As reported in the NY Daily News, Meth just got bagged with a bag (“He rolls down the window and the smoke would choke a horse”, apparently). This highlights several important points – the one-time star attraction of the WTC has fallen on such hard times that even guys like Carlton Fisk and Street Life have better things to do with their time than hold his trees, which leads me to believe that Johnny Blaze has been demoted to sack stasher status himself.

Clearly, John Blaze had picked-up an oz. of purple for someone who could actually afford it and still has a record deal (Raekwon would be my first guess) and decided to get high on Lex’s supply en route. The real tragedy here is the fact that not only has this one-time weed owner now failed as a weed carrier, but he was driving an effin’ 2005 Lincoln Navigator! Maybe if Rae had lent him the Range Sport things would have worked out better.

If there was anything that I gleaned from the ego trip (white) Rapper Show is that MC Serch can still bring fame to a bag holder without getting their ass kicked by Hammer’s goons.

I mean, what do you think the future holds for Shamrock or John Brown? They will be rap music footnotes as soon as the second season begins to air. Anybody remember Nikki ‘Hoopz’ Alexander? Exactly. The best chance for one of these rappers to keep his names on people’s lips will be for them to carry a bag and keep smiling. Busta Rhymes could use a new chauffeur so that’s something to think about also.

As A Salute To Weed Carrier’s NYC field correspondent I took the assignment of attending the (white) Rapper Show wrap up party in order to celebrate the arrival of celebrity bag holding with a bang (no Tony Yayo). The dude that carried Serch’s sacks the best would be awarded with something even more valauble than a recording contract. He was going home with $100,000 dollars. That’s a whole lot of ounces of that piffy piff and you know what I’m saying. The crowd that filled the club was lively and after the broadcast of the final episode of the television show we were all hyped up for the real show.

Persia, who was one of the most popular rappers on the show cleaned herself up and brought her bawdy ass Big Momma Cass routine to the stage. Her flow was competent and had improved somewhat since we last saw her on the show which was filmed some six months ago. I will admit that I found her attractive in a big girl kind of way. She had on some high heels that matched her belt and for a moment I considered bending her over backstage along with about three hundred or so of the other internets geeks that had climbed up from their mother’s basements to come to the show. The only thing that separated me from the geeks were the ten or twenty rounds of free Bacardi that threw back thanks to the crew from OnSmash and G.O.O.D. Records (yeah, them dudes).

John Brown, the runner up for the contest, was the show’s highlight but I was too tired and it was after midnight so I didn’t stay to watch him perform. Instead I caught the ego trip collective and MC Serch spit some freestyles for the crowd. Serch talked shit about people in the crowd and the clothes he had on. When he spit that shit about the Decepticons and his Timberlands the place went bananas. Well, at least one dude in there went bananas, but he was a big dude. Serch can do his freestyle thing. The ego trip collective… Not so much. Fun was still had by all. The (white) Rapper Show is a movement that you had better get in tuned with. Season 2 is on it’s way. Believe that!

I’m not sure if this is the greatest thing to ever happen to the weed carrier movement (after this, of course), or it’s death knell?

Saturday Night Live “Weekend Update Clip” (go to the “Weekend Update…Really?” clip at the bottom). Hopefully this means that I can secure Ron Burgandy to host the Second Annual Weed Carrier Awards.

Thanks to Fitz (the Kool Herc of this whole shit) for spotting this.

2006 may come to be remembered by Hip-Hop fans as the year that the internets gave a voice to the movement. Terms like ‘stan’ and ‘ether’ became active jargon within the Hip-Hop lexicon. To add to the list of additional and relevant terms was that of the ‘weed carrier’. Prior to 2006, W.C.’s were recognized only in select circles of online Hip-Hop journalism. The 2006 First Annual Weed Carrier Awards was a watershed moment for all music industry bag handlers. This is why it comes as bittersweet news that when W.C.’s finally receive some recognition it is partly because of the diminishing of their ranks. Violently.

