Face-Off: Grandmaster Caz vs. Biz Markie – A Thing Named Kim
Thursday December 04th 2014,
Filed under: Face Off,Jokes On You,Not Your Average,Vote Or Die
Written by:

Lil' Kim 2014

Biz Markie apparently makes up all his rhymes on the spot in the studio and then learns them later – except for when he gets his pals to write songs for him. Big Daddy Kane wrote the first side of Goin’ Off, as was clearly stated on the back cover (therefore not a case of ‘ghostwriting’) and for his next LP he enlisted GMC to lend his storytelling prowess for this entertainly tasteless tale of transgender luh gone wrong.

Seeing as though Caz’s original reference track was eventually issued with a 45 King remix, we can now compare the two. Who rocked it better?

The Science: What Is The GOAT Rap Beer?
Wednesday July 30th 2014,
Filed under: Booze!,Face Off,Features,Not Your Average,The Science,Unkut Originals
Written by:


Ever wondered what the most popular beer in rap is? For scientific purposes, I assigned my crack team of weed carriers to compile the drinking habits of 76 78 rapper dudes based on lyrics from actual tracks (and ignoring the dozens of paid St. Ides advertisements) to establish which brand is the undisputed king of beers. While the result is certainly no surprise, you can examine the data below and enjoy the wonders of the Interactive GOAT Rap Beer Pie Chart (c) CRC. Next level, yo. Except if you’re on your celly, in which case you won’t see jack, Jack. The genius of the pie chart means that I can keep adding entries as they’re suggested, which automatically makes this whole thing a million times more useful than Rap Dummy.


Timeless Classics Or Only Classics For Their Time?
Monday February 03rd 2014,
Filed under: Albums,Crates,Face Off,Features,Listicles,The 80's Files,The Unkut Opinion
Written by:


Every now and then, one of these rap websites puts together a list along the lines of “The 30 Greatest Hip-Hop Albums of 1993” and such, which in theory isn’t something I should have an issue with. The reason I mention it is that a decent proportion of these albums – most of which are widely regarded as “classic” and important records – don’t exactly inspire me to dig them out of the shelves and throw them onto the turntable (or, if I’m feeling lazy, navigate to the folder on my hard drive). Is this simply due to the fact that I played that shit to death back when it was released? Or is it more of a case that some music outlives its usefulness?

Take De La Soul’s much discussed 3 Feet High And Rising, for example. While there’s no doubting the impact and originality that Prince Paul and Plugs 1, 2 and 3 brought to the table, I can confidently state that I have no intention to ever listen to that record in it’s entirety in the foreseeable future. That’s likely more of a reflection of my preference for anti-social rap with loud drums than anything else, but it’s an issue worth considering. Let’s take a look at the 1989’s greatest hip-hop albums according to ego trip‘s Book of Rap Lists for example:

Kool Keith Fires Back At Unkut?


Just noticed this comment from Lair dating back to February, where he points out, “I think Keith recorded a diss track just for you off of this article”, linking to a song that dropped a mere 12 days after I expressed my bitter disappointment at Ultramagnetic MC’s Critical Beatdown tour.

While the cover image bares a striking resemblance to the venue I attended, the rhymes don’t really confirm that it has anything to do with my review, unless you consider “You heard the track accurate, that’s what I’m about” to be a rationale for his lip-syncing during the show in question, and “Laugh online…LOL…they stuck!” to be a subliminal aimed at Unkut HQ.

Hold up! On closer inspection, “Caught up in the zone like people with long cords on they phone/they can’t think out the box, so they won’t stay in the box” pretty much sums up everything that the Conservative Rap Coalition is about. Did Poppa Large (pause) just ether me?

Was the 1989 NMS MC/DJ Battle Fixed?
Wednesday October 10th 2012,
Filed under: Face Off,Features,Great Moments In Rap,Video Clips,Vote Or Die
Written by:

After speaking to Uptown (of ‘Dope On Plastic’ fame) the other week, he mentioned an interesting story about his involvement in the 1989 New Music Seminar Battle For World Supremacy:

Uptown: I battled for World Supremacy – that was the year that Freshco and Miz won. I made it to the semi-finals – it was me, Serge from Ohio and Freshco. When we get into the final round, one of the associates of Tommy Boy comes up to me and says, ‘Freschco’s ‘4 At A Time’ is doing great right now, it would be real good if he won this contest’. I’m like, ‘What? What are you asking me to do?’ While I’m talking to them, my time was running out. So I had to run on stage – if anyone has video tape of that final, you’ll see I run on stage and tried to come-up with something real quick – and then Freshco kinda capitalised on it, ‘Why was you takin’ so long, are you scared of me/I don’t think you was prepared for me!’. He said some real slick shit and he won that title. I was like, ‘How in the world…?’ That was the same year where Miz won, but DJ Alladin also got kinda jibbed. Me and Alladin talked about it at one time, ‘We should get together and make a song’, but it never panned-out.

Did the Tommy Boy staff somehow rig the results?

