Filed under: Anti-Fudge Rap,Features,Not Your Average,Shots Fired,The Unkut Opinion
Written by: Robbie Ettelson
It’s been over four years since I labeled a bunch of artist types as Hipster Douchebags. This resulted in lots of angry comments, newspaper articles citing homophobia and a video interview with a visibly hurt Kidz In The Hall. Sweet!
Let us examine what’s happened since then…
The Cool Kids
Hipster Rating: They were briefly signed to A-Trak‘s Fool Gold label, which is the musical equivalent of catching a Catholic priest parked in front of a boy scout hall.
Current Status: They announced they’re parting ways earlier today. Well at least as “The Cool Kids”. They have threatened to record under a different name in the future, most likely to wash-off the stink of being associated with Hipster Rap.
Hipster Rating: Straddling the realms of “Fashionista” in his leather kilts and “Reality TV Star” with his face time on Kimmy K’s show, it’s safe to safe that ‘Ye has out-grown his not-so-humble Hipster Douchebag roots.
Current Status: Hearting Kim, Collecting Weed Carriers.
Hipster Rating: Signed to Fool’s Gold. Nuff said.
Current Status: Hasn’t released anything since 2011. May be working in ‘Frisco-based Pop-Up Shop hawking bad sunglasses for the “party rocking” set.
Hipster Status: Known to sport every style from: “futurist aerobic instructor to new wave pirate to queenly candy raver” (according to a SPIN piece), no amount of political commentary in her music and critical praise can remove the hipster stench.
Current Status: Signed with Roc Nation management in May, where she joins fellow Hipster Santigold to spread wacky fashion and “progressive” music into the future, or at least get sampled by Jay-Z for free.
Hipster Rating: May not have been a Hipster at all. Last time anyone saw her on stage was when she jumped up during Jay-Z’s performance at the 2009 MTV VMA’s, which is far too amusing for any Hipster Douchebag to be involved in.
Current Status: She’s apparently a judge for a show called America’s Best Dance Crew, which will hopefully keep her out of the studio.
Hipster Rating: What he lacks in Hipster he makes up for in Doucheyness. Basically the Bono of Rap.
Current Status: Has fanatical fans who consider him Rap Jesus.
Kidz In The Hall
Hipster Rating: Had potential but realised that they wouldn’t make any money making traditional rap so they threw on yellow sweaters. They pleaded innocence in a web video while dressed as Hipster Douchebags in an attempt to be ironic, which is ironic in itself since Hipster’s do everything ironically.
Current Status: I thought they’d broken-up but they put out a new song today.
Hipster Rating: Should have labeled them Hypebeast Douchebags in retrospect.
Current Status: This useless side-project has been quiet for the last couple of years. No great loss.
Should Have Been Included:
Mickey Factz: The worst thing to happen to The Bronx since blight?
Wale: Was co-signed by Nick “Catchdubs” and is proud of shrinking his jeans.
Das Racist: Basically what happens when music bloggers rap.
The verdict? Unkut Dot Com single-handedly killed Hipster Rap. You’re welcome.
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