A Salute To Weed Carriers

Rap wunderkind Joey Bada$$ (aka Lizard King aka Og Swank) is young, but he’s no dummy. He understands the importance of developing a diverse Weed Carrier portfolio as soon as possible, and with his Senior WC Consultant/Conciliare CJ Fly on deck, they seem to be running a pretty tight ship, employing a tactic where they provide virtually zero information about their “artists” on their official website, other than some dumb quote. Who needs a bio when you have Twitter, right? Let’s take a look at some of the key players in this Weed Carrier Network known only as Pro Era…

JAKK THE RHYMER (MC)

The only information available about this guy outside of his rapping is when Anonymous asked if he was a member of Pro Era on Tumblr, they replied “He is”. This indicates that he’s flying so far under the radar that even the internets can’t track him, which is an impressive feat in this day and age.

DIRTY SANCHEZ aka DirtyWaters (MC)

These guys are so Gen Z they can’t even be bothered writing bios for themselves.

Cj Fly (MC)

Seems to be a Senior Weed Carrier/Weed Conciliare.

Dyemond Lewis aka Dymez (MC, Prophet)

Since he’s described as “The Super Slacker”, let’s assume he pretty much sucks at stashing weed.

Powers Pleasant aka Sir Phucking Pleasant aka Sir Swanks-a-lot (Producer, Photographer)

Aka Sir Stash-A-Bag.

Kirk Knight aka Kirk Knasty (Producer, MC, Kreeper)

By “Kreeper” they clearly mean “Krill Keeper”. Also likes to “scare bitches”, whatever that means.

A La $ole aka Tha Young Gawd (Clothing Designer, MC)(clothing designer, rap, bitch, do ignorant shit)

$wank De Niro? Really? Original listing also included “bitch, do ignorant shit” as his “skills”.

T’NAH APEX

The token singing broad who also raps.

Chuck Strangers (Producer, MC)

Did a bunch of beats on the 1999 tape and his own Freebass project, which makes him exempt from holding the stash for at least a months after each release.

Dessy Hinds (MC)

Backpack = Weed Carrier Mule.

Nyck Caution (MC)

Also claims he can act, which is great if you have to deal with the old “good cop, bad cop” routine.

KWON (Entertainer, Hypeman)

Describing yourself as an “Entertainer, Hypeman” is a great way of declaring that you’re the Head Weed Carrier and damn proud of the fact. No false pretenses about “rapping”, “producing” or “managing” here, just bags and bags of that loud!

ROKAMOUTH (Producer, MC, Artist, Graphic Designer)

Actually has a couple of songs out, so appears to be Token Semi-Talented Carrier on the rise.

Bruce Lee Kix (Producer)

Has an email address for “business inquiries” on his Twitter page, so he’s something of a Freelance Weed Carrier.

Mr.Niles (Ed) (Designer)

Hans SOLO (Producer)

Pause.

Dee Frost (Photographer)

Photography cases make an excellent stash spot.

ALI (MC)

Beneath the radar, it’s fair to say that Ali is holding that smoke on the regular.

OLAM (Clothing Designer, gfx design)

Thank fuck this is over.

Verdict: These kids are so underground that our despite extensive research by our Weed Carrier Investigations Unit, very little intel is available on most of these characters, which may have something to do with the fact that most of them are in still attending some kind of high school/community college. Based on this limited information, it appears the Kwon is the MVP WC of Pro Era, but Powers Pleasant and Kirk Knight are really nipping at his heels for top spot.