Check this video of the finals and you be the judge:

The Chop Shop: Pete Rock vs. Roc Marciano vs. 10cc
Monday September 24th 2012,
Filed under: Face Off,Not Your Average,The Chop Shop,Vote Or Die
Written by:

Has the student defeated the master? Pete and Roc offer separate takes on 10cc’s MOR classic. Please attempt to ignore Papoose‘s involvement when casting your vote…

Video Face-Off: Tragedy Khadafi – Ill-Luminous Flow (Official Version Vs. The Dallas Penn Remix)
Thursday October 13th 2011,
Filed under: Face Off,Internets,Killa Queens,Not Your Average,Tragedy Special,Video Clips
Written by:

Dallas Penn just unleashed his own visuals for this track from Thug Matrix 3. Which do you prefer – the official or the home-made recipe?

Round 2: What Is Show’s Greatest Beat?

For the second round knock out, let’s focus on the work Showbiz was contributed to his D.I.T.C. peoples. The final round will of course be dedicated to his classic work with Andre The Giant

Round 1: What Is Show’s Greatest Beat?

Mistakes were made in the last ‘Search For The Best Beat’ feature…namely, Alchemist has too may cot damn tracks! This time I’ve selected a producer who is a little more restrained in terms of his musical output, but still a beast on the beat – the Bronx Bomber himself, Show. While his early work featured a signature sound that was easily identifiable, Show’s style developed into a tighter, more refined minimalism by the time Goodfellas was released. While the majority of his work has been with his Diggin’ In The Crates crew and Wildlife, he’s contributed tracks for a select few over the years. The first round is dedicated to production outside of his immediate D.I.T.C. circle. Hopefully we can get this one sorted out in three round this time.

Best Rap Catch Phrase – Final Round
Tuesday February 16th 2010,
Filed under: Face Off,Features,Vote Or Die
Written by:

Although Jadakiss and Flavor Flav took top honors in the first and second rounds with 17% and 26% of the vote respectively, just to keep shit interesting I thought I’d give the runners-up from each a second chance, and throw in the Thug Life president for shits ‘n gigs. Now’s your chance to go for gold, Jeezy fans!

What Is Rap's Best Trademark?

  • Jadakiss - AH-HEARGH! (28%, 325 Votes)
  • Flavor Flav - YEEAAAHH BOYYEEEEEE! (26%, 304 Votes)
  • Too $hort - BEEYITCH! (25%, 290 Votes)
  • Young Jeezy - YEEEEAAAHHHHH! (15%, 170 Votes)
  • Tupac - HOLLA IF YOU HEAR ME!!!! (5%, 62 Votes)

Total Voters: 1,151

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Best Rap Catch Phrases – Round 2
Monday February 08th 2010,
Filed under: Face Off,Features,Not Your Average,The Unkut Opinion,Video Clips,Vote Or Die
Written by:

Sure, most of these are noises/adlibs/back-ups rather than ‘catch phrases’…but you say tomato juice, I say vodka.

Snoop fans please note: the man is a walking catch phrase – there’s no way to narrow it down to just one.

What Is Rap’s Greatest Catch Phrase? – Round 1
Friday February 05th 2010,
Filed under: Face Off,Features,Not Your Average,The Unkut Guide,Video Clips,Vote Or Die
Written by:

In an attempt to stand-out from the crowd in the ever-expanding rap world, many rappers have adapted catchy phrases and ad-libs. Some are memorable, some are annoyingly addictive and others…not so much. Here’s some of the first ones that we thought of…thanks to Legend for the assist.

Aaron Fuchs Responds To Funkmaster Wizard Wiz
Tuesday February 02nd 2010,
Filed under: Face Off,In The Trenches,Not Your Average,Shots Fired
Written by:

Photo courtesy of Fat Lace.

I just received this letter from the CEO of Tuff City, in response to some comments Funkmaster Wizard Wiz made about him in this interview:

February 1, 2010

I’m sorry that it has taken so long, but I don’t troll the net obsessively and there were some remarks by Funkmaster Wizard Wiz in your interview from February 25, 2009 that I feel I must correct.

In the early 80s before rap was a business and any of us were businessmen, Tuff City’s calculus for signing a rapper was, “Does their level of artistry make them worth the trouble?” and no artist was more trouble despite being worth it than Funkmaster Wizard Wiz.

Is ‘Exhibit C’ the ‘Time’s Up’ of 2009?
Monday December 28th 2009,
Filed under: Face Off,Leaders Of The N00b School,Not Your Average
Written by:

If you fux wit Blog Rap, then there’s a good chance you’re typing out shit like “Jay Elec. ‘Exhibit C’ >>>>>> ” in every comment section and Twitter feed you can access. Admittedly, he seems to be the best of the current crop of Leaders Of The N00b School rappers, but the fact that he may have the worst handle in rap and seems to be display some emo tendencies is preventing me from wholeheartedly co-signing his movement at this stage.

