How many of you humps remember the Fab Five from the University of Michigan? They were going to be the best college team evar entil they ended up sucking in the NCAA tournament and then going pro as underclassmen. More than a decade after their splash on the sports scene not one of them has been to the championship of pro basketball.
Of all the talented players on that Michigan team the superstar was the 6’10 CHRIS WEBBER. He had a remarkable ability to dribble and pass the basketball which was usually found in smaller players and when he finished a play his dunks were ferocious and ground shaking. Unfortunately for CHRIS, his most memorable moment in college basketball was when he called a timeout during the Final Four and his team had none left. Absentmindedness is the hallmark of weed owners and as such they depend quite often that their carriers remain on point. JALEN ROSE wasn’t that day.
CHRIS was still an exceptional player and someone that you would chart high on the first round of the NBA draft. The question would be what team would select CHRIS and would they provide an atmosphere conducive to his love for holding the bud? CHRIS WEBBER was the #1 overall pick of the 1993 NBA draft and he was immediately traded by the Orlando Magic to the Golden State Warriors for ANFERNEE ‘Penny’ HARDAWAY. You see Orlando already had SHAQUILLE O’NEAL and they needed a weedcarrier for him. Since it was recognized that CHRIS WEBBER was a weed owner himself the Magic didn’t think they would fit on the same team together.
Golden State Warriors
Playing in San Francisco suited CHRIS early on. The team had several high level weed carriers available to CHRIS like BILLY OWENS, TIM HARDAWAY and LATRELL SPREWELL (who was working his way up to owning) and reserve player JUD BUECHLER had the connect for that killer white boy sticky icky.
Washington Bullets
When the weed in ‘Frisco started to taste like sherm CHRIS came to the east coast to play. He linked up with his favorite weedcarrier from college, JUWAN HOWARD. Too bad for them that the connects in Washington were dry and SCOTT SKILES was a balding hater. After the po-po pinched him for holding his own sack it was back to Cali bud again for CHRIS.
Sacremento Kings
At first it didn’t look like CHRIS was going to welcome his new digs in northern California until someone must have told him about all the readily available “medical” marijuana in Sacremento. They don’t call this place ‘Sack-Town’ for no good reason. CHRIS would enjoy his best years as an owner on the Kings. Serbian stoner VLADE DIVAC was all too happy to carry for CHRIS since he had carried for MAGIC during his years in L.A. Even though MIKE BIBBY and DOUG CHRISTIE were straight edge pricks, guys like CORLISS WILLIAMSON and BOBBY ‘Action’ JACKSON would help CHRIS light it up. But alas, eventually the joint burns down.
Philadelphia Sixers
CHRIS was brought to Philly to hopefully teach ALLEN IVERSON how to properly own but the truth is that CHRIS prefers the light green hydroponic while ALLEN is a bigger fan of the Midwest variety with the orange hairs. Go figure.
Detroit Pistons
Now Chris is back where it all started for him almost twenty years ago. He’s teamd up with another reckless owner in RASHEED WALLACE, but here in Detroit that have the best carriers around. RIP HAMILTON and CHAUNCEY BILLUPS are the All-Star carriers for these former top line players. Like the the greatest carriers evar in the game they do their jobs without spotlight or fanfare. I hope CHRIS WEBBER can climb to the mountaintop again with this ensemble of players and as long as Detroit saves at least one of their time outs they should be fine.
On point.
Hey at least Chris numbers are looking good in Detroit. His averages is pretty decent for someone who lost his ability to jump and no lateral movement.
Rip and Chauncey all-star carriers? Messed up but funny and true.
So the question now, will Iverson become a carrier?
Maybe AI could get some tutoring from Scottie Pippen on how to carry Melo and MJ’s weed
preach, preach. as soon as chris retires, it’s time for amir johnson to step in and claim the blunt crown.
vee: iverson will never be another man’s carrier. he’ll have carmelo copping to a brand new backpack full acapulco or nene with a joint in braid.
The way Phoenix is getting it right now, it might be carrier Jalen who picks up the first ring. Remember? He’s still in the league. Look way down on that Suns bench.
First of all, it’s the University of Michigan.
Second, great work with this. Webber has always been an interesting weed man, because though he may be an owner, and though he has had an array of bag men, his ownership credentials are toward the lower end of the spectrum given his absent championship profile and his much-documented “tortured” basketball existence. He just never seems to really win people over. At Michigan he had the timeout; in Golden State he was brash; in Washington he was a malcontent who took that charge; in Sacramento he never won; in Philly he was a bust; and now he is cast as one seeking redemption. He may really be the chairman of the Ignominious Weed Owner board.
S.B.,
Thanks for pointing out that U of M gaffe.
So are you saying that by virtue of his inability to win a ‘ship C WEBB may not have access to the better grades of bud?
Like, until you win a ring you will have to be the owner of the ounce of shake, filled with seeds and sticks.
Damn C WEBB.
dp,
there’s no way he’s getting that last bag all lonely in the big ziploc from the vegetable drawer.
i’m thinking that there’s some guys that have enough swag and respect from the elder chiefers to be sitting on outdoor organic.
otherwise he wouldn’ta been rolling blunts with tyra all that time.
Until he wins something, he is stuck with whatever his handlers can buy from the high school kids down the block. To put it in hip-hop terms, he’s sort of like Tony Montana before he brings back the cash AND the drugs to Frank Lopez.
You think ‘Sheed has smoked all of his shit from 2005?
Prah’lee.
On a second thought pattern. Tracy McGrady needs some carriers. He and Ming Yao scored 50 of Houston’s 67 pts.