No Country For Old (Rap) Men: Rap Songs (Not) For Your Moms
Thursday May 07th 2015,
Filed under: No Country For Old (Rap) Men,Web Work,Ya Moms
Written by:

worst mom

With Mother’s Day coming up this weekend, here are a few tunes you might want to ensure don’t come up on the car stereo while your driving your the woman who brought you into this world to lunch, else she decide to remove you from the face of the planet in a lot less time – or just scold you like you still wear short pants.

No Country For Old (Rap) Men: Rap Songs (Not) For Your Moms

Video: The Star and Buc Wild Show, 15 February 2013
Saturday February 16th 2013,
Filed under: In The Trenches,Non-Rapper Dudes,Sizzle-chest,Video Clips,Ya Moms,You Mad
Written by:

Here’s the latest episode of the Star and Buc Wild Show, which is live streamed on YouTube at 12pm every weekday and then rebroadcast on Shot 97. Basically it consists of Star shitting on people, dudes calling-up to make sure that Star got their donation to play their song and various other fuckery. Star might be showing his age by the fact that he still owns a Blackberry and has a Yahoo email address, but he’s lost none of that hate in his heart, which is something that Unkut Dot Com has to respect. You can also cop his book for free ninety nine if you still believe that reading is fundamental.

Eff A Horrorcore
Wednesday May 11th 2011,
Filed under: Albums,Internets,Reviews,The Unkut Opinion,Web Work,Ya Moms
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I haven’t had time to mess around with my internets between all the drinking I’ve been doing in the fine city, but I did have time to pen a quick review for an album from some douche called Tyler, The Creator:

What’s The Consensus? The Internet’s Top Tastemakers React To Tyler, The Creator’s “Goblin”

Build Your Own Rap Group With Extra Swag
Friday February 18th 2011,
Filed under: Internets,Not Your Average,Shots Fired,Unkut Originals,Ya Moms
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Even Free Rap Shows Are A Rip-Off Now

So there was a free show the other night featuring Jean Grae and Pharoahe Monch, which isn’t really a big deal since I never really pay to get in anyways and I don’t really know a song that either of ’em have done for the last five years, but eff it. First thing I noticed that were a lot of broads around, which is pretty unusual for a scumbag spot like this one but always a positive. Did all this gals roll up to hear ‘Simon Says’? On closer inspection, I noticed that 85% of these chicks appeared to be on some of that old rug munch status, and then the penny dropped. ‘Oh shit, Jean got this girl-on-girl rap audience in a headlock!’. There also seemed to be your usual fudge pudge of type-Emo rap fans and J. Bieber wannabes, which seems to be par for the course in this fruit basket we call hip-hop now.

Video: Ras Kass featuring Mel Gibson – Pussy From Behind

Who said that celebrity phone call recordings, auto-tune and shitty beats don’t ever make for a good combination?

The Kathy Bates of Rap?

Here’s the good news…there was no fruity shit going on between Guru and Solar. Everything else? Fucked the fuck up.

Phillip Mlynar investigates for the Village Voice

Or you can keep track of the latest thanks to the broad who hacked Solar’s email via this Twitter feed.

Product Placement
Friday March 05th 2010,
Filed under: Sizzle-chest,Ya Moms
Written by:

The artist formerly known as Tony Bones from The Home Office put together this ad for the Villain In Black‘s new range of Swap Meet Snacks, which got me thinking – what are some rap endorsements that need to happen? Tim Dog‘s Extra Beef Burgers? Lords of the Underground‘s Squidgy Set? Neek The Exotic‘s Exotic Spices of The Orient? OJ Da Juiceman‘s Fruit and Vegetable Juicemaker?

Rap Karaoke Is The Future
Friday December 11th 2009,
Filed under: Sizzle-chest,Steady Bootleggin',Ya Moms
Written by:

This just arrived in the inbox via UK correspondent crate digga. Basically, if the top 50 rappers of the world were someone wiped-out in nuclear explosion, this karaoke master would be be able to hold it down for dolo….assuming the rest of the population had their hearing destroyed by that same nuke attack.

