Filed under: Features,Feedback,Run-DMC kinda sucked,You Mad
Written by: Robbie Ettelson
When I revealed that I “wasn’t a huge fan” of 3rd Bass this morning, I was met by some disgruntled responses exclaiming that several people had “lost all respect for this site” due to the fact that I refuse to bow down in worship to their favorite white rap group ever. It seems that a sacred cow of sorts had been violated, and for that I am deeply sorry…that I didn’t completely throw them under the bus! To avoid any possible future disappointments, allow me to indulge in providing you with a list of “rap legends” who I was never a fan of. Let the disrespect begin!
3rd Bass: It’s been well documented on these very pages just how “down” MC Serch has been since the early days, what with him being the token white guy at Latin Quarter and whatnot. The fact remains, however, that I never liked their records beyond some great Sam Sever, Prince Paul and SD-50’s beats. Let’s face it, these guys have been elevated to more than they were on account of being the first white guy rappers who weren’t completely terrible (for some reason the Beastie Boys were too entertaining for many white “real rap” listeners) and therefore gave hope to pale-face rap fans across the globe that they too might one day be accepted into the ranks of rap royalty. I can recall a review of The Cactus Album by a white dude that rated it 5/5 and ended every sentence with “WHO GIVES A FUCK WHAT COLOR THEY ARE?”
Heavy D: I feel that enough time has passed since the Hevster departed this mortal coil for me to point out that I never liked anything this guy did after “The Overweight Lover”. “B-b-but what about all those Pete Rock beats?” Maybe I just have something against fat rappers, but I always felt there something not quite right about Mt. Vernon’s favorite son.
Chubb Rock: I tried really hard to mess with the Chubbster’s music, since he was great in theory, but something about his voice and love for leather wind-breakers that was a real deal breaker for me.
Run-DMC: These guys were rapping at Wrestlemania by the time I started listening to rap, so weren’t exactly representing the “cutting edge” for me. I can appreciate them now, but in 1987 they were sounding very old hat, if you’ll pardon the pun.
Tupac: The greatest reverse method acting ever. He became Bishop after the movie Juice opened. Admittedly, he gave some great magazine interviews, but I can only think of around three of his songs that I actually like from his discography of 50,000 tracks.
Erick Sermon: Fuck everything he did after the fourth EPMD album. The rapping on No Pressure was the laziest performance since Grand Puba‘s 2000 album. The difference is, even a phoned-in Puba is still nicer than most, while Sermon thought lines like: “Mic check one two, yo you got my nerves jumpin’ around/and humpin’ round like Bobby Brown across town” were acceptable.
Talib Kweli: This guy sounded like he read the entire Black Star album off of his legal pad, with that old trying to cram a billion words into one line style. Then Jay-Z said his name on a song and he thinks he’s fancy?
Rakaa Iriscience: Single-handedly ruined some of the great beats that Dilated Peoples had. So corny it hurts.
Cannibus: Other than the “Best From The East” remix, I give two fucks about hearing this guy deliver his strep-throat rapps.
Fu-Schnickens: I got fooled into buying their tape because it had two Tribe Called Quest beats on it. NEVER AGAIN.
Feel free to add your own, or to post an angry comment and boycott Unkut for life.
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