Video: Star and Buc Wild Show, 4 March 2013

I’m rolling with Troi Torain‘s show on a daily basis. This was a one of the more entertaining episodes of late.



Video: Prince Paul and DJ Pforreal – Paul Vs. Paul, Part 4
Sunday March 03rd 2013,
Filed under: Art of Facts,Old Moufs,Sizzle-chest,Strong Island,Video Clips
Written by:

More Dew Doo Man madness.

The duo debate important topics such as dance styles, workouts, slang, mustaches, Auto-Tune, and analog vs digital reverb.



Bobbito Ethering Ricky Powell On WKCR, 1993

The clear highlight of the reunion show was this timeless interaction between Bobbito Garcia and Rickey Powell during a 1993 episode of The Stretch Armstrong Show. I couldn’t resist but upload it to YouTube for prosperity posterity.



Stream: The Stretch Armstrong Show Reunion [22 February, 2013]

streth

The greatest rap radio show of the 90’s had one more go-around at 89 tech 9 the other night as Stretch Armstrong and Bobbito shared some classic tapes of the show from 1993. While the live stream was straining under the weight of all the old heads trying to tune in across the globe, I was able to catch the authentic 90’s flashback of using Real Player for the first time in fifteen years. Be on the look-out for the priceless ethering that Ricky Powell caught when he called into the show way back when.



Video: The Star and Buc Wild Show, 15 February 2013
Saturday February 16th 2013,
Filed under: In The Trenches,Non-Rapper Dudes,Sizzle-chest,Video Clips,Ya Moms,You Mad
Written by:

Here’s the latest episode of the Star and Buc Wild Show, which is live streamed on YouTube at 12pm every weekday and then rebroadcast on Shot 97. Basically it consists of Star shitting on people, dudes calling-up to make sure that Star got their donation to play their song and various other fuckery. Star might be showing his age by the fact that he still owns a Blackberry and has a Yahoo email address, but he’s lost none of that hate in his heart, which is something that Unkut Dot Com has to respect. You can also cop his book for free ninety nine if you still believe that reading is fundamental.



Ten Rap Ballads That Will Make You Want To Stab Yourself In The Face With A Broken Bottle
Thursday February 14th 2013,
Filed under: Features,Listicles,Sizzle-chest,The 80's Files,Unkut Gets Emo,Video Clips
Written by:

worldclass-500-122811

There was once an unwritten law that said that all rap albums must contain at least one “slow jam” to attract the “female demographic”. Despite some rare exceptions (MC Shan’s “Left Me Lonely”, Kool G Rap’s “She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not” and Kid Capri’s “This Is What You Came Here For”), these love raps were shameful blights on the discographies of otherwise respectable MCs. Here are ten particularly painful examples:
(more…)



Video: White People Performing Public Enemy Songs
Friday January 04th 2013,
Filed under: Internets,Jokes On You,Sizzle-chest,Video Clips
Written by:

PublicEnemy-Cagney

Like Public Enemy? Love white people? Then you are in for a treat! Here are white folks channeling their inner “prophets of rage” in the name of all things cover version.
(more…)



Video: How To Be Hip-Hop Tutorial
Saturday October 27th 2012,
Filed under: DJ Sheep's VHS Vault,Jokes On You,Sizzle-chest,The 80's Files,Video Clips
Written by:

Part 3 of DJ Sheep’s VHS Vault schools us on how to be ‘hip-hop’, according to these two helpful fellows. This is the kind of thing that I’m sure the Rap Genius dudes would appreciate.



Video: Fat Guy Attempts to Break on Japanese Talk Show
Friday October 26th 2012,
Filed under: DJ Sheep's VHS Vault,Sizzle-chest,The 80's Files,Video Clips
Written by:

The second installment of DJ Sheep’s VHS Vault brings us the wonder of almost falling off the stage while trying to do backspin’s in a puddle of water while cruel hosts taunt you without mercy.



Video: The Illest Beastie Boys Performance Of All Time

Introducing a new Unkut video series – DJ Sheep‘s VHS Vault, Episode 1:

MCA, King Ad-Rock, Mike D and DJ Hurricane make an unruly appearance on Japanese TV during their glory years at Def Jam. Thanks to the wonders of live broadcasting, we get to witness a cameo appearance from Ricky Powell (aka The Rickster) involving a bed, a chick in a tight dress and an ice cream. So many classic scenes and bonus lines including ‘Fondle my balls with your fingers’ and ‘With your oriental pussy you can suck my dick’

Easily the finest moment in their long career…



Unkut Meets Negroes On Ice [Prince Paul and DJ Pforreal]
Tuesday October 23rd 2012,
Filed under: Interviews,Sizzle-chest,Strong Island
Written by:

After checking out the Negroes On Ice LP a couple of times, I thought it might be worth talking to Prince Paul and his son, DJ Pforreal in an attempt to try and figure out why on earth anyone would want to release a rap comedy album in this day and age…

Robbie: Did both of you put the story for Negroes On Ice together?