The Rap Karaoke King – ‘Rap Medley’

LL Cool J Vs. Canibus Revisited

Predictably, my comment the other day that LL ‘never lost a battle’ ruffled a few feathers among Canibus fans. LL vs. Kool Moe Dee was already covered a while back, but I guess there’s no other way to settle this than to dig out all the garbage songs recorded in this drawn-out and unsatisfying war of words.

Don’t Let The Door Hit You On The Way Out – Rappers Who Should Quit
Thursday August 06th 2009,
Filed under: Features,Not Your Average,Old Moufs,The Unkut Opinion,Ya Moms
Written by:

With dudes who haven’t even dropped official albums almost retiring, as well as BS publicity stunts like Jay-Z pretending to throw in the towel after The Black Album, it begs the question:

If you could force one MC to retire/quit today, who would it be and why?

WTF Remixes 2 – Kill Me Now…
Tuesday August 04th 2009,
Filed under: Not Your Average,Sizzle-chest,Steady Bootleggin',Ya Moms
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More musical abortions to throw yourself under a bus to…

Black Eyed Peas – ‘They Don’t Want Music’ (Pete Rock Remix)

PR is considered to be hip-hop’s king of the remix, but even the #1 Soul Brother wasn’t able to fight the power of Fergie, who once again proves that she’s musical Kryptonite.

KRS-One – ‘Rappaz R N Danja’ (Rock Remix)

Tom Morello from Rage Against The Machine somehow manages to fuck-up one of the Blastmasta‘s last great solo tracks.

A Tribe Called Quest – ‘I Left My Wallet In El Segundo’ (Vampire Mix)

Hardly the most memorable slice of Q-Tip‘s legacy, however thanks to the efforts of a pre-Fatboy Slim era Norman Cook, we get a Ragga-Lite remake. Lick a shot…or not.

Adrianna Evans – ‘Seein’ Is Believing’ (Jeru Remix)

If The Damaja‘s Premier-free solo albums didn’t convince you that he should never be allowed near a beat machine ever again, this tinny remix for some Loud Records D-List warbler will make you a believer.

The Police – ‘Roxanne ’97’ (Puff Daddy Remix)

Just when you’re ready to Kurt Cobain yourself, it gets worse…Pras from the Fu-Gees raps!
*pulls trigger*

Who Is Rap’s King of Comedy? Final Round
Monday July 20th 2009,
Filed under: Face Off,Not Your Average,Sizzle-chest,Video Clips,Vote Or Die,Ya Moms
Written by:

After tallying the results from the first two rounds, Redman (23% in Round One) and Ol’ Dirty Bastard (35% in Round Two) move through to the final, where they have to face-off against the wildcard entry…that’s right, the most effed-up individual to ever pick-up a microphone – Flavor Flav! The real story here is the connection between your recreational drug intake and your comedic output…

Who Is Rap’s King of Comedy? Part 2

Looks like I forgot a boat-load of hilarious MC’s last time. Here’s another stab at it…

Who Is Rap’s King of Comedy? Part 1

The rap game is full of clowns you say? Sure, there are some jokers out there, but what about the dudes who are actually funny on purpose? My gut reaction would be to say Biz Markie, but what about the other comedic MC’s out there? Apologies to Blowfly and Bobby Jimmy & The Critters fans, YouTube failed you.

Eminem = Axl Rose?
Monday July 13th 2009,
Filed under: Face Off,Magazine Vaults,Not Your Average,Ya Moms
Written by:

Click to enlarge…pause!

Quality comparison of two musical mentalists, taken from the Feb. 2003 issue of Spin.

Six Great Anti-Fudge Rap Songs

It was fun while it lasted, but it seems that Unkut’s title as the “home of homophobia in the hip-hop blogopshere” has been brought to a close by the arrival of Rap Gaydar, a new blog which lets readers submit their favorite suspect lyric or photo. As I pass the proverbial torch over to the new kings of this fudge rap thing, it’s only right that I do one final drop on the topic of ‘up the coat’ rap – or in this case, rap that throws teh ghey’s under a bus.

