Two fatties at the height of their respective powers were taken from this small planet in the month of March – one, a waffle-guzzling comedian with an appetite for destruction. The other – the brother of the guy from K-9. Sixteen and thirty-one years ago, respectively, these two hedonistic maniacs checked-out, leaving gigantic shoes that have yet to be filled. But who was the most brolic of these two foodaholics? Here’s a super-scientifical breakdown:

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The CRC is deeper than rap.

No Country For Old (Rap) Men: The Conservative Rap Coalition Style Guide

Time for another Complex list, this time around on a topic that’s close to my cold, cold heart – record label history. With 2013 marking 30 years in the business, I wrote about the best fifteen years of the iconic label, based on my highly-scientific formula of Sales x Influence x Artistic Merit x Coin Flip.

The 15 Best Years In Def Jam History

Many cynical rap fans complain that today’s new rapper dudes are bufoonish clowns and a disgrace to hip-hop, but perhaps we should be more appreciative of these attempts to inject a little humor into the post-Fat Boys rap landscape. Here are eight rapper’s who are no joke:
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It’s tough being the Big Man On Campus in the wacky world of Rap Magazines. The Source had a great run where they were basically unchallenged for years – despite some good work from Hip Hop Connection in the UK, they couldn’t match the access that the Mind Squadd had to cutting-edge New York music for the first half of the 90′s. The influence that The Source had also made them a prime target for disgruntled rappers, all of whom seemed to believe that everything they released was worth “Five Mics” (you may recall Outkast complaining that their debut “only” received 4.5 mics in later tracks). Sometimes it was a little more personal, as was the case for Ice-T, Public Enemy and Cypress Hill, who were all directly criticised in columns and decided to fire back on record. The following is a collection of some of the more noteworthy attacks on the house that Sheck built.
*Updated*
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Chow down on this history of Food Rap. The Unkut Wine Matching Course will be taking enrollments at the start of 2013.

No Country For Old (Rap) Men: Food Raps

There goes another in year in rap. As Weirdo Rap and EDM Rap takes hold of the youf, it’s getting a little more difficult to pick-out 40 great examples of non-progressive rap that Mitt Romney would approve of. Neo-Con Hip-Hop to some. East-Coast Elitist music to others. We are the Conservative Rap Coalition, and we are legion. Sit back, grab a beer (or something stronger), and let this tape transport you back to a time when rap didn’t suck as much, and when drums mattered, loops were important and rapping about how awesome you were was still cutting-edge.

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Attack of the old moufs…

No Country For Old (Rap) Men – Old Man Rap vs Grown Man Rap

As more and more new rap music continues to suck, the task of finding recent shit that doesn’t make me want to cut my face off with a broken bottle and slowly peel the skin off has become more and more difficult. Naturally, all of these songs are old news on the internets by now but if you’re reading this that clearly isn’t an issue for you anyway.

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There have been some talented gene pools in hip-hop, where two brothers from the same mother have both shown and proved on skill and talent alone. And then there’s these guys…who needed a weed carrier when you’re own flesh and blood could carry your stash?
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It seems that every other week a new Rap Genre emerges from someone’s twisted imagination. Since it’s been almost a year since the first Unkut Guide on the subject, it ain’t no mystery that a lot of effed-up new styles have appeared. Without a doubt, the most prominent would have to be the Soap Opera Rap movement. This hideous new breed of cRap is the mutated step-child of Wrestlemania Rap, which was started by Melle Mel when he stole Mikey D’s NMS belt and finally perfected by Curtis aka 50 Cent and his endless beefs with other rappers who he eventually makes shitty songs with (see: 50 & Jadakiss’ appropriately named ‘Dump‘).
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Thought that Bushwick Bill was the only player in the Short Rap game? You thought wrong. Actually, you’re pretty much correct, but there have been a couple of other minor contenders that you may have forgotten…
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Rock is one of the foundations of this great music we call hip-hop, having provided so many of the founding break beats that we all know like the back of our hands. At some point in the early 90′s, however, some evil genius figured out that really shitty rock and metal groups should get on the rap bandwagon, having been mortal enemies for years before that. The end result was of course Fred Durst, who’s only notable achievement was banging a bunch of girls who were way out of his league. Here are some of the Rap Rock collaborations that will make you want to take to your ears with a rusty razor…
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When the crew over at Complex decided they needed to put together a definitive list of the 50 Greatest Queensbridge Rap Songs Of All Time, who else were they gonna call? As is the nature of such projects, there was a little give-and-take between my initial chart and the finished result, but that’s part of the challenge and I’m more than happy with the final result:

Unkut.com Presents: The 50 Greatest Queensbridge Rap Songs Of All Time

If there is one tried-and-tested topic of talk to get rap addicts animated, it’s imaginary battles. You know, shit like, ‘What would have happened if the Fu-Schnickens had squared-off against Das-Efx, yo?’ OK, maybe not so much that example, but you get the idea. Here are a few to chew over:

LL Cool J vs Kool Moe Dee, circa 1985: Like it or not, but Teddy Riley‘s syrupy New Jack tracks lost the war for KMD when he took it to Jack The Ripper in the late 80′s. But if LL had tried to take-out Moe Dee in ’84, ’85, when he was still wet behind the ears? The Space Invader of Rap would have buried Todd.

KRS-One vs. Rakim, Big Daddy Kane and Kool G Rap: Maybe it was all that Crazy Glue I was huffing this afternoon, but I have a feeling that KS-One in his prime could have taken out any of these three legends in a live face-off. Ra and G Rap were never really battle specialists to my knowledge, and even though Kane wrecked a few contenders in his early days, I’ve got a feeling that the Blastmaster‘s off-the-head ability and general blood-thirsty attitude when you caught him on an off day could have been enough to knock the mighty Dark Gable onto the canvas, in the right conditions.
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