A Salute To Weed Carriers

Holy mackerel, times sure are a-changing. Instead of finding weed holders through the traditional channels such as pool halls, bodegas and gambling spots, A$AP Rocky and the A$AP Mob recruit Weed Carriers through Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr and fashion label launches. Welcome to the new generation. Complex insist that “These guys aren’t hang-ons or weed carriers” but they clearly lack the expertise required to assess an area as specialized as Weed Carrying. Here’s the real scoop on the A$AP baggage handler network.

A$AP Yams

Yams is a man with an impressive Weed Carrier resume, having “interned” for Max B, Jim Jones and Duke Da God. “He never touches the mic in any video (though he did sing and talk shit on “Thugged Out”) and his name isn’t credited on any of the beats”. Seeing as though he founded A$AP, he’s clearly the chief Weed Owner of the organization, alongside Rocky. Plus that birthmark and shitty finger tatts aren’t exactly ideal for carrying any contraband.

A$AP Ant

Known as Ant and Addie, presumably because he carries several fake ID’s if he gets nabbed by the beast. Describes himself as “a rapper still getting myself out there. I’m playing my position so when my time comes people know who I am. I haven’t left the country yet. I have some legal trouble at the moment”. In Weed Carrier terms, this translates to “I’m trying to learn how to rap better since I’ve already been bagged for holding bags and my tree stashing days are clearly numbered”.

A$AP Ferg

Has a track called “Work”, and explains his role as follows: “I can be there for you…I’m the go-to person if you need help”. Translation? Freg will hold that loud for you, no matter what, when or where. A true Weed Carrying trooper.

A$AP Snacks, J. Scott

J. Scott makes beats and doesn’t smoke, which is always a bonus. “I’m really obsessed with DJ Screw and the chopped and screwed genres he pioneered and I’ve never been high or on lean”. There’s nothing worse than finding that your stash is a little lighter than it was before you handed it over to be stashed.

A$AP Nast

“I’m the nigga that rapped and then didn’t want to rap anymore. I be making sure shit is good behind the scenes and on-camera…helping any way I can”. Can’t really spell it out any clearer than that, can you?

A$AP Ty Beats

Ty has done some beats and admits to still being in Weed Carrier training, “I’m the little brother. I’m looking up to them. I see how they move. I’m learning off what they’re doing”. This demonstrates a willingness to learn the ways of Weed Carrying, and could could potentially be a valuable player on the team if he can continue to contribute the odd beat as part of his cover.

A$AP Twelvy

Twelvy is from Castle Hill in The Bronx, beat-up one of Spaceghostpurrp‘s smoke stasher’s and seems to be the Chief Goon for the crew. Enforcer’s are terrible Weed Carriers since constantly putting herbs in a yoke tends to attract unwanted attention from the authorities.

A$AP Bari

Third of the original founding trio, dropping a clothing line. Appears to be the primary Weed Carrier Co-Ordinator – a Weed Holder Human Resources Officer, if you will. Has no problem hiring and firing WC’s for the crew, as A$AP Dom found out in 2012 for indiscretions that have not been officially revealed but no doubt involve losing a large bag of loud. The question remains, do you have your “A$AP” name stripped from you when you get the boot, like losing your strips in the army?

A$AP Illz

According to A$AP Bari, “ASAP Illz is Illijah. He’s the A$AP model”. The final originator of the crew, it’s fair to say he’s too busy shopping for scarves to be holding anyone’s stash.

A$AP Lou

White Weed Carriers are good. Female white weed carriers are even better. Nevertheless, it’s good to see that Lou is using designer luggage to transport the trees.

Bonus Weed Carriers: A$AP Deem, A$AP Rick, A$AP AV, A$AP Josh, A$AP Rellie and A$AP K.

The Verdict: Ferg’s clearly the star of Weed Carrying team, but his desire for the spotlight may work against him in the long run. A$AP Nast has the ideal attitude to be the MVP WC, while Ty Beats and J. Scott are both potential heavy stashers for the future. A$AP Lou is doing a good job of flying beneath the radar but could easily be replaced by a white broad.