Who Would You Like To Throw Onto The Third Rail?
Tuesday September 06th 2011,
Filed under: Classic Ignorance,Internets,Sizzle-chest,Vote Or Die
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As a rule, I prefer to change up the tried-and-tested hypothetical question of which celebrity you would like to shove into an active volcano with something a little more grimy. Not that Unkut Dot Com is any way, shape or form condoning the killing or causing grievous bodily harm to rappers, producers and deejays, but just for the sake of argument, let us suppose for a second that you were in a position to shove someone like Swizz Beatz in front of a bus without anybody suspecting foul play…who would you choose? Call it natural selection if you will…the culling of the less talented musical individuals for the betterment of our ears.

Don’t hold back now…the Unkut comment section is protected by doctor/patient confidentiality.

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72 Comments so far
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Swizz Beatz. I’ll be there to “console” Alicia.

Comment by Ivan 09.06.11 @

Feeling the positive vibes of this post. Termanology should get Ramo’d. For ruining a string of good joints.

Comment by Gx 09.06.11 @

Fat Joe – Something about him just irks me….

I would also throw Maino, Red Cafe, French Montana, Freaky Zeeky and Uncle Murda onto the rail… They’re all garbage….

Comment by DMac 09.06.11 @

countless current “artists”, from yesteryear…
-ill al & scratch
-all members of BONE
-joe scudda
-doctor ice from utfo
-swollen members

Comment by Mecbar 09.06.11 @

ROBBIE LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Who would I like to drive off a cliff? Let’s see…Ja Rule, 50, Game, Swizz Beats, Soulja Boy, Gucci Mane, Waka Flaka Flame, Nicki Minaj (well, maybe kill the career but spare her. Always good to have ass to look at), LA Reid for turning Def Jam to Delicious Vinyl, Birdman, Yung Berg and when I think of some more, I’ll be back…Oh, and since Biggie been gone for damn near a decade and a half, what use do we really have for Diddy, nah Puffy?

Comment by oskamadison 09.06.11 @

Kanye… and get the train to reverse to make certain

Comment by Dan E Fresh 09.06.11 @

i dont wish death on anyone but lets just say i wouldnt miss eminem or tyler if they dropped off the earth

Comment by JP 09.06.11 @

Without Question: Sean Combs, Puff Daddy, P. Diddy, Piddle Diddems (and whatever else he calls himself) AND any wack rapper that has EVER gone on record saying they intentionally tailor their music specifically for the white, record buying public…would hit the 3rd Rail immediately on top of that motherfucker!

Comment by bboycult 09.06.11 @

ramone for those wackass pieces, and spit would live

Comment by biggist from brooklyn 09.06.11 @

Lil’ Wayne. No question. I actually saw the picture and thought, “Man. I wish that would’ve been Lil’ Wayne.” Then I read the question. Soulja Boy comes in at a close second, but I think he’s gonna be on his way out of the scene pretty soon by his own doing. Weezy needs the nudge. (Did I just say, “Weezy?” BARF!!!)

Comment by The J 09.06.11 @

Kreayshawn or for that matter, anyone who is in or has uttered the words, “I really like the white girl mob”

Comment by Crisis 09.06.11 @

You know what? You can take off everybody from my first comment in exchange for…Solar’s bitch ass!!!

Comment by oskamadison 09.06.11 @

RICK ROSS
weezy
drake
soulja boy
diddy
waka flaka
gucci man
ace hood
white girl mob
lil b
mister fab
messy marv
game
ray j
talib kweli
flo rida
trey songz
keri hilson
lisa raye
ciara
rhianna
(yup get em the fuck outta here!)
eminem
royce the 5’9
david banner
wale
french montana
camron
jim jones
juelz santana
odd future
asher roth
big KRIT
smoke DZA
niggas who use the term swag
the whole YMCMB especially birdman
game
lil zane
lil bow wow
lil whyte
lil scrappy
diamond from crime mob
foxy brown
swag boys or whatever theyre name is…the nigga who sing that tony montana bullshit…him…
sheek louch
jae hood
lex luger
zaytoven
jazzy pha
cool & dre
play n skillz
dj khalad
T pain
pitbull
gunplay
chamillionaire
the teach me how to dougie guys
the who let the dogs out guys
brian pumper the porno guy
lords of the underground
peedi crack
joey jihad
tone trump
quillie mills
mak da maniac
and das efx for extra miggity miggity measure