One might suppose that the job description might contain some inherent pitfalls since cannabis possession is illegal in most cases throughout the world, but in 2006 we find that weed carriers have skipped pass the go to jail part of their resume and gone directly to the grave. These weren’t just any independent music label rapper’s weed carriers but some of the top W.C.’s in the W.C. game. These were the W.C.’s to the stars and so their passing left marked voids in their respected Weed Owners’ entourages. Let’s recap some of the big W.C. losses:

W.C.: Israel Rodriguez
W.O.: Busta Rhymes

Israel Rodriguez was hired by Busta Rhymes to carry his weed and protect his jewelry. We can only hope that he received Weed Carrier union compensation for doing work outside of his title which included receiving gunshots meant for his Weed Owner. At a Black history month music video shoot (literally) in February, Mr. Rodriguez, was shot by a yet unnamed assailant in what may have been a re-enactment of Cooley High. Busta Rhymes reportedly now wears a medallion in honor of his longtime friend and W.C.

W.C.: Proof
W.O.: Eminem

Detroit city was already acknowledged as one of the more gullier urban precincts in the United States and the killing if Eminem‘s number one bag holder just adds to that perception. The details are still sketchy, but as we have been told it was in a local Detroit night spot that Proof would be harassed for money by an out of work bodyguard-bouncer-weed carrier. When the harassment turned violent Proof was the only one to die. Because Weed Carriers are much more accessible to the public than Weed Owners you can see a lot of aggression turned towards the W.C. that is usually meant for the W.O. Soon after this development Eminem would divorce/fire his wife/Wig Brusher, but that is a different story for another website.

W.C.: Philant Johnson
W.O.: T.I .

Cincinnati, which has long toiled in the shadows of Cleveland and Columbus as the Buckeye states most gulliest jig ‘burg just increased it’s national profile with the shooting death of Clifford “T.I.” Harris’ weed manager. Mr. Johnson was more than just a carrier since he also supervised a small group of carriers like Young Joc and Young Dro. Mr. Johnson’s responsibilities increased as his owner moved from being an Atlanta based rap phenom to an Atlanta based matinee idol. Similar to Proof it seems that as the Weed Owners’ profile increased so did the amount of weed and it’s availability. It was reported that at an after party for a snap rap concert Mr. Johnson was one of the people ‘making it rain’ in the audience. Making it rain is the act of throwing wads of cash into the air. This act seems to be most incendiary in crowds that have an acute value for the purchase power of said cash money. Cincinnati obviously didn’t take well to the gesture.

W.C.: William B. Posey
W.O.: Terry ‘Tank’ Johnson.

Even the sports world had weed carrying issues. In an effort to make weed carrying headlines before the year ended, Tank Johnson‘s live-in bodyguard was given felony drug charges after a police raid on Tank’s home in suburban Chicago. After Tank posted bail for his W.C. the two went to a party at a northside Chicago nightclub. Once there Tank would find himself in an altercation with a local gang member. Mr. Posey entered the fracas and received a few gunshots for his troubles. Unlike fellow Weed Owner Busta Rhymes, W.O. Tank Johnson is using his memory to Mr. Posey’s family some justice and closure.

All weed carrying news wasn’t as dire as the four stories just mentioned. Thankfully, all the weed carriers for mainstream rap acts weren’t killed in 2006. Some just had the shit tasered out of them by the police. A weed carrier that lives to see another day lives to carry another bag.

2007 is looking good already for continuing the great tradition of weed carrying exploits. The Dip Set is moving at lightspeed to keep the bag handlers in the news, from Freaky Zekey‘s release from prison to Max B‘s incarceration for possible murder. A whole new generation of carriers is stepping up to the plate. If 2006 was any indication then weed carrying is here to stay. So act like you know and pass the dutchie ‘pon the left hand side.

I’m guessing there might be a job opening in a minute:

MTV sez: Rapper Lil Wayne was arrested Monday in Atlanta on charges of possession of less than 1 ounce of marijuana and possession of a controlled substance, according to a copy of his arrest report obtained by MTV.

The 23-year-old MC (real name:Dwayne Michael Carter) was released from Georgia’s Fulton County Jail on $11,000 bond following his arrest. Police claim the rapper was in possession of several unlabeled bottles — one containing 60 pills of Alprazolama, a generic form of Xanax that is used to treat anxiety disorders and panic attacks; another containing 59 hydrocodone pills — along with “two small burnt joints of marijuana,” the report read.

According to Carter’s arrest report, the rapper was staying at the Twelve Hotel in Atlanta’s Atlantic Station when a hotel employee entered Carter’s room to inspect a problem with the room’s security systems. The employee said he noticed a gallon-size bag of what he believed to be marijuana; he also told police he smelled a “heavy odor of marijuana.” The hotel’s manager was summoned to the room and also claimed he smelled marijuana. Carter told both men to vacate his room, shut the door and fastened the security latch. Police were called shortly thereafter.

