A Salute To Weed Carriers

Also referred to as Triple C’s (Cracka-Ass Cracka Carriers), the Caucasian bag holder is as essential to success in todays rap world as a Hip-House track was to every hip-hop album released in 1989. Having a pasty-faced kid stashing your ‘dro is money in the bank, since jake might not even bother searching him when the whip gets pulled over, and if by some stroke of misfortune he does he get caught, there’s a 75% chance he’s related some one at the local precinct anyway (or, failing that, the son of a judge).

Not suprisingly, most of these white breads are looking for something in return for their weed carrying services, and in this post-Eminem era, that is more and more likely to be a record deal, or at the very least a few features on the new album and/or mixtape. But even before melanin-deficient rappers were a common-place, all the rap crews worth their salt were enjoying the services of some cracka carriers (sorry, I mean Angelo-Saxon Americans).

EPMD helped Steve Austin and Tom J of the Knucklehedz get a record deal, and even did some beats for an album that never made it past press-advance status. Judging by the single that they put out, their rap career received a mercy killing. They broke from the Hit Squad camp amidst allegations of sexual harrasment at the hands of Erick Sermon, who was constantly trying to “check their bags”.

Everlast enjoyed weed carrying roles for both Ice T‘s Rhyme Syndicate and Cypress Hill‘s Soul Assassins. He cleverly adapts his image to fit in with surroundings, as the Syndicate days saw him on some “Pretty Boy Floyd” image, while he transformed into an Irish hoodlum for his House of Pain era. His third phase was the Whitey Ford cowboy hat and guitar shit, which found him massive cross-over doing the kind of music DMC has dreamed of releasing for years., and finally saw him attain Weed Owner status after years of paying dues as a carrier.

Tarrie B, who looked like a third-rate Madonna, was Eazy-E’s personal sack holder (in both senses of the word) and even released an unlistenable album called The Power of a Woman in 1993, with lyrics ghost-written by ALT from the Latin Alliance. She later went to sing in rock bands like Tura Satana and My Ruin. Even though I’m not a doctor, I strongly suspect that she was the one that gave the Eazy “the bug”, since she was clearly a smack-fiend at some point.

Remedy Ross was the Wu-Tang Clan‘s premier weed carrier for a while, and he proved especially useful since he’s also Jewish, which meant that he could carry huge amounts of cheeba throughout Staten Island with little fear of getting hassled by the law. I think his dad also owns the cab sevice that Cappadonna works for.

After spending the early nineties carrying weed for Nice ‘N Smooth and Kid from Kid ‘N Play (or maybe just hairspray) and releasing a couple of singles, Bas Blasta is now a “holy” hip-hop artist, so the only bags he’s holding these days are filled with bread for the communion!

To be continued….