JVC Force – ‘Love Line’
- 1. Technically 1990 but still counts.[back]
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