Officers entered Carter’s room and began to search it; the arrest report said the rapper gave his consent for them to enter. Inside a small duffel bag, police found the prescription pills. The marijuana joints were uncovered in the room’s garbage can, and a small amount of marijuana was discovered in the room’s refrigerator. According to the report, a gallon-size bag of marijuana was not recovered.

A second man, Derrick Lawrence, 37, was also charged with possession of less than 1 ounce of marijuana. The arrest report claims Lawrence was in Carter’s room at the time, but his relationship to the rapper is unclear. The report also lists both men as being under the influence of drugs at the time of the arrests.

A few things worth noting here:

1. 37 is kinda old to be carrying weed, especially when your weed owner is in his twenties.

2. The fact that Derrick managed to dispose of the “gallon-size” bag of boom is a postive, although the fact that he over-looked the roach’s in the trash and the weed in the fridge reveals how sloppy he was.

3. Don’t get high on your Weed Owners supply!

4. The primary role of a good weed holder is to take the fall for your boss, not to get arested with him!

UPDATE! I just noticed this at UPI:

Lil’ Wayne was scheduled to begin a tour with Dem Franchize Boyz on Thursday in Cincinnati.

There seems to be a connection.

Not only is New York falling behind in terms of sales, but those Southern folks are streets ahead in the arrest stakes as well.

Nobodys Smiling reported this a few months back:

Atlanta police say they found drugs, cash, weapons and pornography during a recording studio raid on Tuesday, where an unnamed member of Dem Franchise Boyz was arrested.

Eight people were taken in custody when police raided Making Money studios in Atlanta – including an unnamed member of rap group Dem Franchize Boys, and 28-year old Anthony Blalock, CEO of Making Big Moves Records.

Police say they confiscated over 11 pounds of marijuana, $150,000 in cash, two handguns, and a stack of pornography.

The bust happened after police received a tip that drugs were being sold at the facility, and thanks to surveillance cameras they were able to see suspects trying to get rid of substantial evidence.

“They were in the bathroom and they were trying to flush a lot of the drugs down the toilet,” Atlanta Police Officer Richard Light said. “They just had too much and couldn’t flush it all down.”

Two minor children who were at the studio during the raid were also taken into custody, but were later released to their mother.

Dem Franchize Boyz are known best for their catchy snap-heavy songs “Lean With It, Rock With It,” “I Think They Like Me,” and “White Tee.

So I assume the “two minor children” were in charge of the smut? It sounds like their weed holders forget the second golden rule of holding: “Don’t Shit Where You Eat”.

This happened a few months ago but is still worth a look (via AllHipHop):

Rap duo Youngbloodz were arrested on Thursday (June 1) and charged with possession of marijuana with intent to distribute and possession of firearms, after police found a half pound of marijuana hidden throughout their tour bus, as well as two guns.

Group members J-Bo, born Jeffrey Grigsby and Sean Paul Joseph were arrested after police pulled their tour bus over on I-85 in Coweta County, GA as the group was en route to a performance at a club in Columbus.

Police pulled the tour bus over, after noticing the bus’ Florida license plates had expired. When the officer approached the bus, a strong marijuana odor was detected and back up units were called to the scene.

A search of the bus turned up 11 plastic baggies containing the drugs, while a Glock .40 and a Taurus .45 were found under two mattresses on the bus.

Both rappers were arrested along with 12 other people in their entourage.

“The guys have never had any trouble with the law,” Jive Records said in a statement. “They are completely innocent and they will be exonerated from these charges.”

This is really sloppy. Even with twelve weed holders they still got done! Considering that eleven bags of smoke were discovered, you’d have thought that the weed carriers could have copped a bag each, and I guess the last guy could have copped to the gun charges.

It’s this sort of poor weed carrying that gives the occupation a bad name.

Eric from Modern Fix put me up on this little gem from the San Diego Reader:

Happy Leads to Gnarly Jason Mraz told a Canadian newspaper details behind his collaboration for the single “Geek in the Pink” with hip-hop honcho Scott Storch (“a guy on more rappers’ speed dials than a weed-selling jeweler operating out of an Escalade dealership”).

