A Salute To Weed Carriers

^ The ultimate weed carrier flip flops.

There’s a lot of confusion and misinformation out there on the mean streets of the internets as far as the whole weed carrier movement. You might think you know the science, but until you’ve studied A Salute To Weed Carriers, you don’t know shit. As we bring it back with Version 3.0 of the first and only online guide to the art of weed holding, let me proceed to give you what you need in terms of W.C. 101.

The Meaning of The Name: In this game, you’re either a Weed Owner or a Weed Carrier/Holder. Don’t get it twisted and think that a Holder and an Owner is the same thing. The Weed Owner never, ever holds their own weed. Why the fuck do you think they employ Carriers? To stash that shit, roll that shit, light that shit…and then go grab some snacks from the store.

No Shots: Don’t feel some kinda way if you or your man’s gets called a Weed Carrier. It’s a rite-of-passage, not unlike stealing your first bottle of booze. It’s also an incredibly important role in the music game. Without weed holders, a lot of our favorite rapper dudes would be licked the fuck up or on probation right about now. Carrying weed is a lot like college – it’s one thing to get your foot in the door, but not everybody graduates…

Deeper Than Rap: Weed holding didn’t begin with rap music. The OG of Weed Owners is Jesus H. Christ, who had twelve carriers. Unfortunately for him, Judas was an effin’ narco.

The Weed Is Optional: Truth be told, weed is no longer the choice of a new generation like Pepsi. With E, meth, yayo, syrup, prescription drugs and baby seal blood often being the flavor of the day, it’s just easier to give the human stash spots a universal handle. Therefore, Weed Carrier = Contraband Carrier for the purposes of discussion.

The Holy Trinity: Spliff Starr, Memphis Bleek and Consequence represent the brightest, most shining examples of what a true master Weed Carrier can achieve. They are the role models for the new-jacks to aspire to, not unlike how Michael Jordan would have been if he specialized in rolling blunts and picking-up packets of Frito Lays.

Triple Threat: The most valuable weed carriers are either female, white or kids. Combine all three and you’re teflon status, unless you’re Drew Barrymore.

Rules Of The Game: Don’t wife your weed carrier, and try not to mix-up your body guards with your weed holders. Multi-tasking just means that a bunch of jobs aren’t getting done correctly.

Never Go Back: It’s the dream of every weed carrier to one day own their own weed. Many never reach that level, but those that are lucky enough to get their own stash can never go back. Remember when Mobb Deep started carrying for Curtis? My point exactly.

Stay tuned for in-depth analysis of the latest incidents of weed carrying gone wrong…