Soap Opera Rap

It seems that every other week a new Rap Genre emerges from someone’s twisted imagination. Since it’s been almost a year since the first Unkut Guide on the subject, it ain’t no mystery that a lot of effed-up new styles have appeared. Without a doubt, the most prominent would have to be the Soap Opera Rap movement. This hideous new breed of cRap is the mutated step-child of Wrestlemania Rap, which was started by Melle Mel when he stole Mikey D’s NMS belt and finally perfected by Curtis aka 50 Cent and his endless beefs with other rappers who he eventually makes shitty songs with (see: 50 & Jadakiss’ appropriately named ‘Dump‘).

Kanye Lost
Wednesday September 08th 2010,
Filed under: Art of Facts,Classic Ignorance,Not Your Average,Shots Fired
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Artwork: The Home Office

RE: ‘Monster’ ‘Power’ [Remix]

10 Fat Joe Songs You Might Have Missed

Fat Joe has released ten albums? You’ve got to respect that kind of dedication, despite his fondness for shitty club music on three quarters of them. But regardless of the direction that he may taken over the years in order to survive in the music game, Crack has done pretty well for a guy who admits he couldn’t rap for shit when he started out and had to strong-arm himself into the spotlight. He once admitted that he knew he was wack back in the days, but no one had the heart to tell him when he grabbed the mic in case he broke their nose with a right hook. While his debut was carried by top-notch D.I.T.C. beats, by the time he delivered Jealous One’s Envy he had refined his Shout Rap style into something more convincing, and continued to display and great ear for music. Once Big Punisher came into the picture, Joe was forced to step his game up in a major way and ever since has made the most of his somewhat limited vocal talents. I was surprised to find that his latest, The Darkside, has a few burner’s on it. Even more shocking is the fact that Cool & Dre actually out-shined the Premier and Just Blaze contributions.

Anyways, I though this would be a good opportunity to throw a few of Joey’s less renown work out there. Beyond the posse cuts, ‘Twinz ’98’, ‘Flow Joe’ and ‘Lean Back’, here are some of the big fella’s finest moments:

NORE’s Notable Quotables

Your arms too short to box with the God….

“A full steezie is a bitch that will suck your dick in front of your peoples. She doesn’t really care, she’ll suck your dick in front of everybody. She’ll suck all your niggas dicks…that’s basically my everyday plan. I find a new full steezie…I’m being honest with you, ‘cause I know this ain’t getting to New York, so…You know, I piss on bitches. [laughter] It’s nothing. I love full steezies. And even I like the full steezies that won’t suck everyone else’s dick, but they’ll suck your dick in front of your man. I like those, too. I’m very uncivilized. Then you got the ones that’ll suck your dick behind closed doors, all day every day. Those are cool, too. It’s all full steezies, but there’s different ways of being full steezie. That’s my everyday life. I discover a new full steezie every other day. And I like to smoke a lot of marijuana. You got marijuana?”

Video: Ras Kass featuring Mel Gibson – Pussy From Behind

Who said that celebrity phone call recordings, auto-tune and shitty beats don’t ever make for a good combination?

Greatest. Trailer. Ever.
Thursday July 08th 2010,
Filed under: Announcements,Classic Ignorance,Video Clips
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Looks like the rumors about Robert Robriguez’ fake trailer from Grindhouse getting made into a full-length feature were true after all!

Machette is hitting cinema’s on September 3, 2010.

Update/Late-pass: Damn…according to Wikipedia:

The United States release is set for September 3, 2010 by 20th Century Fox. On May 5, 2010, Robert Rodriguez responded to Arizona’s controversial immigration law by releasing an “illegal” trailer on Ain’t It Cool News. The fake trailer combined elements of the Machete trailer that appeared in Grindhouse with footage from the actual film, and implied that the film would be about Machete leading a revolt against anti-immigration politicians and border vigilantes. Several movie websites, including Internet Movie Database, reported that it was the official teaser for the film. However, Rodriguez later revealed the trailer to be a joke, explaining “it was Cinco de Mayo and I had too much tequila.” It has now been confirmed by Robert Rodriguez that a new trailer for Machete would be released with Predators.

