Hipster Rap Douchebags – Where Are They Now?
Thursday December 13th 2012,
Filed under: Anti-Fudge Rap,Features,Not Your Average,Shots Fired,The Unkut Opinion
Written by:

hipsters 2

It’s been over four years since I labeled a bunch of artist types as Hipster Douchebags. This resulted in lots of angry comments, newspaper articles citing homophobia and a video interview with a visibly hurt Kidz In The Hall. Sweet!

Let us examine what’s happened since then…

Cool_Kids2
The Cool Kids

Hipster Rating: They were briefly signed to A-Trak‘s Fool Gold label, which is the musical equivalent of catching a Catholic priest parked in front of a boy scout hall.

Current Status: They announced they’re parting ways earlier today. Well at least as “The Cool Kids”. They have threatened to record under a different name in the future, most likely to wash-off the stink of being associated with Hipster Rap.

Kanye+West+out+and+about+in+NYC
Kanye West

Hipster Rating: Straddling the realms of “Fashionista” in his leather kilts and “Reality TV Star” with his face time on Kimmy K’s show, it’s safe to safe that ‘Ye has out-grown his not-so-humble Hipster Douchebag roots.

Current Status: Hearting Kim, Collecting Weed Carriers.

Kid-Sister-Nails1
Kid Sister

Hipster Rating: Signed to Fool’s Gold. Nuff said.

Current Status: Hasn’t released anything since 2011. May be working in ‘Frisco-based Pop-Up Shop hawking bad sunglasses for the “party rocking” set.

miaREX_450x250
M.I.A.

Hipster Status: Known to sport every style from: “futurist aerobic instructor to new wave pirate to queenly candy raver” (according to a SPIN piece), no amount of political commentary in her music and critical praise can remove the hipster stench.

Current Status: Signed with Roc Nation management in May, where she joins fellow Hipster Santigold to spread wacky fashion and “progressive” music into the future, or at least get sampled by Jay-Z for free.

lilmama
Lil Mama

Hipster Rating: May not have been a Hipster at all. Last time anyone saw her on stage was when she jumped up during Jay-Z’s performance at the 2009 MTV VMA’s, which is far too amusing for any Hipster Douchebag to be involved in.

Current Status: She’s apparently a judge for a show called America’s Best Dance Crew, which will hopefully keep her out of the studio.

lupefiasco
Lupe Fiasco

Hipster Rating: What he lacks in Hipster he makes up for in Doucheyness. Basically the Bono of Rap.

Current Status: Has fanatical fans who consider him Rap Jesus.

Kidz-In-The-Hall
Kidz In The Hall

Hipster Rating: Had potential but realised that they wouldn’t make any money making traditional rap so they threw on yellow sweaters. They pleaded innocence in a web video while dressed as Hipster Douchebags in an attempt to be ironic, which is ironic in itself since Hipster’s do everything ironically.

Current Status: I thought they’d broken-up but they put out a new song today.

n.e.r.d.
N*E*R*D*

Hipster Rating: Should have labeled them Hypebeast Douchebags in retrospect.

Current Status: This useless side-project has been quiet for the last couple of years. No great loss.

Should Have Been Included:

mickey-factz
Mickey Factz: The worst thing to happen to The Bronx since blight?

thehundreds_walecraze_3
Wale: Was co-signed by Nick “Catchdubs” and is proud of shrinking his jeans.

das-racist-web
Das Racist: Basically what happens when music bloggers rap.

hipster_fucks

The verdict? Unkut Dot Com single-handedly killed Hipster Rap. You’re welcome.


27 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Robbie is the DARK LORD Lolz at this post

Comment by @timmhotep 12.13.12 @

Thank you Rob Based god. Yeah Ye rockin the leather skirt is the worst thing to happen to rap since Ye started rapping. People always big upped kid sister and that just drove me bananas, its like she might as well be an ADHD addled vocal trance singer. I used to think so highly of the ironic rap group das racist until I figured out they weren’t actually making fun of rap music but trying to make good rap music and then it stopped being funny. Off to bump some Tragedy Khadafi to wash the bullshit taste out of my mouth by mentioning all these names.

Comment by gstatty 12.13.12 @

where are they? they’re laughing their midwest cornball asses off at Action Bronstein concerts, that’s where they are… what label did he sign to again? oh yeah, Vice, epicenter of hipster douchedom… ooh, look at Bronstein’s gun tattoos on his floppy man tits, CRAZY!! he’s a real “shooter” alright…

i have no issue ignoring any of the lame fucks above except maybe Heems (who’s pretty nice) but don’t kid yourself; behind the blubber and smoke Bronstein hype is nearly all hipster douche driven.

Comment by Radio Birdman 12.14.12 @

Hipster rap aint dead yo; the radio plays Mackelmore, Mac Miller sold a bunch a toilet paper, Casey Veggies… all that shit is still in the atmosphere; not to mention the soulless vomit that gets pumped out by Anticon every other quarter (Why?…exactly why??) ….nah bboys/girls keep your hazmat suits/gas masks securely fastened to your person @ all times!

Comment by bboycult 12.14.12 @

thanks for this. I never understood the lupe hype either.