3rd rail,on MAX,till my wrist cramps…

Comment by QUNYC 09.06.11 @

…and solar bitch ass WORD!

Comment by QUNYC 09.06.11 @

SOLAR
IRV GOTTI
SUGE
DAMON DASH

Comment by TED 09.06.11 @

Peace to QUNYC cuz I agree with all but 5 of your choices. Good shit! Here’s my short list…

Lil “faggit” Wayne, Nikki Minaj, DJ Khaled, Chris Brown, Rick Ross, T-Pain, Gucci Mayne, Drake, Dipset, Pitbull, Sage Francis, Asher Roth, Solar, Souljah Boy.

Comment by Shaun D. aka Wicked 09.06.11 @

My list of clowns who would’ve gotten shoved liked Ramo ala Beat Street style:

Double K for encouraging Ramo to throw up those wackass pieces and lip singing to beat street breakdown.

Doug E Fresh for being filmed with a fucked up jheri curl and a tall can of OE at that house party

Harry Belafonte in trying to convince us that double k rhymed the 1st verse to beat street breakdown

Angela for constructing a baby bassinet over a heater

Ramo (again) for spray painting pictures of appliances (stoves, tv’s) all over his new abandoned apartment.

Rest in peace to SPIT…

Comment by biggist from brooklyn 09.06.11 @

YA’ NEEDS TO CHILL WITH NICKI MINAJ. THAT GIRL GOT TOO MUCH ASS TO BE GETTING THE THIRD RAIL..NOW IF YOU AND YOUR BOYS WANNA RUN A TRAIN ON HER, THEN WHO AM I TO ARGUE.

Comment by QUITDABS 09.06.11 @

Solar

Comment by djbosscrewwrecka 09.06.11 @

@ QUITDABS – I list Nikki Minaj because her music is fuckin GARBAGE and I can’t stand that everyone labels it as Hiphop when it’s just some Pop bullshit. Everyone wanna label everything Hiphop when not everything is Hiphop. Just sayin…

Comment by Shaun D. aka Wicked 09.07.11 @

LMAO!

Comment by QUNYC 09.07.11 @

@Shaun D. aka Wicked
I agree totally! Shes fine to look at hard to listen to, and thats why shes still around if you ask me lol! Commercial hip hop now is just a label to use for pop culture. When a pop geek wants to act hip he says he listens to lil wayne…but probably never heard of juvenile lol! Commercial rap has a get $ & party message so pop culture supports & defends it. Anything other than what pop culture accepts is viewed as underground and somehow full of hatred. And hater anthems are what makes commercial hip hop thrive & maintain an edge. this in turn makes commercial hip hop fans, anti hip hop, and this in turn keeps hip hop divided And unable to reach its potential. The day commercial hip hop stops making millions of dollars is the day its ‘just another fad’ in pop culture. They say you wanna kill a tree you start at the root feel me…

Comment by QUNYC 09.07.11 @

All of the above then piss on them like MCA would.

Comment by farns 09.07.11 @

rick ross the fat fake fuck, pitbull, jay sean, waka flocka flame, probably throw wale, kid cudi, termanology, statik selectah just boring beats and way too many of them, birdman for the tattoo on his head, gucci mane, jim jones, busta rhymes guest verses.

Comment by sg 09.07.11 @

J-Love for shouting through unreleased song
Funkmaster Flex
Trackmasters
Lil Wayne
Pitbull
Game
and many more, would be a great concept for a new song 50 mc’s under a train.

