A Salute To Weed Carriers

Now that everyone has had time to sit with a drink and think about who was the most embarrassing of all the old rappers to appear on Nas‘ various remixes, I’d be remiss if I didn’t announce the next version that’s due to hit the internets later this week – the Bag Holders mix!

The guests (in order of appearance):

Drag-On

After years of carrying trees and motorcycle helmets for the Ruff Ryders crew, plus whatever drug DMX was strung-out on in any given week, Drag-On now finds himself working at a Yonkers dry cleaners and greatly appreciated the $20 Nas paid him for his verse.

Dice Raw

Was this guy even on the last few Roots albums? Even if he was, he spends more time with Nouveau Riche, an indie rock/hip-hop car wreck that he started when his bag holding services were no longer required by ?uestlove.

Larry Larr

Carrying for Three Times Dope was a big deal once apon a time (plus da gawd EST got some shine on the 90’s remix), but since they disappeared from the public eye it’s safe to say that Da Wizzard of Odds hasn’t exactly been overwhelmed with job offers outside of doing birthdays at Chucky Cheese.

Bronx Style Bob

After the glory days of hanging with Ice-T’s Rhyme Syndicate, BSB went onto front some “postmodern soul” group called Khaleel which I have no intentions of hearing. Thankfully the lil’ homey Nas brought him back to spit some West Coast WC goodness.

One of the Rottin Razkals

Naughty By Nature sure had a lot of Weed Holders. Between Da Cruddy Click, Road Dawgs and these guys, Vinnie and Treach constantly had a full stash on call. Even though these kids dropped an album and did some shit with Zhane, I can’t name a single member. Actually I think they two main WC’s were called Diesel and Fam…plus with song titles like “A-Yo”, “Oh Yeah” and “Hey Alright”, you know these fellas were some deep thinkers. Imagine if Rakim had been a Jersey car thief and a small-time herb dealer and you get the picture.

The Wee Papa Girl Rappers

These fiesty Brits never actually carried weed for anyone, but they both let Professor Griff hit it which was a big deal in the UK considering how popular Public Enemy were in the 80s. Kelis obviously forced Nas to include them as the token broads.

Mike Zoot

Remember when Granola bar eating chumps were everywhere? This dude wishes we were still there, as 1996 saw him release a bunch of records with his Weed Owner Mos Def. A few years later he headed to Japan to make records since they can’t understand the lyrics anyway and seem to love random indy rappers that carried for Blackstarr. Nas spotted him working at a sneaker store and mistook him for someone else. By the time he realised his mistake, he’d already bought dude a Happy Meal so he let him rap on the remix anyway.

MC Skat Kat

What the fuck? Apparently duke dropped an LP called The Adventures of MC Skat Kat and the Stray Mob after his popular Paula Abdul jump-off. Pity that ungrateful tramp didn’t repay the favor and appear on his record. Good thing Nas is for the children.