Evey now and then, Busta gives Spliff a couple of weeks off to go and record mixtapes and even the occasional video. Why? Because weed carriers have feelings, and what better way to treat your your most valued employee than to let him have a little time in the spotlight?
Consequence – The Undisputed King of Weed Carriers
Posted: 17th September 2010 by Robbie in Baggage Handlers, Weed Carriying 101
^ Note the pockets on Cons jacket. It ain’t no mystery what’s in there!
Wannabe weed holders – bow down to the great man known as Consequence. Not only did he manage to stay C.H.O.R.E (Constantly Holding Others’ Reefer Everywhere) by getting himself recruited by Kanye West‘s G.O.O.D. (Got Other Opiates Delivered) Music crew – following the break-up of A Tribe Called Quest – but the dude is still getting W. C. royalties from Q-Tip! Foe those who cram to understand, Weed Carrier Royalties (W.C.R.) are the reward system established to keep stash holders happy, since a happy weed holder is also a vigilant carrier. WCR can take a variety of forms – a record deal on your weed owners label imprint, a guest verse on the owners album, or if you’re really, really thorough – a beat or verse from the weed owner on YOUR SONG. That’s kinda a big deal ,because it means all of that weed owners Stans are gonna have to cop your shit to keep their collection complete.
The genius of Consequence is that he did such an outstanding job for Q-Tip and ‘em in the late 90′s that he’s still owed enough WCR to get beats from The Abstract in 2010, as seen with the release of his new track ‘Got Me Trippin’. When Cons titled his debut album Don’t Quit Your Day Job, those in the know understood that he was pledging his life-long commitment to the art of weed holding, which is a ‘day job’ that extends way beyond the traditional 9-5 timetable. Who knows what the future holds for this talented tree transporter? Will he make the transition to another weed owner when and if Kanye decides to Kurt Cobain himself? Will Kid Cudi recruit his services as his star continues to rise *pause*, or will the Cons finally live-out the dream of every carrier to make the transition to weed owner himself one day?
Pro Football Weed Carriers: Not For Long…
Posted: 13th September 2010 by Dallas Penn in Baggage Handlers, The Sport Of Holding
The NFL in the logo in American professional football should represent ‘Not For Long’. The average career in the game is less than three years. Anything past that and you have to be an exceptional athlete with a tremendously high pain threshold. These guys spend months running into each other at top speeds to only repeat the act if a penalty flag gets called on the play.
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Rap’s Worst Weed Carriers
Posted: 9th September 2010 by Robbie in Baggage Handlers, Weed Carriying 101, When Carrying Goes Wrong
With the unfortunate news of T.I. and his wifed-up weed holder getting nabbed last week, it seems the ideal opportunity to spotlight some of the other more unsuccessful kush carriers in recent memory.
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Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Weed Carrying But Were Afraid To Ask
Posted: 6th September 2010 by Robbie in Baggage Handlers, Weed Carriying 101
^ The ultimate weed carrier flip flops.
There’s a lot of confusion and misinformation out there on the mean streets of the internets as far as the whole weed carrier movement. You might think you know the science, but until you’ve studied A Salute To Weed Carriers, you don’t know shit. As we bring it back with Version 3.0 of the first and only online guide to the art of weed holding, let me proceed to give you what you need in terms of W.C. 101.
The Meaning of The Name: In this game, you’re either a Weed Owner or a Weed Carrier/Holder. Don’t get it twisted and think that a Holder and an Owner is the same thing. The Weed Owner never, ever holds their own weed. Why the fuck do you think they employ Carriers? To stash that shit, roll that shit, light that shit…and then go grab some snacks from the store.
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Tical Caught Without Baggage Handler
Posted: 19th May 2007 by Robbie in Baggage Handlers, Carriers In The News
As reported in the NY Daily News, Meth just got bagged with a bag (“He rolls down the window and the smoke would choke a horse”, apparently). This highlights several important points – the one-time star attraction of the WTC has fallen on such hard times that even guys like Carlton Fisk and Street Life have better things to do with their time than hold his trees, which leads me to believe that Johnny Blaze has been demoted to sack stasher status himself.
Clearly, John Blaze had picked-up an oz. of purple for someone who could actually afford it and still has a record deal (Raekwon would be my first guess) and decided to get high on Lex’s supply en route. The real tragedy here is the fact that not only has this one-time weed owner now failed as a weed carrier, but he was driving an effin’ 2005 Lincoln Navigator! Maybe if Rae had lent him the Range Sport things would have worked out better.
NBA PLAYOFFS 2007: A Warrior Weed Owner’s Last Stand
Posted: 25th April 2007 by Dallas Penn in Baggage Handlers
How many of you humps remember the Fab Five from the University of Michigan? They were going to be the best college team evar entil they ended up sucking in the NCAA tournament and then going pro as underclassmen. More than a decade after their splash on the sports scene not one of them has been to the championship of pro basketball.
Of all the talented players on that Michigan team the superstar was the 6’10 CHRIS WEBBER. He had a remarkable ability to dribble and pass the basketball which was usually found in smaller players and when he finished a play his dunks were ferocious and ground shaking. Unfortunately for CHRIS, his most memorable moment in college basketball was when he called a timeout during the Final Four and his team had none left. Absentmindedness is the hallmark of weed owners and as such they depend quite often that their carriers remain on point. JALEN ROSE wasn’t that day.
CHRIS was still an exceptional player and someone that you would chart high on the first round of the NBA draft. The question would be what team would select CHRIS and would they provide an atmosphere conducive to his love for holding the bud? CHRIS WEBBER was the #1 overall pick of the 1993 NBA draft and he was immediately traded by the Orlando Magic to the Golden State Warriors for ANFERNEE ‘Penny’ HARDAWAY. You see Orlando already had SHAQUILLE O’NEAL and they needed a weedcarrier for him. Since it was recognized that CHRIS WEBBER was a weed owner himself the Magic didn’t think they would fit on the same team together.
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The (white) Rapper Show a/k/a WeedCarrying 101
Posted: 1st March 2007 by Dallas Penn in Baggage Handlers, Carriers In The News
If there was anything that I gleaned from the ego trip (white) Rapper Show is that MC Serch can still bring fame to a bag holder without getting their ass kicked by Hammer’s goons.
I mean, what do you think the future holds for Shamrock or John Brown? They will be rap music footnotes as soon as the second season begins to air. Anybody remember Nikki ‘Hoopz’ Alexander? Exactly. The best chance for one of these rappers to keep his names on people’s lips will be for them to carry a bag and keep smiling. Busta Rhymes could use a new chauffeur so that’s something to think about also.
Now that everyone has had time to sit with a drink and think about who was the most embarrassing of all the old rappers to appear on Nas‘ various remixes, I’d be remiss if I didn’t announce the next version that’s due to hit the internets later this week – the Bag Holders mix!
The guests (in order of appearance):
Drag-On
After years of carrying trees and motorcycle helmets for the Ruff Ryders crew, plus whatever drug DMX was strung-out on in any given week, Drag-On now finds himself working at a Yonkers dry cleaners and greatly appreciated the $20 Nas paid him for his verse.
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I’m not sure if this is the greatest thing to ever happen to the weed carrier movement (after this, of course), or it’s death knell?
Saturday Night Live “Weekend Update Clip” (go to the “Weekend Update…Really?” clip at the bottom). Hopefully this means that I can secure Ron Burgandy to host the Second Annual Weed Carrier Awards.
Thanks to Fitz (the Kool Herc of this whole shit) for spotting this.