DJ Pforreal: Me and my dad have the same sense of humor so it was somewhat easy putting the project together. It was no thinking really behind it.

Prince Paul: You could tell the whole record was really no thinking behind it! [laughs] It goes from brain to mouth! There’s no filter in between. To answer your question, the basic gist of the story is just us sitting down together and coming up with, ‘OK, and then what happened? Alright, he’s running! And then what happens?’ It was fun, it was definitely both our senses of humor.
(more…)



Who Would You Like To Throw Onto The Third Rail?
Tuesday September 06th 2011,
Filed under: Classic Ignorance,Internets,Sizzle-chest,Vote Or Die
Written by:

As a rule, I prefer to change up the tried-and-tested hypothetical question of which celebrity you would like to shove into an active volcano with something a little more grimy. Not that Unkut Dot Com is any way, shape or form condoning the killing or causing grievous bodily harm to rappers, producers and deejays, but just for the sake of argument, let us suppose for a second that you were in a position to shove someone like Swizz Beatz in front of a bus without anybody suspecting foul play…who would you choose? Call it natural selection if you will…the culling of the less talented musical individuals for the betterment of our ears.

Don’t hold back now…the Unkut comment section is protected by doctor/patient confidentiality.



Even Free Rap Shows Are A Rip-Off Now

So there was a free show the other night featuring Jean Grae and Pharoahe Monch, which isn’t really a big deal since I never really pay to get in anyways and I don’t really know a song that either of ’em have done for the last five years, but eff it. First thing I noticed that were a lot of broads around, which is pretty unusual for a scumbag spot like this one but always a positive. Did all this gals roll up to hear ‘Simon Says’? On closer inspection, I noticed that 85% of these chicks appeared to be on some of that old rug munch status, and then the penny dropped. ‘Oh shit, Jean got this girl-on-girl rap audience in a headlock!’. There also seemed to be your usual fudge pudge of type-Emo rap fans and J. Bieber wannabes, which seems to be par for the course in this fruit basket we call hip-hop now.
(more…)



The Unkut Film Critic Reviews Kanye West’s Runaway
Tuesday November 09th 2010,
Filed under: Not Your Average,Reviews,Shots Fired,Sizzle-chest,Unkut Theatre,Video Clips
Written by:

Highly esteem film critic Rodger Tossenpot just submitted his thoughts on Kanye’s latest piece of ‘creative jeanious [sic].

No one man should have this much Power. The power to make me weep at the frailty of the human condition, laugh at our faults and marvel at the beauty of Great Art. Many dismissed the idea of Mr. West directing a short film as self-indulgent navel gazing, but only because haven’t experienced the majesty of his vision. Combining the story-telling prowess of the Brothers Grimm with the gritty edge of a young Scorsese, Mr. West has delivered our generation’s Citizen Kane via this 35 minute Rap Opera.
(more…)



Salute To Weed Carriers Version 3.0
Monday September 06th 2010,
Filed under: Announcements,Art of Facts,Get Off My Link,Sizzle-chest,Weed Holders
Written by:

The people demanded it. And I answered…

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Weed Carrying But Were Afraid To Ask

Related: Download The Combat Jack Show, 3 Sept, 2010 [Feat. The Weed Carrier Report]



Why Rap Doesn’t Age Well

“These kids don’t appreciate music from last week, let alone ten years ago!”

This is something that a lot of people – artists in particular – like to complain about. It’s a valid point though. Any mention of ‘older rappers’ in the media draws the inevitable comparisons with the Rolling Stones, who continue to tour despite that the fact that they’re all over 100 years old (not to mention the fact that Keith Richards has been dead for the last 25 years). Classic rock albums from Led Zepplin, Pink Floyd and The Beatles continue to be discovered and enjoyed by each new generation of music fans – or at least those who take the time to study their shit – while many staples of great hip-hop long-players are relegated to the occasional blog post on knowyaraphistory.blogspot.com (note: may not be a real URL).
(more…)



Video: Ras Kass featuring Mel Gibson – Pussy From Behind

Who said that celebrity phone call recordings, auto-tune and shitty beats don’t ever make for a good combination?