The Definition Of A Rap Jerk

There’s a lot of talk about ‘Old Man Rap’, ‘Old Moufs’ and ‘Grown Man Rap’ in recent times, which is hardly a shock since hip-hop has been here for 36 years already. Relax, this isn’t another article about Jay-Z or any of our ‘youth-impaired’ MC’s. My question for today is – does too much rap music make you immature?

Traditional common sense tells me that nobody over the age of 25 has any business wearing a hooded sweatshirt as part of their daily dress-code, and yet….I still own several. Tony Bones described this phenomenon best with this quip: “I see grown men here in Harlem in their early 50’s, dressed like 20 year olds. Do-rags and fitteds, matching head-to-toe like toddlers”. But what’s the solution? When rapper dudes briefly embraced the button-down shirt, we clowned them for it! Personally, I find myself bored to tears by ‘Grown Folk Rap’ (not to be confused with ‘Grown Man Rap’) which revolves around sipping white wine, sitting on yachts and thinking about how best to maximize your superannuation and stock options, set to some Euro-beat lite rap beats. Me? I prefer to hear Lil’ Fame talk about hitting someone in the head with a beer bottle.

More Backstage Thievery Down-Under

Just because Australia was once filled with the crooks that England didn’t want doesn’t mean that it’s a nation of ‘tea-leafs’, right? Here’s the latest installment of people stealing shit from Americans On Rap Tours. While Talib Kweli was able to get his laptop back (but not his fitted), it seems that this story has a happier ending for a certain teetotalling Canadian beat-smith:

Skit Of The Year
Monday May 17th 2010,
Filed under: Classic Ignorance,Mix Tapes,Steady Bootleggin'
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Skits in-between songs on rap albums is one of the worst trends to happen to hip-hop. But every now and then, you hear one that is pure gold. Excellent work, Mr. Giles.

Cam’Ron – ‘Old Head’ [skit]

What’s you’re favorite skit from a rap LP or mixtape?

Does Japan Fail At Rap?

Here’s a piece that was refused publication in a print magazine I do some shit for. Too xenophobic perhaps? Or maybe there were a bunch of Bathing Ape ads all over the issue…

Is it wrong that my first impulse when penning a column for a Japanese-themed issue involves mentions of the classic ode to self-loving ‘Turning Japanese’, Nintendo DS games based around ‘witch touching’ and an obsession with schoolgirl’s undergarments? Now that we’ve got the obligatory cry of, ‘Oh, those wacky Japanese!’ out of the way, let’s proceed. If you were an independent rapper or producer in the nineties of some notoriety, there’s a good chance you cashed some checks courtesy of the place that gave us Akira. In much the same way as marginal jazz artists continued to perform and record in Europe once they experienced commercial decline in America, underground New York hip-hop dudes were courted by labels such as Next Level and Mary Joy, who released exclusive vinyl projects by everyone from Rawkus mainstay Mos Def to more obscure MC’s such as Lace Da Booms and Mike Zoot (if those names mean anything to you, please hand-in your crusty old backpack at reception). The Diggin’ In The Crates crew were even called upon to produce songs for Japanese MC’s, and the market for rare hip-hop singles went through the roof during the height of the rap craze. De La Soul – once hell bent on breaking every long-standing hip-hop tradition they could think of – even featured Kan Takagi from Major Force rapping in his native tongue on a track from their Bahloone Mindstate LP.

Six Years of Dope – The Unkut Retrospective: 2005
Tuesday February 16th 2010,
Filed under: Announcements,Classic Ignorance,Not Your Average,Unkut Retrospective
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At the beginning of 2005, for reasons that now escape me, I decided to begin another blog called Steady Bootleggin’ (named after the Brand Nubian track from their first Puba-free project). I guess I wanted to keep A Tribute To Ignorance semi-legitimate by not posting any mp3’s or some shit…the contents are hardly worth reminiscing over, other than the ‘Great Soundtracks To Awful Movies’ series and the first five parts of my ‘Ced Gee Special’, but that sort of explains why I was only doing three or four posts a drops over here.