According to Mraz, “We were at his studio with, like, 30 MCs in the room and everyone just throwing down, smoking huge joints. When you hear stories like, ‘There’s one guy whose job it is just to roll joints,’ there was that guy…. I got to see some crazy shit you only hear about on Behind the Music. Plus, nobody shot me and I didn’t get arrested.”

Mraz says his experience was soured by all the MCs that insisted on a songwriting credit.

“What started as a happy weed-smoking session turned into a pretty gnarly thing, and I don’t doubt that half the guys in that studio carry weapons; you can tell because of the cars they drive and the amount of gold, diamonds, and marijuana they carry.”

This piece not only captures a quality weed carrier mention, but the final quote also demonstrates what happens when white guys watch too much BET Uncut.

The full final results can be found here.

Following a suprisingly strong voter turnout, the 2006 Weed Carrier Awards have been decided. Thanks to the WC Squad for sppreading the word, and all the blogs that linked to this shit. Last week, Harris Publications offered me a truckload of XXL Raps CD’s in exchange for the rights to release a spin-off magazine in the tradition of Rides, Eye Candy, King and Donk (?!) called Bags. I said I’d get back to them.

Hey, Why Weren’t These Guys Nominated? – The Most Glaring Omission From Original List Award

Winner: Flipmode Squad (16%)

In a close race, Busta’s bag holders just got over the line, winning by a mere by 1% of the vote. Does this group even exists anymore? It’s worth noting that between popping out seeds, Rah Digga also carried for The Outsiderz, the forgotten group from Brick City who gave Eminem his first boom stashing gig.1

Runner-up: Magoo (15%)

Timbo’s sidekick gave-up rapping at one stage2 to concentrate on holding chronic. Considering that he’s clearly afflicted with down-syndrome, he’s done pretty well for himself to find employment that doesn’t involve a “sheltered workshop”.

My pick: Big Noyd

While his services may not be required anymore, since the Mobb don’t have any weed to carry now that they’re holding again, Rapper Noyd has been a loyal smoke stasher since the days of Juvenile Hell, and has even managed to release two albums and an EP of his own in between bodega runs.

Lifetime Achievement Award

Winner: Memphis Bleek (36%)

I guess if you’re going to choose weed carrying as your career path, you could do a lot worse than holding for the Jay. Although now that’s he’s got a desk job, he wouldn’t really have much need for Bleek’s services, now would he?3

Runner-up: Spliff Star (29%)

When you name yourself “Spliff” you’re fate is set in stone forever.

All-Time Greatest Weed Owners

Winner: The RZA (43%)

A very comfortable win for the mastermind behind the Wu. In my mind, his greatest trick was convincing everyone that kung-fu samples weren’t corny after The Fu-Schnickens ruined it for everybody by rapping in a flying Chinese take-out box.4

Runner-up: Eazy-E (32%)

My personal pick, since Eazy has not only spawned four generations of weed holders, but he’s got The Gayme holding for him beyond the grave!

We Made It – Weed Carriers That Became Weed Owners

Winner: Jay-Z (46%)

Another big win for The Jaz’s little buddy. He’s also fired more ganja movers than anybody on this list.5

Runner-up: Tupac (16%)

From his days as MC New York to his leg-shaking moves with Humpty Hump and co, Pac learned many things about weed owning from Shock G, and was quick to assemble his own WC’s as soon as he had the “Juice”.6

Least Talented Weed Carriers To Release An Album

Winners: The Bravehearts (21%)

In another nail-biting finish, Nas’ cheeba mules take the cake when it comes to record deal nepotisim. Naming your group after a Mel Gibson flick is never a good move.

Runners-up: St. Lunatics (20%)

I voted for Nelly‘s homies, for the simple fact that one of those kids rocks a diamond-encrusted Phantom of the Opera mask.7

MVP Cracka Carriers

Winner: Everlast (33%)

Starting out as the Rhyme Syndicate’s bag boy, Everlast took a lot of LSD, shaved his head and got in touch with his Irish roots before getting a pick-up truck and a cowboy hat, while selling a gang or records along the way. Last seen carrying for Carlos Santana.

Runners-up: The Beastie Boys (32%)

From their humble rap beginnings living of Run-DMC’s table scraps, the B-Boys soon figured out that the world of rock was an untapped weed holder resource, and started up Grand Royal records as a result.