Who Is The Best Producer On The Mic? – Round 2
Wednesday December 09th 2009,
Filed under: Face Off,Features,Not Your Average,The Unkut Opinion,Video Clips,Vote Or Die
Written by:

Seems like a few of you are pretty butt-hurt about the first round. Ha ha ha….jokes on you jack! We made another round! Since there was also a lot of confusion over the initial criteria, I’ve decided to extend the definition from producer’s who later rapped to anyone who is as respected for his beats as his rapping, so that all the DOOM stans don’t jump out the window.

Who Is The Best Producer On The Mic? – Round 1
Tuesday December 08th 2009,
Filed under: Face Off,Features,Not Your Average,The Unkut Opinion,Video Clips,Vote Or Die
Written by:

Tough question. Made even more difficult by the fact that many rapper’s have made beats for themselves, but aren’t necessarily classed as ‘producers’. KRS-One was credited as having produced most the early BDP records, but he also had DJ Doc and D-Nice helping out with the programming – so does he qualify here? Not really, because otherwise this could take for forever. To keep shit simple, I’m only including dudes who were known for their beats before they rapped or are more widely recognized for their MC status, which excludes people like Schoolly-D, Biz Markie and Lord Finesse.

5 Primo Beats Wasted On Wack Wenches…And 5 Dope Dames Who Delivered

Over the course of his extensive career being the boards, DJ Premier has served-up some knockin’ tracks to a handful of chick rappers. Here are a selection of the best and worst of these (Heather Hunter gets a pass, obviously).


What Is Hip-Hop’s Greatest Mixtape?
Tuesday August 18th 2009,
Filed under: Crates,Face Off,Features,Mix Tapes,Not Your Average,Tape Vaults,Vote Or Die
Written by:

And you thought figuring out rap’s greatest MC was tough? ‘Street Album’ style tapes like Mood Muzik 2 and The Champ Is Here will be dealt with next time…this is focusing on DJ tapes only.

The Contenders:

Started Off Good, Ended-Up Great – Rap’s Most Improved
Monday August 10th 2009,
Filed under: Face Off,Features,Not Your Average,The Unkut Opinion
Written by:

It’s one thing to shit on all these over-the-hill MC’s that need to put down the mic, but what about the flipside of the equation? The fact is, there are a rare breed of rapper dudes who didn’t peak on their debut and have actually developed into better lyricists over the years. Crazy talk, right? Not at all….

And The Winner Is…
Wednesday July 29th 2009,
Filed under: Announcements,Face Off,Vote Or Die
Written by:

In a hard-fought cage match, O.D.B. finally defeated Redman by a mere percentage point for the title of Rap’s Funniest Effin’ M.F. or whatever this shitty poll was called:

Ol’ Dirty Bastard (43%)
Redman (42%)
Flavor Flav (15%)

While I’m talking results, it’s worth mentioning the top three results when I asked What’s The Best Thing To Call Women Who You Aren’t Related To?:

Jump-Off (23%)
Bitch (20%, 127 Votes)
Chickenhead (17%, 112 Votes)

Finally, in the ‘Fantasy Rap Battle’ dept. we had Who Would Have Won A Face-To-Face Battle Between Biggie and Nas?

Biggie Smalls (44%)
Rapper Nas (39%)
Can’t Call It Else I Spoil It (17%)

‘Sheeeeeeeiiiit’ (c) Clay Davis…it looks like Kelis’ gravy-train can’t win for losing right now.

Who Is Rap’s King of Comedy? Final Round
Monday July 20th 2009,
Filed under: Face Off,Not Your Average,Sizzle-chest,Video Clips,Vote Or Die,Ya Moms
Written by:

After tallying the results from the first two rounds, Redman (23% in Round One) and Ol’ Dirty Bastard (35% in Round Two) move through to the final, where they have to face-off against the wildcard entry…that’s right, the most effed-up individual to ever pick-up a microphone – Flavor Flav! The real story here is the connection between your recreational drug intake and your comedic output…

Who Is Rap’s King of Comedy? Part 2

Looks like I forgot a boat-load of hilarious MC’s last time. Here’s another stab at it…

Eminem = Axl Rose?
Monday July 13th 2009,
Filed under: Face Off,Magazine Vaults,Not Your Average,Ya Moms
Written by:

Click to enlarge…pause!

Quality comparison of two musical mentalists, taken from the Feb. 2003 issue of Spin.

Att: Def Jux – Stay Off The Dick!
Thursday June 18th 2009,
Filed under: Biters In The City,Face Off,Sizzle-chest,Ya Moms
Written by:

P Brother‘s The Gas was the best rap album released in 2008. Yak Ballz is some third-rate Fondle ‘Em alumni who no one gives two shits about, but seems to enjoys ripping-off cover artwork.

Spotted by zeus.

Video: Nas Vs. Biggie – The Battle That Never Happened

Uptown tape king DJ Doo Wop threw me this exclusive blend video he made, which answers the question – What if Nas and Biggie had gone at each other on the same stage, verse for verse? Here’s how it might have gone down…

Who Would Have Won A Face-To-Face Battle Between Biggie and Nas?

View Results

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