Who Is Rap’s Ultimate MILF?

There are plenty of attractive women in hip-hop – the problem is that most of them are just nameless video chicks. When you examine the finest looking rap dames who’ve had kids, the field narrows considerably. Factor in such requirements as aging gracefully and not going mental, and the list is reduced to a mere slither. As a result of hours of extensive research, Unkut Dot Com been able to select what we consider to be the eight hottest rap MILF’s in the game and randomly match them up against each other on the basis of how good they looked way back when, how fly they still look and what talent they might possess to further add to their overall appeal. Sure, you might argue that this kind of objectification of women is further reinforcement of the ‘Man’s World’ mentality that dominates hip-hop, and you’d probably be correct. But spare a thought for the eye candy of limited ability who might otherwise never garner a mention in the columns of this fine website. Don’t they deserve their time to shine too?

Round 1

The Real Roxanne Vs Shorty No Mas

How To Get Unfollowed By Unkut In Twitter
Friday March 06th 2009,
Filed under: Announcements,Internets,Not Your Average,The Unkut Opinion,Ya Moms
Written by:

10. Excessive use of the terms “swagger”, “hustle” and “grind” in reference to your daily activities.

9. Telling us how hard you’re grinding/hustling.

8. Frequent use of “Good morning world!” and “Night night!” when you wake up/go to bed.

7. Making up “cute” names for your followers, such as “Tweeples”, “Tweeties”, “Tweeps”, “Twits” etc.

6. Any and all references to meetings.

5. Play-by-play calls of whatever sport your watching on TV.

4. More than five links to your shitty posts a day.

3. Shameless name-dropping about how who you’re in the studio with.

2. Talking about what you’re eating without any possible comedic value.

1. Being a boring douchbag douchebag.

Take It Personal.

The Ten Twitter Commandments

I been in this game for months, now I’m an A.D.D. animal
It’s rules to this shit, I wrote me a manual
A step by step booklet for you to get
your Twitter game on track, don’t Wale yourself Jack
Rule nombre uno: let everyone know
every efin’ thing you do, cause you know
Hundreds of followers breed jealousy ‘specially
if that update fucked up, suck your teeth up
Number two: never let em know your next move
Twitterati hate silence but heart text violence
Eat a dick hipster rappers (uh-huh)
I done typed mad updates while driving state to state
Number three: never trust no-bo-dy
Your moms’ll follow ya Tweets, that’s type corny
PR’s spam ya shit, for that fast buck
try to game a dame to tear that ass up
Number four: know you heard this before
Name-dropping is frontin’, shit’s a straight bore
Number five: never Tweet about biz in the street
I don’t care if it sounds tough, someone’ll call ya bluff
Number six: that god damn phone credit, dead it
If you’re not on unlimited browsing then forget it,
Seven: this rule is so underrated
Keep your blog and Twitter account completely seperated
Updates and posts don’t mix like two dicks and no bitch
Find yourself in serious shit
Number eight: never reveal your plans to you-know-who
Them cats that follow your feed can start blogs too
Number nine shoulda been number one to me
If you’re drunk out your mind stay off the updates homey (uh-huh)
If Twitters think you lyin’, they ain’t buyin’
They be sittin on your RSS, waitin to text more mess
Number ten: a strong word called obsession
Twitter will get you hit by a bus at the intersection
Tap out the Crackberry while you crossing the street
Facebook lost, that dame shit can’t even compete, uhh

Unkut @ Twitter

Doo-Wop – ‘Ten Tape Commandments’

Six Songs For Ya Moms

Any cheeseball can make a song about how great their mother is, but why should we give a shit? Here are six songs that may make your old earth cry a river (or at least get off the pipe).

Audio Two – ‘Get Your Mother Off The Crack’

Milk D has been something of a role model to me as I’ve grown up. Thanks to his sage words, I try and eat cherries, drink milk and keep ma duke away from my stash of whoolas.