Filed under: Features,Shit I Don't Like,Sizzle-chest,The 90's Files,The Unkut Opinion
Written by: Robbie Ettelson
There may only be two rapper’s with high pitched voices who I can tolerate – Milk D from Audio 2 and Ad Rock from the Beastie Boys, who also happened to have joined forces to record “Spam,” perhaps the most ear-splitting, obnoxious and completely brilliant rap song of all time. Otherwise, I have little to know time for whiny-voiced rapper dudes, regardless of how clever their rhymes may happen to be. While many aging hip-hop fans have a special place in their hearts for groups such as Souls of Mischief and Pharcyde, to my ears their debut albums represented the musically equivalent of golf being “a good walk spoiled.” Both 93 ‘Til Infinity and Bizarre Ride II The Pharcyde featured outstanding production weighed down by some of the most annoying voices ever to rap.
Suffice to say, I jumped at the chance to grab the 2LP pressing of the Souls’ first LP when they sold it through their website back in the internets stone age, and rate Del’s first three albums highly as well as some of Casual’s stuff. But after trying to have a listen to A-Plus and the gang rapping again the other day, I just couldn’t fuck with them at all. I also can’t listen to the Pharcyde, Y’All So Stupid, Fu-Scnickens, Lords of the Underground and the hundreds of other 90’s crews who rapped specifically so that packs of stray dogs could hear them from miles away. Admittedly, back when these records were coming out I bought a lot of this stuff and enjoyed some of it for a week or two, but I was also very young at the time and didn’t know better. Come to think of it, for all the glory days of Pete Rock and the Beatnuts and D.I.T.C. in the 90’s, there was far more bad than good in that era. The number of shitty songs with choruses that were just some cliche yelled over and over again doesn’t even bare recalling.
Like it or not, if you lack a cool-ass voice, you have no business rapping. That shit is an instrument, and if you can’t play that motherfucker properly go and write a blog or something. It’s the same theory as why no one except the guys who used to run the Hip Hop Infinity forum care about rap without “complicated” lyrics and horrible beats. Hip-hop without a good beat isn’t shit, even if you’re one of the nicest ever to touch said mic devices, and a rapper with an annoying voice is about as much use as a 65% Ralph Lauren discount code the day after you blew all your dough on hookers and fresh prawns (not necessarily in that order). If I wanted to hear a little girl rap I’d dig out an old MC Shy-D tape or Le Juan Love!
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