Comment by Fritz 09.07.11 @

EVERYBODY SAY RAMO!

* Jay-Z false media “goat” (sic)

* Laughterhouse battle rao nerd rap heros = four losers with no songs, Joell Ortiz has the worst whining voice in hip-hop, Royce all technique, zero content, etc)

* Action Bronson with his dipshit phony gun play Rick Ross man-tits and yes general weed-makes-us-REALLY-stupid antics

* Dr. Dre and all Dre ghost producers, let us not waste a single more breath or character on this steroid addled douche

* Skyzoo just for being way more arrogant than any mediocre fake Brooklyn has a right to be

* I’d say Maino but he’ll murk himself with utter lack of talent soon enough

* Talib Kweli & Jean Grae ought to go off and get an island together where they can complain complain complain

* I assume 9th Wonder works cheap but how can he produce eight jillion beats and almost none of ‘em have hot drums? He doesn’t make Buckshot solo records better either, alas.

* no talent Termanology gets no respect no matter how ardent his fandom that M.O.P. put him on (even the gods make mistakes)

* All iterations of Sean Combs, inc. “Life After Death,” co-sign

there’s more but this is a start– ZAP!!!

Comment by Cleon 09.07.11 @

Jay-Z…maybe he would rap better. If not, dead it.

Comment by Skinny 09.07.11 @

whoever is dissing Ramo and Double K, fuck you.

Comment by M 09.08.11 @

Black Eyed Peas. But I’d let the live if I am granted no radio or tv stations will play any of their songs EVER.

Comment by ceedub 09.08.11 @

I fucked up on my previous comment but the point is I can’t stand anything Black Eyed Peas do. And thinkin’ about it they even had a decent cut produced by Premier on one of their pre-Fergie albums…

Comment by ceedub 09.08.11 @

Waka Flocka flame or whatever the fucks his name, Gucci mane, Lil Wayne, Rick Ross, Awol-one, Dose one, Common, Yelawolf, A plus, Coolio, MC Hammer, lil mama, drake, black eyed peas, T.I., Nelly, kid rock, Young Jeezy, diddy, consequence, chingy & fabolous. I’m sure I could think of like 30 more but I try to keep bad rappers out of my mind and off my stereo.

Comment by gstatty 09.08.11 @

oh crap, I can’t believe I forgot insufferable Common (who has ZERO fans save guilty ass white editors) and Jeezy, I don’t care who “real” he is in ATL dude is a pox on SOUND, let alone music.

Comment by Cleon 09.08.11 @

I think the mention of Solar pretty much provided the correct answer to this thread.

Comment by Dom 09.08.11 @

cleon’s list wins.

Comment by griz grizzly 09.08.11 @

Any of these unknown, underground cats alot of people think are dope…..

Comment by Since1979 09.08.11 @

But why pick on Solar? Guru loved him, what can you say?

And it’s not like I see any the bum-ass “underground” frauds like Bronson, Joell Ortiz, Mayhem Lauren picking up on Guri’s better legacy, lyrically or musically, not to mention the brain dead version of G. Rap some people here still jock.

Comment by Cleon 09.08.11 @

and it goes a little something like this!!! Jay Z,Kanye Eminems WACK ASS!!!Whitey needs A Hip Hop Hero But Yall Picked The Wrong One!!!! Rick Ross, Lil Wayne & his whole crew,Game,Nas TOO!!(Nigga U Know U Suppose To Have That Shit From Premier!!!)Wiz Khalifa, Wacka Flocka Flame..Change Yo shit to LAME!!!Max B!!! French Montana,Gucci Mane,Soulja Boy. Fuck it All These Clowns Making All The Money On the Radio every fuckin second of the day.U suck!!! oh and Nelly ,Diddy Outkast T.I. TOO. He’s trash also.I could go on for weeks but i wont. Hey Solar U Thought i Forgot U? Nah Nigga U Too!!!