Do Not Pass Go Or Collect $200: Weed Owners who started carrying again

Winner: Mobb Deep (84%)

There was never any question as to who would take out this category. The other nominations were really just tacked-on for show. While they’re not selling anymore albums with the Unit, at least they get to appear in 50′s videos, which should get them a couple of sloppy seconds back stage.

MVP WC Broad Award

Winner: Lil’ Kim (45%)

The “plastic fantastic” jailbird came through in the clutch, as she not only held Biggie’s ‘dro bag, but also his rhyme book and his nut sack. Although as XXL’s head honcho pointed out, Charli Whatawhore should’ve taken this.

Runner-up: Olivia (18%)

AKA “Oliver”, this dude lady isn’t playing. I wonder if Curtis has got her on the ‘roids yet?

All-Time Greatest Shaq Weed Carrier

Winner: Kobe Bryant (49%)

A picture says a thousand words.

Runner-up: Penny Hardaway (24%)

I’ll let Elliot Wilson handle this one: “He’s a doll. Little Penny has never been the same since his giant pal jetted from Disneyland to Hollywood. Several years later, he spent most of last season riding the pine for Isiah’s team and massaging Marbury’s shoulders. That’s real funky, you flunky.”

All-time greatest/worst sibling/relative weed carrier

Winner: Ashley Simpson (42%)

Not only was her MTV show unwatchable, she’s ugly as sin. Makes Jessica sound like Sade in comparison.

Runners-up: Marlon and Shawn Wayan (28%)

White Chicks = Worst Movie Ever?8

Sloppy Seconds – A Weed Holding Legacy

Winner: Mase (53%)

This guy is the definition of a “lost soul”. From Big L to Diddy to God to G-Unit? Way to downgrade, dude.

Medal of Honor – Most Tragic WC Death (R.I.P.)

Winner: Proof (56%)

This was pretty tasteless, but I’ve yet to receive any angry emails from any Shady fans demanding that I remove the award. I guess awards really do bring people together.

————————————

So there you have it…..it’s worth noting that while no one threatened us with a lawsuit, Rampage The Last Boyscout‘s people sent me an angry letter demanding that he be added to the nominations for his services to Trevor Smith.9 I’ll let you know when and where the presentation cermony will be held.

1. 1. For more on “The Lyrical Nutritionist’s” weed carriers, read this.
2. 2. His official reason was because he was booed offstage when performing to his hometown crowd.
3. 3. I’m guessing any trees that Mr. Carter requires would be brought in by courier service, so as to make it a tax-deductable expense.
4. 4. See for yourself – “Ring The Alarm”.
5. 5. Sauce Money, Amil, Foxy Brown, Young Gunz, etc.
6. 6. Bad pun alert!
7. 7. Bushwick Bill did that shit ten years back, biters. Andrew Lloyd Webber, hold ya head.
8. 8. I doubt it. But it sucked pretty bad.
9. 9. Guess he’s got a new album coming out?

Why Are So Many Weed Carriers Being Shot?
Here’s Killer Mike, who once had a spark, on the Philant Johnson killing and violence in hip-hop:

I think the biggest insult since Philant has been killed is the [suggestion that] this is somehow rap-related because that doesn’t get to the real problem,” he says. “The real problem is that you have millions of young, angry, disenfranchised Latino, Black and poor white men who don’t have any real hope or outlet for hope.

My thing has always been this (nullus): If this isn’t a hip-hop thing, then why don’t you all of these killings occur in other genres of music? This year alone three major weed carriers have been shot and killed, not to mention a whole host of unimportant regional rappers (who or wtf is a Big Hawk?) and various assorted hangers on.

Just this weekend, I see Young Zee from The Outsidaz, who I’m sure someone on the Internets considers the GOAT, and KRS-One’s old weed carrier Hakim Green from Channel Live were stabbed outside of an Ice Cube concert at BB King’s in New York. Was somebody trying to rob them for the mad izm?

I don’t think it stands to reason that this can all be blamed on poverty and “disenfranchisement” because you don’t see any of this bullshit happening in genres of music created by poor white people like country or hair metal, or even in R&B which, quiet as it’s kept, is largely created by and for poor black people.

Also, as mentioned in Orlando Patterson’s recent op-ed in the New York Times, you don’t see the poor bastards who live in third world countries turn to crime at nearly the same rate as blacks here in the US. What’s the difference between them and jigs here in the US? Could it be hip-hop?