A Salute To Weed Carriers has gotten several requests to tackle the subject of weed carriers in the world of rock. While many rockers have been known to be partial to a lot more than just cheeba, some needlephobic folks still enjoy a good lah session.
Since my knowledge of rock doesn’t extend far beyond my copy of AC/DC’s Back In Black and my prized collection of Motorbooty magazines, I thought I’d reprint this great rock round-up by Ian from Sexy Results:
There’s questions as to whether rockers have weed carriers, which is kinda tough, seeing as how it’s a lot more difficult to give your mans ‘n ’em some shine. Guest verses have a “what the fuck?” air about them that doesn’t really translate in this genre. Nonetheless, I’ll make what is likely to be a poor attempt to make thumbnail sketches of a few weed holders in the world of gee-tars (and no links because that would take forever)…feel free to add.
Gwen Stefani: No Doubt is Exhibit A of weed carrier-ness. I mean, when the lead singer goes solo without disbanding the group, that’s about as clearcut case as you can get. You know Gwen’s got a steady hand when she can convince her ex-boyfriend to hold her green.
Amy Lee: I guess since Evanescence is from Little Rock, “meth jockeys” is a more appropriate term. In fact, let’s just say that any female fronted band is comprised solely of weed carriers, although I highly doubt the members of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs have trouble accessing their own drugs.
Robert Smith: He’s probably had to replace members of the Cure twenty times for poor weed carrying performance, which probably explains why he outsourced to Siouxsie & The Banshees.
Courtney Love: For a while, she did a little stint carrying Faith No More’s izm, and one might say she was holding for Kurt Cobain, but I seriously doubt he’d let her hold anything except the shotgun that ended his life. Sly devil that she is, Courtney definitely got creative in her search with Hole, as we all know that women have more places to hide the stuff. Melissa Auf Der Mer has the honor carrying for two of the most notorious weed holders in rock, the other being Billy Corgan (more below), and after going through that, she has failed to exhibit weed ownership in her solo career.
Kurt Cobain: probably the most illustrious weed carrying family tree. After he died, there was so much Bobbby Brown left that Dave Grohl and Krist Novoselic automatically inherited enough to go around to their minions. Krist tested out a few no-names in Sweet 75, but decided to go with Curt Kirkwood (formerly of the Meat Puppets who were up to their eyes in hydro on “Unplugged”) and Bud Gaugh (still holding postmortem for Brad Nowell) to form Eyes Adrift. And Dave Grohl must’ve liked what he saw when Pat Smear was carrying for Nirvana, so he just brought him over to the Foo Fighters, originally composed of two of Jeremy Enigk’s holders from Sunny Day Real Estate (talk about a small-time hustle) and one from Alanis Morrissette.
Thom Yorke: Got his little brother’s shitty band (Unbelievable Truth) on a major. What up, gangstaaaa?
Brandon Boyd: You know there’s a lot of sticky icky icky going around in Incubus, so the shirtless one has that Jewfro’d guitarist, a Roots weed carrier on bass and that DJ who does nothing, likely because his turntables are filled with weed. In a straight hip-hop power move, he even got his brother’s band a major label deal (Audiovent) and had a potential weed kingpin carrying for them on tour (Hoobastank).
Dave Matthews: Whatever Dave’s on, Tim Reynolds is definitely stashing it.
Scott Weiland: Actually, it’d be more fair to call STP “heroin mules.” In a shocking turn of events, the rest of the guys started Talk Show, which is notable for being the first band where the lead singer is the sole weed carrier.
Axl Rose: Shannon Hoon’s blue flanneled appearance in the “Don’t Cry” video is as hip-hop of a weed carrier move as you’ll see on this list. Of course, it’s hard to call the rest of Blind Melon weed carriers since whatever Hoon had, he was carrying it in his bloodstream. Slash and Izzy would later have Snakepit and the JuJu Hounds to hold it down for guys who make up 2Pac-like conspiracies on how Stevie Ray Vaughn isn’t really dead.
Billy Corgan: Might be the only guy on this list who started two bands specifically to hold trees.
Ben Folds: Whether his bandmates were holding is up for debate, but whether the “missing two” in the Ben Folds Five were drug mules is not. Currently moonlighting as guardian of Shatner’s stash.
Conor Oberst: Let’s put it this way: if you’ve ever been affiliated with Saddle Creek Records, you’ve held Conor’s weed and probably fucked him too.
Maynard Keenan: Not so much for the guys in Tool, put for A Perfect Circle, which is like the ’96 Bulls of weed carriers. The roster is astonishing: two who held for Billy Corgan (James Iha in Pumpkins, Paz in Zwan), one who held for Marilyn Manson (Twiggy), another from Nine Inch Nails (Billy Howerdel) and a drummer who’s like the Mel Man of rock music (Josh Freese). Astounding.
Trent Reznor: Depending on who you believe, Marilyn Manson had Trent’s nuts on his tonsils for about five years until he went Johnny Sac on his boy. Filter, on the other hand, has indisputable weed carrier credentials.
Jack White: Hard to tell whether Meg’s holding, because on the one hand, she makes Ringo Starr sound like Neil Peart, but on the other, she has an enormous rack. Jack did have the Von Bondies hoding his stash, until the lead singer refused to carry anymore and got his ass kicked for all his troubles.
Jeff Buckley: The guy from Ours was tuning Buck’s guitars before he got on some “Single White Female” shit.
Fred Durst: He’s like the Samson of this shit. Recruited a DJ with extensive training in the field, then started his own label to have the biggest weed-holding army in rock music (Puddle Of Mudd, Cold, Revolution Smile, etc.). You saw what happened when the guitarist tried to get his own stash. Say what you will about the man’s music, but thankfully for his scrawny ass, he won’t be in prison on possession.