Six Years Of Dope – The Unkut Retrospective: 2004
Friday February 12th 2010,
Filed under: Announcements,Classic Ignorance,Not Your Average,Unkut Retrospective
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Yesterday marked the official 6th birthday of Unkut Dot Com. Let’s take a look back at the very first post:

Nice interview at Tha Formula with Ayatollah and Cormega.
For some reason there’s no mention of Ayatollah’s outstanding work on the last Screwball album, which is strange since “When The Sun Goes Down” is amazing.

That reminds me….Godfather Don, where you at?

While on the topic on Queensbridge Ignorance, please note that Flushing resident Neek The Exotic’s Exotic’s Raw is required listening. Neek kicks the dumb shit in all senses of the word over some bangin’ beats and never fails to entertain. It’s been out a while on record but the CD’s out now so grab it on all formats.

I’m still confused over Blaq Poet releasing “Poet Is Here” as his Year Round debut instead of the far superior “Poet’s Comin”? If you heard that Future Flavas mix CD you know what I’m on about.

*blank stare*

Unkut’s Ten Most Popular Posts For 2009

Just for shits ‘n gigs I thought I’d look back at the most viewed articles I dropped last year, according to WordPress Site Stats. Interesting that only one interview cracked the top ten, despite most readers telling me that the Q & A’s are the highlight of this spot and the fact that they take about ten times more work than the rest of the content on here. Shit happens I guess.

…And Six Reasons Why Hip-Hop Will Win In 2010

Just to end things off on a positive note…

1. Less Red Tape – You wanna know what the one upside of nobody selling records is? No one is going to sue you for uncleared samples if your album only sells 7,000 copies! More sampling = better beats.

How Not To Attend An M.O.P. Show

I remember seeing the posters a couple of months ago and bugging out. Mash Out Posse coming through my town? Nah, right? But it they were. As a huge supporter/fan/Stan of the Brownsville crew, I knew this was gonna be a night to remember. Turns out it was, only not exactly the way I’d imagined…

REVOK Gets Nabbed In Australia Thanks To Twitter
Friday November 06th 2009,
Filed under: Classic Ignorance,LA Big City Of Dreams,Video Clips
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Next time he might want to wait until he’s actually on the plane until he starts to Twitter about it…

Thanks to Big Hock for the putting me up on this.

Unkut Vs. Combat Jack: EPMD = Great, But Not The Greatest

If you have even the slightest clue about this here rap shit, then you have to acknowledge the fact that Erick and Parrish pretty much had the game in motherfuckin’ headlock with their first four albums. They brought a brand new funk to the scene with Strictly Business, delivered cutting-edge beat science on Unfinished Business and executed a near-flawless B-Boy document with Business As Usual, while Business Never Personal showcased the mighty Hit Squad at the height of their powers while slapping the shit outta listeners with ultra-hard cuts like ‘Boon Dox’. Combat Jack is going to tell you that based on the strength of this discography they automatically qualify as rap’s ‘Dopest Duo’ (word to Craig G), but that’s not the whole equation. My main motivation behind the ‘M.O.P are the greatest’ declaration is the fact that they’ve outlasted everyone and are still bringing that heat. It soon became clear that the most effective way to illustrate the Mash Out Posse‘s superiority is through the classic Take An ‘L’ Comparison Test. Let’s get it in!

Video: British Guy Breaks Down Tupac’s Faked Death (1997)
Wednesday June 03rd 2009,
Filed under: Classic Ignorance,Stan Status,Video Clips
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Amateur sleuth/’Pac Stan “Ill” Will explains the various theories about why Tupac was due to return to the USA to crush his enemies in 2003. Big Breakfast host Johnny Vaughan seems suitably bemused. Another victory from crate digga‘s VHS box.

