Who Would You Like To Throw Onto The Third Rail?
Tuesday September 06th 2011,
Filed under: Classic Ignorance,Internets,Sizzle-chest,Vote Or Die
Written by:

As a rule, I prefer to change up the tried-and-tested hypothetical question of which celebrity you would like to shove into an active volcano with something a little more grimy. Not that Unkut Dot Com is any way, shape or form condoning the killing or causing grievous bodily harm to rappers, producers and deejays, but just for the sake of argument, let us suppose for a second that you were in a position to shove someone like Swizz Beatz in front of a bus without anybody suspecting foul play…who would you choose? Call it natural selection if you will…the culling of the less talented musical individuals for the betterment of our ears.

Don’t hold back now…the Unkut comment section is protected by doctor/patient confidentiality.

Bloggers Aren’t The New DJ’s, The New A&R’s Or The New Unsigned Hype

The awful truth is that rap bloggers are essentially glorified publicists. You can pick and choose who you ‘support’ or ‘expose’ but essentially all you’re doing is selecting which angle you want to roll with. Even if your blog focuses on old records, you’re essentially just promoting some European kid’s next Random Rap ebay auction. Writing reviews is basically an exercise in vanity, since 90% of the people reading the review already have the album anyway, and the only thing you might possibly achieve is ruffling the feathers of the over-sensitive artists who sent you the stuff in the first place. The idea that rap blogs are dictating radio or sales in any major way is laughable, and the theory that anyone actually values the opinion of anyone on the Rap Internets is even more of a joke. The only reason anyone visits one hip-hop site over the other is that it happens to be slightly less annoying than the other ones, or maybe doesn’t post as much crap that you hate.

Stuff White People (Don’t) Like – 10 Shots At The Devil
Tuesday February 08th 2011,
Filed under: Classic Ignorance,Features,Not Your Average,Steady Bootleggin'
Written by:

There’s few things more entertaining than upsetting white folks. It’s like shooting fish in a barrel, and when the fish in this particular barrel happen to be mountain climbers who play electric guitar (aka A&R’s) then it gets even more amusing. What could be better than some good old fashioned songs about ‘Devils’? (excluding Jay-Z’s ‘D’Evils’ which is disappointingly free of anti-cracker sentiment).


Kidz In The Hall May Attempt To Sucker Punch Me In April
Wednesday February 02nd 2011,
Filed under: Announcements,Classic Ignorance,Get Off My Link,Guest Drops,You Mad
Written by:

I seem to be having a bad run of pissing-off Double-O and Naledge from Kidz In The Hall in recent years. First I accused them of the crime of Hipster Rap, to which they responded on an UGHH.com video, and now it seems that I’ve thrown them under the bus again in my latest guest post for XXL:

No Sell Out

I’m assuming ‘lol’ is some kind of code for ‘we’re going to get our bodyguard to put you in a yoke when we find you’, although that may be considered bad karma since the same thing happened to Double-O at that nightclub in Tempe, AZ back in 2008. Since I’ll be living in a cardboard box somewhere in Flushing Meadows Corona Park, I’m sure the money I might make from any resulting lawsuit will come in handy for when I need to buy myself a couple of Ghetto Big Macs.

Hot Ass Mess
Friday January 14th 2011,
Filed under: Announcements,Classic Ignorance
Written by:

A bunch of bloggers review a Kanye West / Jay-Z song, including my good self.

Soap Opera Rap

It seems that every other week a new Rap Genre emerges from someone’s twisted imagination. Since it’s been almost a year since the first Unkut Guide on the subject, it ain’t no mystery that a lot of effed-up new styles have appeared. Without a doubt, the most prominent would have to be the Soap Opera Rap movement. This hideous new breed of cRap is the mutated step-child of Wrestlemania Rap, which was started by Melle Mel when he stole Mikey D’s NMS belt and finally perfected by Curtis aka 50 Cent and his endless beefs with other rappers who he eventually makes shitty songs with (see: 50 & Jadakiss’ appropriately named ‘Dump‘).

