Omfg I laughed so hard. The worst is getting retweets from rappers you hate–thanks Elliot Wilson–and when a majority of someone’s tweets are retweets.

Here are my inspirational tweets: you can’t love anything else unless you love yourself.

Your smile makes fairies vomit glitter, lets see those chompers & you’ll make the world more pretty

Your dreams are are like roofied out wishes, give them away like hershey kisses

Give a koala a drink of your aquafina if there is a forest fire like that guy that gave a koala a drink of his aquafina in that foreforest fire

^ You’re hired.