Comment by Sancho 12.14.12 @

DOPE..Keep it up..Next=99%of southern rap.UK grime,N florider type shit…

Comment by Stos 12.14.12 @

Fuck of Munson stop writing your bullshit and go guard your women lest another big fat white fuck dicks her.

Comment by Gx 12.14.12 @

Happy birthday Robbie

Comment by jesse 12.14.12 @

What about Odd Future and Asap Rocky?

Comment by Caesar 12.14.12 @

This is great!! Must read…

Comment by @rahintelligence 12.14.12 @

Hipster Rap Douchebags – Where Are They Now? http://t.co/ybwDY9G2 via @sharethis

Comment by DJGH aka R@$#0D (@djgreenhornet) 12.14.12 @

On a cursory glance of ‘what the fuck is a Unkut.com?’, I’ve concluded that this site is the antithesis of hipster rap, which is actually bad, because a bunch of 35+, out-of-touch, old school clutching, “rock rock, ya don’t stop” cats run this site.

I see this site and think of any one of Kurtis Blow’s raps, and see the digital representation on my screen. I’m not hipster whatsoever…I actually hate it too, but not in the same fashion as y’all. I practice this thing called moderation, you should try it. But hey, maybe this is all a joke and I missed the set-up.

It’s 2012, all art should evolve…hipster rap is/was just a thing that the younger generations tried to create because the internet helped them feel like they had the power to make something new…which they do. They just went overboard with the flamboyance. Some Cool Kids tracks aren’t that bad, but they pigeonholed themselves. They remind me of what would happen if Pac Div wasn’t versatile.

Anyway, do whatever you want with this, just…egh…I run into too many old-timers that are more concerned with things staying the same as ‘the golden age’ than actually giving an ear to the progressive acts. I recommend you read Lupe’s raps, and don’t be so concerned with his fashion sense. Try ‘Super Lupe Rap’.

Done.

Comment by Fundamental 12.15.12 @

^ LOL @ Lupe fans.

Mickey Factz’s 2008 mixtapes produced more good songs than Milano’s entire career.

*Ducks*

Comment by brian beck from wisconsin 12.15.12 @

Embracing the “future” of rap at this point means embracing young men wearing your little sister’s clothes, it’s very “open minded” and “progressive” of you and all that but don’t be surprised if your older, dare I say wiser, brother gives you a sideways look while you’re locked in said embrace.
Also the idea that modern hipster swag rap is some natural occurrence is amusing to me. Pretty much every act listed here had either a favorable review or a full page article from generational taste-maker, the Viacom controlled, “Vice” magazine before they even had their first “free mixtape/album” up.
Finally anyone telling you you need to “READ” someone’s raps to appreciate them knows that the person their defending doesn’t have a solid track to stand on.

Comment by Lair 12.15.12 @

But happy birthday to you. RT @unkut: R.I.P. Hipster Rap: http://t.co/yxbcuzCT

Comment by @timmhotep 12.15.12 @

I about died when I read that @goinradiodotcom: Mickey Factz: The worst thing to happen to The Bronx since blight?

Comment by @MANHOODLUM 12.15.12 @

I about died when I read that @goinradiodotcom: Mickey Factz: The worst thing to happen to The Bronx since blight? http://t.co/BUTKdHwZ

Comment by @MANHOODLUM 12.15.12 @

Milano’s “Warrior’s Drum” > Mickey Factz life.

Comment by Robbie 12.15.12 @

Lol @ hipsters

Comment by @firefire100 12.16.12 @

Once again Robbie. Thanks. I hate this form of hiphop. Never saw the big deal. Im all for advancement but not at the cost of wack lyrics and dressing like Grace Jones. Lupe is the only one worth listening to cuz he’s serious with what he’s talking about. I dont need to see the dude to hear him. Lol.

Comment by MalMoe 12.16.12 @

I can’t hate on anything I haven’t listened to so I’ll check some of these jokers…THEN I’ll hate on it, lol. BTW, if hipster rap sucks, what do yall think of Trinidad James?

Comment by oskamadison 12.16.12 @

Trinidad James is THE TRUTH!!!…

That spectacle gets you a major record deal nowadays rather than good music

Comment by TumbleWEED 12.17.12 @

funny article on weed…

Cult! oska! Lair ethered you Fundamental…

…1…

Comment by $yk 12.17.12 @

What up, $yk!!!!!

@ T-WEED

Allegedly, dude’s only been rhymin’ for 10 months and gets welcomed into the House That Rick Built. Wow…..

Comment by oskamadison 12.18.12 @

Trini James fashion sense is totally immaculate..

http://youtu.be/mpHezCd1ZnM

Comment by lou 12.18.12 @


golden age forever trinidad james, das rascist,2 chains,prove why cats 35 and over won’t except these clowns. it’s fine for them to do their brand of music but just don’t expect golden era pruists to respect it, nor not complain about it .The fact so many people complain about the state of this music proves there is a problem. But hopefully by making albums like Double barrel, hiphop lives, parallel uni-veres, un or u out,king of the decks,total eclipse,kolexxxion,nineteen ninety now,ramblings of an angry old man,acid reflex then maybe someone can understand why we want accept that this is how it going to be. The way the music change is not an evolement, more or less like a fuck up mutation that needs to be eradicated.

Comment by derrick 12.25.12 @



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