Kanye Lost
Wednesday September 08th 2010,
Filed under: Art of Facts,Classic Ignorance,Not Your Average,Shots Fired
Written by:

Artwork: The Home Office

RE: ‘Monster’ ‘Power’ [Remix]

10 Fat Joe Songs You Might Have Missed

Fat Joe has released ten albums? You’ve got to respect that kind of dedication, despite his fondness for shitty club music on three quarters of them. But regardless of the direction that he may taken over the years in order to survive in the music game, Crack has done pretty well for a guy who admits he couldn’t rap for shit when he started out and had to strong-arm himself into the spotlight. He once admitted that he knew he was wack back in the days, but no one had the heart to tell him when he grabbed the mic in case he broke their nose with a right hook. While his debut was carried by top-notch D.I.T.C. beats, by the time he delivered Jealous One’s Envy he had refined his Shout Rap style into something more convincing, and continued to display and great ear for music. Once Big Punisher came into the picture, Joe was forced to step his game up in a major way and ever since has made the most of his somewhat limited vocal talents. I was surprised to find that his latest, The Darkside, has a few burner’s on it. Even more shocking is the fact that Cool & Dre actually out-shined the Premier and Just Blaze contributions.

Anyways, I though this would be a good opportunity to throw a few of Joey’s less renown work out there. Beyond the posse cuts, ‘Twinz ’98’, ‘Flow Joe’ and ‘Lean Back’, here are some of the big fella’s finest moments:

NORE’s Notable Quotables

Your arms too short to box with the God….

“A full steezie is a bitch that will suck your dick in front of your peoples. She doesn’t really care, she’ll suck your dick in front of everybody. She’ll suck all your niggas dicks…that’s basically my everyday plan. I find a new full steezie…I’m being honest with you, ‘cause I know this ain’t getting to New York, so…You know, I piss on bitches. [laughter] It’s nothing. I love full steezies. And even I like the full steezies that won’t suck everyone else’s dick, but they’ll suck your dick in front of your man. I like those, too. I’m very uncivilized. Then you got the ones that’ll suck your dick behind closed doors, all day every day. Those are cool, too. It’s all full steezies, but there’s different ways of being full steezie. That’s my everyday life. I discover a new full steezie every other day. And I like to smoke a lot of marijuana. You got marijuana?”

Video: Ras Kass featuring Mel Gibson – Pussy From Behind

Who said that celebrity phone call recordings, auto-tune and shitty beats don’t ever make for a good combination?

Greatest. Trailer. Ever.
Thursday July 08th 2010,
Filed under: Announcements,Classic Ignorance,Video Clips
Written by:

Looks like the rumors about Robert Robriguez’ fake trailer from Grindhouse getting made into a full-length feature were true after all!

Machette is hitting cinema’s on September 3, 2010.

Update/Late-pass: Damn…according to Wikipedia:

The United States release is set for September 3, 2010 by 20th Century Fox. On May 5, 2010, Robert Rodriguez responded to Arizona’s controversial immigration law by releasing an “illegal” trailer on Ain’t It Cool News. The fake trailer combined elements of the Machete trailer that appeared in Grindhouse with footage from the actual film, and implied that the film would be about Machete leading a revolt against anti-immigration politicians and border vigilantes. Several movie websites, including Internet Movie Database, reported that it was the official teaser for the film. However, Rodriguez later revealed the trailer to be a joke, explaining “it was Cinco de Mayo and I had too much tequila.” It has now been confirmed by Robert Rodriguez that a new trailer for Machete would be released with Predators.

The Definition Of A Rap Jerk

There’s a lot of talk about ‘Old Man Rap’, ‘Old Moufs’ and ‘Grown Man Rap’ in recent times, which is hardly a shock since hip-hop has been here for 36 years already. Relax, this isn’t another article about Jay-Z or any of our ‘youth-impaired’ MC’s. My question for today is – does too much rap music make you immature?

Traditional common sense tells me that nobody over the age of 25 has any business wearing a hooded sweatshirt as part of their daily dress-code, and yet….I still own several. Tony Bones described this phenomenon best with this quip: “I see grown men here in Harlem in their early 50’s, dressed like 20 year olds. Do-rags and fitteds, matching head-to-toe like toddlers”. But what’s the solution? When rapper dudes briefly embraced the button-down shirt, we clowned them for it! Personally, I find myself bored to tears by ‘Grown Folk Rap’ (not to be confused with ‘Grown Man Rap’) which revolves around sipping white wine, sitting on yachts and thinking about how best to maximize your superannuation and stock options, set to some Euro-beat lite rap beats. Me? I prefer to hear Lil’ Fame talk about hitting someone in the head with a beer bottle.

More Backstage Thievery Down-Under

Just because Australia was once filled with the crooks that England didn’t want doesn’t mean that it’s a nation of ‘tea-leafs’, right? Here’s the latest installment of people stealing shit from Americans On Rap Tours. While Talib Kweli was able to get his laptop back (but not his fitted), it seems that this story has a happier ending for a certain teetotalling Canadian beat-smith:

Skit Of The Year
Monday May 17th 2010,
Filed under: Classic Ignorance,Mix Tapes,Steady Bootleggin'
Written by:

Skits in-between songs on rap albums is one of the worst trends to happen to hip-hop. But every now and then, you hear one that is pure gold. Excellent work, Mr. Giles.