Lakey The Kid – ‘No Homo’

Still as brilliant as when I posted it back in 2006. Lake covers a variety of important issues here, from ‘down-low’ dudes giving broads the germ to dudes turning sweet after being locked-up and how Lake doesn’t want them dude’s hanging around his kids. Say word.

Ol’ Dirty, Meth and RZA Terrorize UK Radio (1997)

“This is the Dirt Dog you pretty motherfucker! You sound like a bunch of sex!”

Nervous British rap fans + English jump-offs + insane Ason Unique = Comedy Gold.

Ol’ Dirty Bastard, RZA and Method Man Live In London On Radio 1 With Tim Westwood

Att: Def Jux – Stay Off The Dick!
Thursday June 18th 2009,
Filed under: Biters In The City,Face Off,Sizzle-chest,Ya Moms
Written by:

P Brother‘s The Gas was the best rap album released in 2008. Yak Ballz is some third-rate Fondle ‘Em alumni who no one gives two shits about, but seems to enjoys ripping-off cover artwork.

Spotted by zeus.

Five Hip-Hop Twitter Accounts I Had To Unfollow
Monday June 08th 2009,
Filed under: Announcements,Internets,Not Your Average,Sizzle-chest,Ya Moms
Written by:


Can someone please explain the meaning of ‘less is more’ to dude? 7,000 updates is pretty effed up.


TOO MANY CAPS and seems to constantly harass broads on there.


Comes off as a kinda self-righteous and constantly uses words like “petwition” and “tweeple”.

Lord Jamar

If I wanted a quote for the day, I’d buy a desktop calender.


“Morning Twiddies!” *vomits*

Bonus: All Pr0n stars

I don’t care about the new asparagus soup recipe you found, and why are you worried about eating organic when you just filmed an ATM scene?

Best Slang Names For Dames

A case could quite easily be argued that women have been dealt a bad hand by the vast majority of rap songs, but I say otherwise. Let’s just consider how many timeless terms of endearment have been created to describe the “good-time gals” that most people get into the music game to meet:

Chappelle Comedy Column In The Source, 1992
Sunday May 31st 2009,
Filed under: Magazine Vaults,Not Your Average,Weekend Warriors,Ya Moms
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A young Dave Chappelle cracks some funnies for The Source‘s Punchline column back when House of Pain were considered “cutting edge” and “X” hats were a must-have item.

Real Recognize…I Wrote The Book
Monday May 11th 2009,
Filed under: Get Off My Link,Internets,Not Your Average,Video Clips,Ya Moms
Written by:

^ This looks effin’ epic…..

Dallas Penn and eskay let the people know that Unkut Dot Com is in their personal Top 5, which holds a lot more weight with me than where I got placed on the ‘official’ VYBE [sic] list. Maybe it had something to do with my comments that I’d “rather be in Hustler” after they “threw me a bone” and ranked Unkut #19 in the “30 Best Music Web Spots” list from 2007….

Drew Huge wrote a great piece about fallen soldier Tony D for The Guardian.

Hilarious review of the new Slim Shady record by Combat Jack.

Spine Magazine THIMK dug-up a Leaders of the New School demo from the ill-fated T.I.M.E. sessions called Emotional.

Superb recollections of the legendary Dondi, written by the most recent subject of an Unkut interview – Dante Ross.

Another Hipster Rap article. No mention of the Biggest Douchebag In Hipster Rap Poll? Research fail.

8 Rap Pics That Make You SMH
Monday April 27th 2009,
Filed under: Features,Fudge Rap,Not Your Average,Sizzle-chest,Ya Moms
Written by:

Sure, Biz is known for his wacky stunts but…

Asher Roth’s Guide To Frat Rap – Part Deux
Wednesday April 22nd 2009,
Filed under: Announcements,Fudge Rap,Sizzle-chest,Ya Moms
Written by:

It seems that I under-estimated the amount of Frat Rap out there in yesterdays piece, so to keep all you Surf MC’s fans happy I’ve asked Kid Roth to return to conclude our College Rap Wrap-Up