Comment by R.K.M. 09.08.11 @

Bloggers.

Comment by Thebeallendall 09.08.11 @

How about we throw Solar on the third rail, roast marshmellows on his corpse, have Premo DJ the event and have the Gang Starr Foundation perform.
Word!!

Comment by oskamadison 09.09.11 @

mac miller

Comment by fish 09.10.11 @

If you ain’t crunk or dirty south with gold in your mouth then tie yourself to the third rail yer heard me. Basically the whole east coast underground wack backpack rappers.

Comment by Lil B's testicles 09.10.11 @

2pac

Comment by Hassle 09.10.11 @

IMO, this shit should really focus on industry dudes, and snakes like Solar. That’s shit that the public doesn’t have much control over. If you kill the Souljah Boys of the world, the next sucker in line will just pop up to replace him. We can’t kill the sympton, we have to kill the disease. It’s the self professed hip hop fanbase that props up these no-talent rappers and their supports/creates their careers. At this point, I’d just merk 95% of hip hop fans for enabling this bullshit.

Comment by digglahhh 09.10.11 @

Again, why the fuck ya’ll have such a hard-on for Solar? Did he put a gun to Guru’s head? I have no use for dude’s music and maybe he was shady but…

How reliable is Premo at ** anything ** except beats? I’d say not at all and his label track record isn’t too stellar, is it?

Save your scorn for nonsense like Joell Ortiz’s fake nickname or all the dudes we’re supposed to like because they have a lot of Polo shirts or sneakers, not original rhymes or concepts.

Otherwise, Digglahhh, I agree with the analysis; the whole so-called “culture” is corrupt and damn near a total “failure” at this point.

Comment by Cleon 09.10.11 @

@digglahhh thats true. But it would be pretty nice to Souljah Boy on the 3rd rail and that was the question. Or hit by a bus. that vid would get more views than his songs combined.

Comment by gx 09.11.11 @

Angie Martinez for years of giving me headaches. Pitbull can get hit by a “worldwide” train. All of Bone Thugs…… SPIT is the motherfucking man cause he’s based off my boy CAP ONE. “Niggas know!”

Comment by BIGSPICE 09.11.11 @

Yo Cleon, you sound like a fuckin faggit as you seem to defend Solar. The fuck is wrong with your bitchass??? I hope someday someone beats the living shit out of that piece of filth. Word up.

Comment by Shaun D. aka Wicked 09.11.11 @

Soulja Boi would get forced to bite that bitch, “American History X” style. Fozzy Wozzy Bear or whatever the hell his name is would get thrown on that bitch during a thunderstorm. Any of these nonrappin, wack rap writing herbs that brag about not being able to spit and yet are aloud to make bad music because white people think they are funny.

Comment by sipdajuice2011 09.11.11 @

I don’t defend Solar as a musician but a lot clowns wanna rep Guru who ignored or mocked his ass for how long without Gang Starr?

You want to work out your homophobic bullshit on Soloar have at it hot stuff but that also shows your respect for Guru is about ZERO.

Word up, show us your ‘wicked’ cock, jackoff, or raise your game.

Comment by Cleon 09.11.11 @

hahahaha Yeah, I bet you wanna see my “wicked cock”. Fuck Solar! I hope someone LITERALLY pushes him in front of a train. Real talk.

Comment by Shaun D. aka Wicked 09.11.11 @

CLEON AND LIL B’S TESTICLES SHOULD BE THE FIRST ONE KISSING THAT THIRD RAIL IF YOU ASK ME

Comment by QUITDABS 09.11.11 @

^^^^^^^^

FAGGOTS WHO IGNORED GURU FOR TEN YEARS ALIVE BUT LOVE TO ASS RAPE HIS CORPSE TO LOOK “Tough”

Shaun D is just a fucking retard but don’t play yourself DABS, you ain’t always this stupid.