Cam’Ron - ‘Old Head’ [skit]

What’s you’re favorite skit from a rap LP or mixtape?

Does Japan Fail At Rap?

Here’s a piece that was refused publication in a print magazine I do some shit for. Too xenophobic perhaps? Or maybe there were a bunch of Bathing Ape ads all over the issue…

Is it wrong that my first impulse when penning a column for a Japanese-themed issue involves mentions of the classic ode to self-loving ‘Turning Japanese’, Nintendo DS games based around ‘witch touching’ and an obsession with schoolgirl’s undergarments? Now that we’ve got the obligatory cry of, ‘Oh, those wacky Japanese!’ out of the way, let’s proceed. If you were an independent rapper or producer in the nineties of some notoriety, there’s a good chance you cashed some checks courtesy of the place that gave us Akira. In much the same way as marginal jazz artists continued to perform and record in Europe once they experienced commercial decline in America, underground New York hip-hop dudes were courted by labels such as Next Level and Mary Joy, who released exclusive vinyl projects by everyone from Rawkus mainstay Mos Def to more obscure MC’s such as Lace Da Booms and Mike Zoot (if those names mean anything to you, please hand-in your crusty old backpack at reception). The Diggin’ In The Crates crew were even called upon to produce songs for Japanese MC’s, and the market for rare hip-hop singles went through the roof during the height of the rap craze. De La Soul – once hell bent on breaking every long-standing hip-hop tradition they could think of – even featured Kan Takagi from Major Force rapping in his native tongue on a track from their Bahloone Mindstate LP.

Six Years of Dope – The Unkut Retrospective: 2005
Tuesday February 16th 2010,
Filed under: Announcements,Classic Ignorance,Not Your Average,Unkut Retrospective
Written by:

At the beginning of 2005, for reasons that now escape me, I decided to begin another blog called Steady Bootleggin’ (named after the Brand Nubian track from their first Puba-free project). I guess I wanted to keep A Tribute To Ignorance semi-legitimate by not posting any mp3’s or some shit…the contents are hardly worth reminiscing over, other than the ‘Great Soundtracks To Awful Movies’ series and the first five parts of my ‘Ced Gee Special’, but that sort of explains why I was only doing three or four posts a drops over here.

Six Years Of Dope – The Unkut Retrospective: 2004
Friday February 12th 2010,
Filed under: Announcements,Classic Ignorance,Not Your Average,Unkut Retrospective
Written by:

Yesterday marked the official 6th birthday of Unkut Dot Com. Let’s take a look back at the very first post:

Nice interview at Tha Formula with Ayatollah and Cormega.
For some reason there’s no mention of Ayatollah’s outstanding work on the last Screwball album, which is strange since “When The Sun Goes Down” is amazing.

That reminds me….Godfather Don, where you at?

While on the topic on Queensbridge Ignorance, please note that Flushing resident Neek The Exotic’s Exotic’s Raw is required listening. Neek kicks the dumb shit in all senses of the word over some bangin’ beats and never fails to entertain. It’s been out a while on record but the CD’s out now so grab it on all formats.

I’m still confused over Blaq Poet releasing “Poet Is Here” as his Year Round debut instead of the far superior “Poet’s Comin”? If you heard that Future Flavas mix CD you know what I’m on about.

*blank stare*

Unkut’s Ten Most Popular Posts For 2009

Just for shits ‘n gigs I thought I’d look back at the most viewed articles I dropped last year, according to WordPress Site Stats. Interesting that only one interview cracked the top ten, despite most readers telling me that the Q & A’s are the highlight of this spot and the fact that they take about ten times more work than the rest of the content on here. Shit happens I guess.

…And Six Reasons Why Hip-Hop Will Win In 2010

Just to end things off on a positive note…

1. Less Red Tape - You wanna know what the one upside of nobody selling records is? No one is going to sue you for uncleared samples if your album only sells 7,000 copies! More sampling = better beats.

How Not To Attend An M.O.P. Show

I remember seeing the posters a couple of months ago and bugging out. Mash Out Posse coming through my town? Nah, right? But it they were. As a huge supporter/fan/Stan of the Brownsville crew, I knew this was gonna be a night to remember. Turns out it was, only not exactly the way I’d imagined…