As a rule, I prefer to change up the tried-and-tested hypothetical question of which celebrity you would like to shove into an active volcano with something a little more grimy. Not that Unkut Dot Com is any way, shape or form condoning the killing or causing grievous bodily harm to rappers, producers and deejays, but just for the sake of argument, let us suppose for a second that you were in a position to shove someone like Swizz Beatz in front of a bus without anybody suspecting foul play…who would you choose? Call it natural selection if you will…the culling of the less talented musical individuals for the betterment of our ears.
Don’t hold back now…the Unkut comment section is protected by doctor/patient confidentiality.
It seems that my internets stock has fallen so low that despite being asked to write about this song my contribution got lost in the sauce or something. The two of you who still drop by this tumbleweed ridden carcass of a site once a month may as well read it…
Enough with playing the original vocals at the start of the song already…that shit ain’t cute nor original. The good news is that the main chop reminds me of the beat Diamond D did for Master Rob when they were the Ultimate Force. The bad news is that the rapping sounds like it was recorded through a tin can with a piece of string, or worse still, a diamond-encrusted Macbook with a shitty built-in mic. You guys couldn’t have copped a decent microphone for the yacht? Dealing with standard Private Jet Rap topics (which for the most part seem to revolve around flying on private jets. Who knew?), it’s not without it’s charms, although I can’t help but imagine what another duo with even a sliver of hunger still rattling around their rib cages might have done with this. I’m joking, obviously – I’m sure if I wait another five minutes they’ll be 18,000 freestyles over this beat flooding the internets for our ‘enjoyment’.
The first of a six-part series from the Internets Celebrities showcasing New York City from a different angle. Please note: anybody who doesn’t go into the water at least up to their waist is fronting!
Directed by: Casimir Nozkowski
Edited by: Dino Ostrowsky
Music by: Bless-1
Producers: Robin Oye, Jesse Wilson, Cornelius van Gorkom
It was a big night for non-progressive rap fans in New York, with the first Mobb Deep show in over three years popping-off live and direct next to Times Square. Would Capone sneak in and attempt to hit Prodigy with a bar stool, Keith Murray style? Or would a live rendition of ‘Shook Ones’ lead to a number of drunken brawls in the crowd? The third, and most likely scenario of course, was that none of the above would happen and it would be a uneventful rap concert in the ‘New’ New York, where even the corniest white rap fan could dance around like a moron with no fear of getting smacked upside the head by a less happy-go-lucky audience member. (more…)
I haven’t had time to mess around with my internets between all the drinking I’ve been doing in the fine city, but I did have time to pen a quick review for an album from some douche called Tyler, The Creator:
Dallas Penn sez: All I’m saying is that we might should kill more people when someone’s death can fix the economy like this. Gaddafhy? Kim Jong Iliad? Andy Rooney? Let’s do it for America!
So I hit the streets of New York on Wednesday, and so far I’ve hit a bunch of open bar events, dropped into the Combat Jack Show on PNC, tried out a few flavors of 40 Oz. malt liqour and some 4LOKO, visited The Source offices and a few food spots…and of course met a bunch of Internets!
Yesterday I rolled through to see the Producer Panel at the All Access Music Conference with Dallas Penn, Matt Raz and DJ Franchise, where I found out the following actual facts: (more…)
The awful truth is that rap bloggers are essentially glorified publicists. You can pick and choose who you ‘support’ or ‘expose’ but essentially all you’re doing is selecting which angle you want to roll with. Even if your blog focuses on old records, you’re essentially just promoting some European kid’s next Random Rap ebay auction. Writing reviews is basically an exercise in vanity, since 90% of the people reading the review already have the album anyway, and the only thing you might possibly achieve is ruffling the feathers of the over-sensitive artists who sent you the stuff in the first place. The idea that rap blogs are dictating radio or sales in any major way is laughable, and the theory that anyone actually values the opinion of anyone on the Rap Internets is even more of a joke. The only reason anyone visits one hip-hop site over the other is that it happens to be slightly less annoying than the other ones, or maybe doesn’t post as much crap that you hate. (more…)
When the crew over at Complex decided they needed to put together a definitive list of the 50 Greatest Queensbridge Rap Songs Of All Time, who else were they gonna call? As is the nature of such projects, there was a little give-and-take between my initial chart and the finished result, but that’s part of the challenge and I’m more than happy with the final result:
I’m not even going to attempt to explain who the Internets Celebrities are – that’s what the ‘About’ section of their site is for, dummies! Okay, since you’re clearly too lazy and/or hungover to crawl over to your laptop and wipe the Cheezel dust from your fingers, I’ll provide a Twitter-proof rundown in less than 140 characters: Dallas Penn, Rafi Kam and Casimir Nozkowski made Ghetto Big Mac, Bodega and Checkmate, hit Sundance, and got 3 million views in the process. (more…)