More Backstage Thievery Down-Under

Just because Australia was once filled with the crooks that England didn’t want doesn’t mean that it’s a nation of ‘tea-leafs’, right? Here’s the latest installment of people stealing shit from Americans On Rap Tours. While Talib Kweli was able to get his laptop back (but not his fitted), it seems that this story has a happier ending for a certain teetotalling Canadian beat-smith:
(more…)



Reviewing The Reviewers

This was amusing…four members of the Internets Commenting Committee who were less than thrilled with my opinion on Kanye‘s song:

fiasco says:
(more…)



The Kathy Bates of Rap?

Here’s the good news…there was no fruity shit going on between Guru and Solar. Everything else? Fucked the fuck up.

Phillip Mlynar investigates for the Village Voice

Or you can keep track of the latest thanks to the broad who hacked Solar’s email via this Twitter feed.



Internets Reporting That Loses
Wednesday April 28th 2010,
Filed under: Announcements,Get Off My Link,Internets,Sizzle-chest
Written by:

Even though it’s well-known that The RZA doesn’t actually run his Twitter account, that hasn’t stopped some razor-sharp news hound reporting the ‘scoop’ that work has begun on Genius’ Liquid Swords 2.

Here’s RZA’s confirmation from when he was interviewed in July 2009:

I’ve noticed that you’re a big Twitterer…

Me? I Twitter a lot? No, it’s not me. [Laughing] Hey, don’t believe everything you Twit! It’s not my page. But I’m an artist – so it’s probably someone running that shit. Don’t believe everything you Twit, yo!

That’s not to say there’s no truth to the announcement, I’m just sayin’ though…



Product Placement
Friday March 05th 2010,
Filed under: Sizzle-chest,Ya Moms
Written by:

The artist formerly known as Tony Bones from The Home Office put together this ad for the Villain In Black‘s new range of Swap Meet Snacks, which got me thinking – what are some rap endorsements that need to happen? Tim Dog‘s Extra Beef Burgers? Lords of the Underground‘s Squidgy Set? Neek The Exotic‘s Exotic Spices of The Orient? OJ Da Juiceman‘s Fruit and Vegetable Juicemaker?



Write Your Own Papoose Punchline
Wednesday February 10th 2010,
Filed under: Internets,Not Your Average,Sizzle-chest,Unkut Originals
Written by:

Some of the highlights from my Pap ghostwriting session from last year. Feel free to add your own.

“You rappers are like Firefox, I got tabs on you”

“MC’s are like Laserdiscs, ‘cos don’t nobody play you”

“Rappers are solar eclipses, ‘cos you ain’t seein’ me”

“You rappers are like dead bee’s to me, you got no buzz”

“You got no bread, I roll up and bust your bagel/you’re girl
licked my breadstick, I shot crumbs on the table”
(more…)



The Rap Names That Jay Electronica Rejected
Sunday January 17th 2010,
Filed under: Leaders Of The N00b School,Not Your Average,Sizzle-chest
Written by:

It’s amazing what you can find when you hack someone’s Gmail account. This just arrived in my inbox thanks to an anonymous tipster – the rap handles that didn’t make the final cut for the worst-named n00b-School rapper ever (who, ironically, is one of the better trendy new rappers out there):

1. Joe Garage
2. Jimmy Techno
3. Jeff Reggaeton
4. Jerry Crunk
5. Jack House
6. James Trip-Hop
7. Jason Folktronica
8. Jeremy Jungle
9. Graham Grime
10. Alex Acid-Jazz
11. Derek Dubstep
12. Ian Industrial
13. Harry Hip-House
14. Henry Hi-NRG
15. Harold Happy-Hardcore
16. Eric Eurobeat
17. Terrance 2-Step
18. Gary Ghettotech
19. Steven Speedcore
20. Eddie Electroclash



Six Reasons Why Rap Is Gonna Suck In 2010…
Tuesday December 29th 2009,
Filed under: Not Your Average,Sizzle-chest,The Unkut Opinion
Written by:

1. Rappers With Feelings – Who told all these Leaders Of The N00b School rappers that rhyming about being depressed, lonely and emotionally vulnerable is the what’s hot out on the mean streets of the rap game? Stick to the script, for fucks sake. The only time it’s acceptable to show any sign of emotion is when you’re:

a) Making a song dedicated to your deceased mother/buddy/pet.

b) See above.
(more…)