Comment by Cleon 09.11.11 @

Since I moved to Toronto I’ve been disappointed again and again by what acts get on here, but it would be too easy to just say every MC in Canada, soooo…

Special North of The Border Edition :

Drakey Cakes
Maestro (for terrible records and terrible acting on the incredibly gay and aptly named “Metropia”)
K’Naan (supposedly an “African” MC, although it was in Toronto that he suddenly got massive backing from all the media and speaking engagements from the world elite. I had this guy pegged as a bit of an anorexic fruit despite appearing on, and ruining, tracks from the distant relatives lp with Nas & Damian. Friends say he’s a nice guy but his music is the soundtrack to middle class white people feeling guilty and giving money to the U.N.)
Choclair
Saukrates (for forgetting how to rap like he did on ‘innovations’ and cosigning wave after wave of wack new acts)
Classified (just for the impossibly cringe worthy canadian hiphop national anthem track. Oh, and everything else he ever did.)
Moka Only (50+ albums and maybe one or two I can listen to all the way through. MAYBE.)
Madchild (throw him off a ski lift onto a pile of jagged broken snowboards)
D-Sisive (the perfect combination of depressed, fat, white and boring to listen to. Also rocking the plague doctor’s mask in an effort to imitate, gosh, i dunno who…)
Eternia (for not realizing she could have had an actual career by now if she would just show off her unconscionably juicy rack just a little bit more. It might distract from the face.)
A-Trak (talented DJ but posterboy for annoying jewish hipster darling.)
Buck65 (his name is worth more than the price of his life, to me.)
K-OS (initially liked this guy, now he makes hip hop music for candians who don’t like hip hop.)

Oh, and non-musical ’4Real’ douche bag Sol Guy for his shitty TV show and petty one world government pandering with celebs.

Obviously I could go on and on, but would you even know who I’m talking about?

I hope not.

Writing this really raised the question in my mind though; has Canada ever put out any MC actually worth a shit?

Comment by Lair 09.12.11 @

@ CLEON
I NEVER ‘IGNORED’ GURU’S MUSIC POST-PREEMO, UNFORTUNATELY HE HOOKED UP WITH A HORRIBLE PRODUCER (AND A LOT OF PEOPLE IN THE INNER CIRCLE WOULD SAY HORRIBLE PERSON, PERIOD)..LIGHTEN UP CLEON, IT AINT THAT SERIOUS..NOT ON THIS SIDE ANYWAY.

BTW I TOO WOULD LOVE TO SEE MORE OF ETERNIA’S JUICY RACKS, LAIR :)

Comment by QUITDABS 09.12.11 @

I wouldn’t mind if that one dude who kept calling G Rap “Nathaniel” jumped into a volcano….what was his name….White Van McCoy

Ever since that guy started jerking off in the comments unkut has been dead…RIP

Comment by ben profane 09.13.11 @

ALL FEMALE RAPPERS, I mean what man goes out and cops an album from any female rappers. Back in the day I got MC Lytes first two albums, couldnt see myself buying any elses.

Comment by biggist from brooklyn 09.13.11 @

Fabolous would get it too. Just for that smug face he is always posing

Comment by BIGSPICE 09.13.11 @

copywrite, tonedeff, r a rugged man, u god, necro, melachi the nutcracker, nas, andre the giant and krs-one could all fall on that rail without me giving a single fuck.

Comment by chinese ching sniffer 09.14.11 @

fake benny profane yo nathaniel has been trash since ’92 remember when he used to rap about working in a grocery store not the mafia associate he never was

solar is garbage but if nothing else he did bring attention to guru at a time when most people if not QUITDABS ignored him sorry he had to go out like that i spun some jazzmatazz in his honor

third rail goes zap nyc edition

papoose, fab, maino, joell ortiz (was up n coming five years ago, his L train from done went), jay z white media hero/fraud, white rick ross action bronson, all wu-tang ‘killa beez’, foxy brown, jim jones, fucking talib and jean grae, goddamn common when he’s slumming in brooklyn, pumpkinhead (who?)… the list goes on.

