A Salute To Weed Carriers

“It’s been a long time, I shouldn’t have left you, without a weed carrier post to step to…” you get the idea.

Busta Rhymes (aka “the lyrical nutritionist”) began his career holding weed for Public Enemy, back when they were “totally kick ass”. This was no mean feat, as Flavor Flav required at least four or five weed (and coke) carriers at any one time just in order to function. This led to the formation of Leaders of the New School with Charlie Brown and the other two guys who no one remembers (Dinco D and Milo). Luckily, these guys actually had some talent, and before long they left the nest.

After making a splash with their hyperactive style and creating the East Coast Stomp, LONS quickly gained a large entorage of weed carriers of their own. To help us keep track of them, they made a couple of songs (“Sound of the Zeekers” and “Spontaneous”) where they let they’re carriers rap for a couple of lines each.

Here’s a few of them:
Crackerjacks, Gollie G, Sha-Now, Rumpletilkinz (The Capital, L.S. Jeranimo), Kallie Weed, Cool Whip Brittle Lo, Blitz and Pudge God.

One of these groups, Rumpletilskinz, even got their own record deal and released an album that quickly found it’s rightful resting place in the cut-out bin.

All seemed well after the first album, but while they were working on the ridiculously-titled follow-up (The Inner Minds Eye), the rest of the fellas noticed that everytime they had a session, Busta Rhymes was off somewhere else, dropping a verse here and performing a hook there, smoking other peoples superior stash and rapidly gaining in popularity. When the album bricked, tensions reached breaking point, and as both the weed supply and dudes willing to hold what little weed there was dried-up, Busta decided to break out, taking Rampage the Last Boy Scout with him as HWCIC (Head Weed Carrier In Charge). Now we all know that Bussa Bus enjoys that sticky green, and soon realised that one WC could not meet his carrying requirements. And so the Flipmode Squad was born.

As Jacques Cousteau said in his email:

I remember an old interview he did, probably in the flavor magazine, where he was saying how he would rather try to put on his peoples (i.e. carriers) who were close family than cats with mad skills cause the former would be more loyal and they could get better with practice or something like that. It really made me scratch my head when I read it.

While they may have gotten better at carrying weed with practice, sadly their rapping didn’t improve much, as noted by reader N. Gluski:

Baby Sham: Wasn’t he Busta’s brother?

Spliff Star: The perfect name for a weed carrier. The Internet is claiming he currently works at a Quiznos. That seems like an ideal career choice for a former weed carrier.

Rah Digga: The required female carrier with the vital role of carrying to avoid suspicion.

Rampage the Last Boy Scout: Every weed carrying crew has a member that gets some attention for a single and is never heard from again.

Lord Have Mercy: Grew tired of his carrying duties and carried for M.O.P. for a brief period.

Roc Marciano: Broke off to form his own crew of carriers, The U.N. Their album was released in 2004 with underground praise. The crew also carries for Carson Daly, a part owner of their 4,5,6 label. [Editor’s Note: Rock Marcy and the U.N. are actually “greater than great”, in my opinon].

Just a few weeks ago, Bol ran this story, which led me to do some further reading at the New York Post:

Mega-rapper Busta Rhymes narrowly escaped death early yesterday as his bling handler was killed in a hail of bullets after several rowdies were booted from a Brooklyn soundstage where the performer was shooting a celebrity-studded video.

“Bling handler”? Considering this guy was just murdered, the hacks at the Post could at least show him a little respect and refer to him by his official job title: Jewellery Carrier. Obviously they don’t appreciate just how many years of loyal weed holding are required to achieve such a prestigious postition.

He had been in charge of Rhymes’ jewelry stash for the shoot, guarding it and handing the rap star pieces of bling as needed for scenes.

An eyewitness also reported the activities of Tony Yayo’s smoke stashers:

An electrician crew member said the murder occurred about a half-hour after a small but loud group of “real gangsta-looking, sideways-hats guys” were told to leave because the tense studio was growing too packed with entourages.

“I’m on parole — no one tells me to be quiet!” shouted one of the thugs at a security guard, according to the electrician.

Spoken like a true weed carrier.