Best Slang Names For Dames

A case could quite easily be argued that women have been dealt a bad hand by the vast majority of rap songs, but I say otherwise. Let’s just consider how many timeless terms of endearment have been created to describe the “good-time gals” that most people get into the music game to meet:

Chinese Food Scares The Mess Outta Singing MC Breeze

MC Breeze aka Joey B Ellis, Sage (Stallones son), Sylvester Stallone and Tynetta Hare at the premiere of Rocky V

If only every local legend 80’s rapper was considerate enough to have a website with a decent bio, I’d never have to do more than recording some vinyl and cut ‘n paste some text…

“How can you talk about Philadelphia (rap music) without talking about M.C. Breeze? How are you going to go from Schooly D to Jazzy Jeff? You can’t. He’s the link in the chain.” – Philly Rap Pioneer Schooly D.

“Of all the Old School Philly Rappers, Breeze most represents this city,” says filmmaker Mike D on why Breeze was chosen to be the subject of the first Bring The Beat Back production. “While other rappers were busy talking about how fly their sneakers, cars and gold chains were, from his very first record, Breeze was reppin’ Philly.” That first record, an EP released in the winter of 1985, featured “It Aint’New York,” “Discombobulatorbubulator” and a ballad, “Another Sad Song,”and was entirely produced by Breeze. He wrote and performed all the music (keyboards, guitar and Dr. Rhythm drum machine) live in a four track studio and did the lead vocals. He even drew the artwork for the label and (later) album cover. Handmaster Flash, a member of his original crew, The Mighty B-Force, did turntable scratches and additional raps. The record was released on Breeze’s own label and funded with money he saved delivering pizza for Dominos.

Capone-N-Noreaga – Channel 10 Album Review

The creators of legendary anthems like ‘Illegal Life’, ‘Bloody Money’ and ‘T.O.N.Y’ finally get the chance to make a whole record together. Without mentor Tragedy on deck, will this be more like The Reunion than The War Report?


Here we get to remember all the classic shit they did in the 90s. Prepare for it all to go downhill from here. It’s gotta be tough for dudes like CNN and Raekwon to forever live in the shadow of near-perfect debuts.

‘United We Stand’

Solid opening. Good beat (with the exception of that annoying ‘swooosh!’ shit). Capone delivers as usual.

‘Rotate’ feat. Busta Rhymes & Ron Browz

The beat on this is pretty hard – Ron Browz on the AutoTune does his best to undo his good work with a horrible hook. Still a great ignorant club record though.

Crooked I Reads Prodigy Letter, Not Pleased

It seems that after HipHopDX did a post about the Prodigy Top 40 Letter that a certain comment about Slaughterhouse member Crooked I seems to have gotten back to him and as you might expect, he’s pissed. And wouldn’t you know it – he just happens to do a blog over at…yep – HipHopDX:

I read your letter and you disrespectfully mentioned my name. If you don’t know why Vibe magazine chose to put me in the Best Rapper Alive issue maybe you should have researched me before you wrote what you wrote. Since you have time on your hands, you should check out week 1 thru 52 of my historical Hip Hop Weekly series. Week 33 was a freestyle over your song ‘Get Away’ (one of my favorite Mobb Deep songs). All things considered, there is a price for speaking on a real nigga sideways. Out west we call this price a ‘fade’. I need you to catch my fade, in other words, fight me 1 on 1. Nobody else, just you and me. I’ll wait for your release date since I don’t forget about shit.

P.S. Do some push ups.

The fact that P doesn’t have internets access kinda makes this whole thing pointless unless one of his loyal Stans prints out Crook’s blog and mails it P in the bing, but let’s not get bogged down in the minor details.

On the plus side, this whole thing has given me a reason to listen to something by dude:

Prodigy Rates His Top 40 GOAT MC’s


M.O.P – Blow The Horns
Thursday February 12th 2009,
Filed under: BK All Day,Classic Ignorance,Mash Out,Newest Latest,Steady Bootleggin'
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M.O.P – ‘Blow The Horns’

Bob James stay winning.

Courtesy Spine Mag.

Six Songs For Ya Moms

Any cheeseball can make a song about how great their mother is, but why should we give a shit? Here are six songs that may make your old earth cry a river (or at least get off the pipe).

Audio Two – ‘Get Your Mother Off The Crack’

Milk D has been something of a role model to me as I’ve grown up. Thanks to his sage words, I try and eat cherries, drink milk and keep ma duke away from my stash of whoolas.