Comment by Ejaculation Munson 09.14.11 @

Solar
Waka & Gucci Mane
LA Reid (might have to get it before Solar)
Lil Mama
Tyler Perry
Most southern rappers (cept Luda)
Any NYPD officer
Puffy
All reality show stars!(cept the 1st Real World)
Bill OReilly
CeeLo
All rappers whose name begins with “Lil”

Comment by Jhon da Analyst 09.15.11 @

^^ DOES THAT INCLUDE LIL FAME?

Comment by QUITDABS 09.16.11 @

Im gonna switch gears for a moment and call out some djs

Pauly D
Domination
Whoo Kidd
Big Mike

Comment by dopedude 09.19.11 @

This is the most hating ass site… ppl listing G Rap, Primo, Royce.. SMH

Comment by McNulty 09.19.11 @

So since I put Fab on the list and then Ray J snuffed Fab, now I am putting Ray j on the list for acting hard on the radio. Brandy needs to check her brother…

Comment by BIGSPICE 09.20.11 @

You mutha fuckas are hilarious! My god damn side is hurting off this shit! Thnx!

Zap The Following:
Mac Miller
Eminem
Yelawolf
Keith Murray
Eric Sermon
Bun B
Gucci
Wakka
Kreayshawn
Hip Hop Cop Rick Ross & Affiliates
T.I.
Luda
Game
Jim Jones
Pac Div
big Sean
Slim Thug
Lil Wayne
Masta P
Ying Yang Twins
Trick Daddy
D12
Solar
Consequence
Kanye
Lil Kim
Queen Latifah
Kurupt

..fuck so many more I could skew on the Bar B Que!

Comment by Mr. Twiddlums 09.20.11 @

Master Killer..That guy is a serial killer. He fucked up soo many Wu Tang songs..Then Gucci,Rick Ross,50,D4L, Ying Yang Twins..

Comment by CStyle 09.22.11 @

Dj Preimier and that dumbass Lil Dap
Nas for selling out and go ahead and throw in AZ, Jay-Z, Biggie and 2pac
Rakim for making that wack song with Jody Watley
Big Daddy Kane’s wack ass
The whole Deathrow, Ruff Ryders, RocaFella, Murder Inc, Cash Money, Bad Boy roster.
LL Cool J’s corny ass
Every female rapper. Even that dyke Mc Lyte.
Every rapper turned actor.
Basically Hip Hop after 1984

Comment by Suck it 09.23.11 @

whoever said Cam’ron needs to sit down…or get a sense of humour

Comment by Smear 09.30.11 @

Khaled, Diddy,the whole MMG (except Pill), Big(?[II]) Sean, any femle rapper not named JeanGrae, Fuck this… too many to name.

Comment by Smear 09.30.11 @

@quitdabs….Not Lil Fame and Lil Kim….all the others!

Comment by Jhon da Analyst 11.02.11 @

1) Vanilla ice
2) Mc Hammer
3) Do Do Brown
4) Li’l Wayne
5) Birdman
6) Puffy
7) Mase
8) Luke
9) 50 Cent and G Unit
10)Fabolous
11) 2 Pac
12) St. Lunatics
13) Rick Ross
14) Chingy
15) Missy Elliot
16) Solar
17) Doo Wop
18) Pitbull
19) T Pain
20) Wyclef
21) Ja Rule
22) Memphis Bleek
23) Fat Joe
24) Sir Scratch and K Cut
25) Dru Down
26) Cleon for backing Solar

Comment by Jay 12.02.11 @

some hatin ass mothafuckas…
Talib? Lords? DougE? seriously?

Comment by fuckoffpopmusic 02.16.12 @



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